(Closed) It’s not fair! Don’t judge me :(

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

The only reason I would spend more money on the wedding is to invite more guests who I couldn’t otherwise accommodate.  But really, I don’t personally ever think about anyone else’s budget.  What works for one Bee may not work for another.  It’s all subjective!  Go brave with whatever you set forth for yourself and forget about the peanut gallery, whether they’re online or in your real world.

Post # 48
Member
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I have read a few posts, and for the life of me, the one I’m referring to I can’t find, but one of the comments was along the lines of “if you have $30,000 to spend on a wedding, you are selfish and should be donating money to charity etc and so forth” I was immediately offended by that one. And as for all these posters who “don’t get it” well why does it matter? Why do you have to “get” the motivation of other bees who choose to spend X amount of dollars on their wedding when that money could be used for other things. Maybe they already have a house and a car and thats what they can afford. I am having a somewhat pricey wedding, and sure that money could be considered a down payment on a house or a vehicle. But I already have both of those. I could donate that money to charity, but I donate to two causes every month that are very close to my heart. Me and my Fiance aren’t going into debt over our wedding, nor are we taking out a loan. But if we were, whats it to anyone else?? It would be no one’s business, and no one has to “get it”

Post # 49
Member
4005 posts
Honey bee

@Bostonsmom: Love your response!

We also already had a house when we were getting married, so we didn’t need to save for a down payment on one. I already had a car, and so did my husband. And if I want to throw a $30K wedding, it’s my perogative!

Post # 51
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Bostonsmom: I wish WB had a “like” button like of facebook lol. You are on point. You dont have to “get it” because its not you and you dont know other peoples situations. If you can afford it, and want to spend it, then do it.

Post # 52
Member
1076 posts
Bumble bee

@Bostonsmom: cosign.  And a couple of these posts that said “don’t get it” sounded a whole like “I think that is a completely stupid waste of money.”

Post # 53
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

What gets me are the posts where people use the phrase “mommy and daddy are paying” – I have seen that numerous times and it really is just a (not so) subtle way of calling someone spoiled. Saying “parents are paying” is not offensive, although even using the appropriate language some of the same implications are still there. Either way, why does it matter to anyone who is paying for someone else’s wedding?

Post # 54
Member
5166 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Personally I dont see what the big deal is, I’m having a low budget wedding and dont feel the need to give reasons for why I dont want to spend more than that. I dont care too much about the bees who think that budget weddings are tacky, so am not sure why they high budget bees are bothered when some pple think its tacky to spend a lot. I personally dont understand the desire to go into debt to have a “untacky” wedding. I’d rather not start my marriage in debt but thats just me

Post # 55
Member
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Bostonsmom: LOVE your comment.

and honestly, in this economy, if you have the money to spend on a wedding without going into debt, depleting your savings, etc, it’s not such a bad thing to put that money back into circulation! we had a big budget, but most of our vendors were ones we wanted to support, like small women-owned and local businesses, or florists and caterers that used local, sustainable flowers and produce.

Post # 56
Member
1374 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I spoke about “getting it” to answer the OP’s question about why certain people might comment when already engaged in a discussion about it.  No, I’m not going to go in a thread where different types of budgets aren’t being discussed and start asking questions, that would be obnoxious.  In fact, I can’t even recall ever having that type of discussion on these boards at all, save for one thread where the OP was talking about potentially taking out a loan to pay for her wedding.

If you don’t want people to question or “judge” your choices, don’t post about those choices on an internet message board, like Bakerella said.  It’s really that simple.

Post # 57
Member
699 posts
Busy bee

haha yeah there seems to be alot of people getting insulted on weddingbee by jealous people lately, maybe we should revert them to a new forum called  jealousbee. lol

Yeah that’s seriously ridiculous, I’ve seen posts where people post things saying omg I love these shoes or this dress!!! but I don’t like it, but I would NEVER tell them that unless they are truely asking for my opinion and even then I wouldn’t say I hate it, but I would say something along the lines of not being my style.

Post # 58
Member
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t care if anyone judges or comments on my budget, because at the end of the day, if they have a problem with it, thats exactly what it is. Their problem. They have no idea of my day-to-to-day finances or my long-term goals and savings plan. Lezlers, I’m NOT saying that you or anyone else has a problem with my budget, I’m just stating that I have read a few comments where posters are like “oh I don’t get it” whether they are referring to an expensive pair of Jimmy Choos, a non-diamond ring or a huge budget. I’m not bothered when ppl say it’s tacky to spend that kind of money or whatever because I am completely confident in all my wedding choices. I do however get bothered when I ppl say that I should have a smaller wedding and donate the rest of the money to charity because then I could say we should all sell our houses and buy smaller ones and donate that money to charity and it would be never-ending back and forth.

Post # 59
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree that we should all just play nice.  🙂  High budget or low budget, it doesn’t really matter.  It’s all about how the event is executed and the thought and passion that goes into it. It’s those little personal touches that make a wedding memorable, not the amount (or lack of) money thrown at it.  Same goes with e-rings. 

Post # 60
Member
4460 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t judge, but I do hope that everyone is aware of the wedding industry complex when they plan their wedding. I think they only posters who kind of get the eyeroll are the ones who are like “OMG! We only get to spend $30K!!! How am I going to make it work!” Or the posters who want to take out loans so they get get ice sculptures or live entertainers or replicate a David Tutera wedding.
If you have that kind of cash then so be it. But when you come here stating that you are eating instant noodles for the next year to pay for your wedding, we are going to try to ground you.

Post # 61
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Yay, WB ate my post.

The topic ‘It’s not fair! Don’t judge me :(’ is closed to new replies.

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