(Closed) It's Official: He left me at 31 weeks

posted 8 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 17
131 posts
Blushing bee

ow hunny I am so sorry you have to go through this, guess he is not worth your tears walking out on you now however 🙁 *hugs*. this may be a difficult time but when your little one comes along I am sure he/she will fill your heart with so much love 

Post # 18
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh wow. I’m so sorry, hon. This is awful, but it’s probably going to be for the better. I know that sounds horrible, but if he can’t stand by you no matter what, it’s better to find that out now.

Post # 19
1776 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow… I am so sorry.  I don’t know who would do that, but it’s awful.  Make sure when the baby is born you get every dime of child support that you can!

Post # 20
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I cannot relate entirely. I do understand though the unexpected pregnancy and the rollercoaster of emotions, although my husband (not husband at the time) and I did make it through.

I do know the pain though, of the unknown, and the unexpected, and the hurting inside. And I am so sorry you are dealing with that. Your pregnancy should be one the happiest times in your life, and if I can give you a little bit of advice it’s this :

Depsite the pain, and the hurt, and the suffering you are dealing with, please look beyond that. You are in such an amazing time in your life right now. You are carrying your child, in your body, and that is so, so special. So please enjoy your pregnancy, I wish I did mine more.

This is your first ( I’m assuming), and could be your last, so embrace this time for yourself, and your little one inside of you, because these are moments you will never get back. SO with every movement, and every kick, let yourself feel that happiness, and that gratitude instead of, allowing an assole like the guy who left you, spoil such a time in your life. You want to look back, and remember the happiest moments, like your pregnancy with memories of happiness, not sorrow. And I know it must be tough, and it will be tough for a while longer, but don’t hold onto the pain, move forward, move on, and something bigger, and better will come along.

Post # 21
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

There is a special kind of hell for men like this… I am so sorry you are going this!

Post # 22
11266 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i’m sorry to hear this.  how long were the two of you together?

if he can’t handle the stress of your pregnancy, it’s probably a good indication of how he will handle becoming a parent.   his absence may be a blessing in diguise.  it’s easier and healthier to raise a child in a happy, stress-free home regardless of the number of parents involved. 

it can be done alone.  many of us have.  it sounds like you have a wonderful support system with your family.  that’s important.  that’s what you and your baby will need; a loving, caring and stable home.  good luck.  i know you can do it.

Post # 23
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@carroll2bee:Dear Bee. I’m so sorry. Please, try to be strong and surround yourself of positive, supportive people. You’ll soon be a mother and this will fill your heart with joy. I’ll think of you and send you a ray of love. HUGS.

Post # 24
5398 posts
Bee Keeper

Aw, I’m so sorry. I just told my SO and he said “whaaaat that’s fucked up” ha so know there are real men out there and you deserve one. Like others have said, it’s better to find out his true colors now than down the road! Good luck to you, and know you are a strong woman!

Post # 25
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Oh my God honey! I am so sorry. I can not imagine how hard this must be for you. I am sending you first off lots of love and support. Secondly, i know it’s not easy but he did you a big favor showing you his true colors because the only thing worse than having a baby on your own is having a baby with someone who doesnt love or respect you. I hope you have a profound support group around you. I know many women who had babies and went on to meet wonderful men who loved them and their child. Take heart. 

Post # 26
3354 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I told a guy friend about your situation, OP, and his response was:

“…..that’s about as shitty as you can get”.

I can’t relate, but I do know that this is a rough time and I’m sending all my hugs to you!! *hugsss*

Post # 27
3774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

OP, I am not in any way defending him but I am just going to tell you my experience. 

My husband and I were married, we planned to get pregnant, and did.  10 weeks into my pregnancy I came home from work to find a note asking me to pack my stuff and leave because he did not want to be a father or a husband.  At that point, I couldn’t even breath because my whole world had just fallen apart.  This stupidity lasted exactly one day, and he came to his senses and apologized profusely for being the biggest douche bag fool ever.  We are happily married today and he is the greatest father in the world to both of our children.

I am not saying that this will happen.  I am only saying that he may be having a huge stupid freak out and may in fact come to his senses.  Perhaps the impending responsibility is getting to him (like it did my DH), or he might always just be an idiot.  I hope this perspective helps.

Post # 28
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

@carroll2bee:  I’m so, so sorry to hear this. I’m glad you have your parents nearby. Lean on them and your friends right now. I’m sure this will be rough and very hard, but you will get through this. Hang in there…(((Hugs)))



View original reply
@MrsFuzzyFace:  I’m glad it worked out for you, but I could never have forgiven my husband if he left me a note telling me to get out because he didn’t want to be a father or husband. I wouldn’t have trusted him ever again.

Post # 29
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Oh gosh that is so horrible- lean on friends and family as much as you need to, they will be the best resource you have to get you through the end of your pregnancy! Just try to stay positive so that you don’t put your body under too much stress- I understand how impossible that seems right now, though. Get all of your legal ducks in a row as much as you can- document any text messages, emails, voicemails… you’ll need it all very soon when you find yourself in court. Best of luck!!!!

Post # 30
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

O wow. I am so, so sorry. Keep leaning on your family. You will have a beautiful little one to love in a few weeks and he/she will benefit from not having the father in your life if he’s the type to leave. Focus on your future. (((Hugs)))

Post # 31
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Oh wow…what a douche.

It is good you have family to help you.

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