(Closed) It's not me he has to worry about–it's other people!

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3266 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I get crap alllllll the time about us not being married yet. We’ve been together for just under 6 years. I just tell them the time will come, or if it’s a friend bugging us I just say Ask him! if they ask when it’ll happen. As far as I know he hasn’t gotten too much hassle from anyone.

Post # 4
Member
3969 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@misskittenn:  I actually love it! All my good mutual friends are you know, concerned. So I said, by all means, call him up and ask what the hold up is! As long as it’s not me putting on the pressure hahaha

Post # 5
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Whenever anyone asks me why SO & I aren’t engaged/married yet, I always reply with “I don’t know, ask him!”  Tongue Out

Post # 6
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Some people put pressure on SO because we’re in an extreme LDR…and I actually love it.

Post # 7
Member
646 posts
Busy bee

I would LOVE it if he was getting slack from other people besides me!! From me its consider PRESSURE….from other people he might actually start to get it that if your 37 and with the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, its time to get a move on!!

Post # 8
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

It annoys me just because I know he wants to propose and is working very hard to make it happen! He’s just poor, is all. I feel like I have to defend him: “he’s found a ring, he’s just saving up for it and planning the proposal!” And then I get this weird look from them and I feel all guilty for saying ANYTHING. We waiting bees are supposed to be silent, delicate little flowers just a-waiting for our menfolk (or womenfolk) to propose without a thought in our dainty little heads. Ugh ugh ugh.

Post # 9
Member
945 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

There is a guy at work who was like this. He’s in a different office, but since i trained him, he felt some kind of need to be involved in my life. He was in his mid-50’s and kept dropping comments about how if we weren’t engaged after 2 years I should dump the shmuck (FI worked there at the time and got it worse). It drove me crazy. Every time he came in town he’d grab my hand and say “no ring yet? I’ll have to talk to him.” 

 

Post # 10
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I told my SO what my response was (see “ugh ugh ugh” above) and this was his response:

I don’t know why there’s so much pressure to get engaged and married anyway! Of course I wanted to be married, but sometimes there are circumstances that prevent a preferred timeline. How can people justify the opinion that the shorter the dating period the better the engagement/marriage? Do they assume that just because the proposal comes quicker that there is more love in that relationship? I think loving someone takes years of your life, not months. And how cruel of others to think the that proposer is just stringing the (to be) proposed along, and that the (to be) proposed is so naïve to be with someone who OBVIOUSLY is just holding out for something better! As you well know, I have a number of extenuating circumstances (i.e. hospital bills, student loans, car payments, company won’t hire me full time and haven’t been offered work anywhere else, etc.) I swear, when people do that to me, from now on, I will ask them these questions because I shouldn’t have to feel like I have to explain my situation to them. I love my long relationship with you. I’ve learned so much about you in these past (almost) four years. I don’t want to be like my parents and some of my friends who find out the worst in each other after they’ve married too soon. Engagement says that you want something for life (at least it should,) and I don’t think life decisions can be made in less than a year.

So I replied:

People just judge. It’s what they do. We do it, too. People are judgey, judgey bastards. Too soon, too late, too young, too old, not successful enough, not settled enough, not cool enough, too wild, too boring! We are damned if we do and damned if we don’t so baby, LET’S DO IT OUR WAY!

His response:

YEAH! I like our way… =) How is you feeling lovey britches?

 

I love that man.

 

Post # 11
Member
3421 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

He used to tell me when people would ask him when we first moved in together. At first I didn’t think anything of it, then the waiting madness hit me and now I would love it if he told me again. It was very embarassing when we stayed at my almost-uncles house (my dad’s cousin, but acts like my Uncle) when we were in FL and he asked my SO when he was going to put a ring on it. I just stared at my peas and I actually do not remember what he said…something like soon, but may not have been.

I wish someone would ask him. I HOPE THEY DO! I hope every time I walk into his job, once I leave someone is asking him “hey, when you gonna marry that fine P.O.A. wifey you got?”

Post # 12
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I am best friends with my future sister-in-law from childhood. I met my fiance at her wedding. When I was “waiting” my future in-laws would constantly ask her when we were going to get engaged or if she knew an egagement was coming.

But they would never ask HIM, which annoyed me.

Post # 13
Member
3421 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@kimm99:  Why is it that no one ever ask the man!? When he is the one who has to ask the damn question, why do people always ask the woman?! Like I freaking know!

Post # 15
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@misskittenn:  Let other people bother him, you just sit there and look innocent. hehe 

I use to love it when people would ask him when he was going to propose. At least it was not me doing it. hehe 

Post # 16
Member
242 posts
Helper bee

I know what you mean sapphire. Why do they ask us and not them?! Thankfully everyone who knows me pretty well knows this is a sore topic for me so no one asks me. I really appreciate it and I have good friends and family like that. I also wish people were asking him. Maybe they are and he never mentions it.

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