(Closed) It's official. Spanking is useless. What do you all think?

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
Post # 2
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I don’t think we’ll be spanking our children (DH wasn’t spanked), but I was and I guess I appear to be the exception to the rule of this study. No anger/aggression issues, graduated with a great GPA and went to a top-25 university, never felt the need to defy my parents and have an outstanding relationship with them, didn’t drink before I turned 21 (rarely drink now), don’t smoke/do drugs, etc. Same with my 3 siblings. We were never hit in anger, and we all turned out as very well-adjusted adults.

Post # 3
Member
4844 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

The knowledge that it is harmful is in no way new. My only hope is that one day laws catch up with science. 

Post # 4
Member
2180 posts
Buzzing bee

Seems like this can of worms gets opened every few months on here. I wonder how many pages this thread will accumulate? 

There are a myriad of studies showing that corporal punishment/spanking can have a negative effect on a child’s mental and emotional development, and I’ve yet to see a study that shows a positive effect. Physical violence isn’t an appropriate means of communication in any other circumstance, so I don’t know why interactions with children are an exception.

Post # 5
Member
1449 posts
Bumble bee

I believe the study. I was spanked as a kid and although I did “turn out fine”, I’ve noticed that spanking made me (a) more prone to lying as a child (to avoid being spanked) and (b) more likely to want to hit someone when they make me mad. I never have hit anyone, (hopefully) never will, but the urge is definitely there and I dont like it. So yeah… We won’t be spanking

Post # 6
Member
5081 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

I was probably spanked occasionally, but not hard and not often enough for me to even remember it. I’m such a goodie-two-shoes it’s not even funny. I never wanted to disappoint my parents and aside from the normal teenage girl stuff, I was a really good kid. I hated (and still hate) being yelled at, so that was an effective deterrent for me.

DH had the typical “old-fashioned” belting experience. He got beat if he was bad, not just a tap on the bottom. I could never do that to my children, even though DH came out ok. He does have issues, but I think they’re more to do with his PTSD than his parents, since they weren’t present prior to his time in the military. I do know several other friends who were belted as children who are well-adjusted successful individuals, though I’m sure the opposite is true of many people as well. 

Post # 7
Member
3287 posts
Sugar bee

I would go ahead and close this. 

Post # 8
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Oh man, I’m probably going to get a lot of shit for this, but here I go:

I got spanked probably once a month when I was growing up, into my teens. I didn’t have any emotional development issues or anything, and I think it’s been blown way out of the water. Does that mean I’m going to spank my kid? God, no. I’ll end up in jail. However, I know when I was a child screaming my ass off because mommy didn’t get me something that I wanted, or I was yelling at her and being rude/disrespectful, I got a hit on the ass or a tug of the hair. I think that there are a lot more extreme cases that are out there that are bringing awareness to this, but if I see a mom drag a kid out of a restuarant for throwing a hissy fit cause he didn’t get dessert after not finishing his veggies, I won’t clutch my pearls. There IS child abuse out there, and I’m not trying to belittle it. Maybe it’s just a different day in age.

Post # 9
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

In my family, we believe in “pops” instead of spanking. Quick and slightly harder than you would knock on a door… honestly, hate me all you want but a well-timed pop can do wonders.

Post # 10
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

View original reply
usnavyfiance:  Hahahaha I got the tug on the hair too! I’ve never met anyone else who got that!

And that’s a perfect example of when I would use a “pop” – your kid is losing their shit in the grocery store and all other interventions have failed… Quick pop on the bottom and usually they are back to reality.

Post # 11
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
usnavyfiance:  I think I kind of agree with you – I don’t have children but I dont think a slap on the hand for reaching for the hot oven is going to incur long term effects. That being said, there’s a time and a place and a limit to spanking and I know that’s different for every parent. 

 

Post # 12
Member
575 posts
Busy bee

What a surprise! Why would you expect someone to become a better person when you use violence on them is beyond me… Except for hating my dad because he (admittedly very occasionally) did that to me when I was young, it has certainly not made me more compliant.

Post # 13
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I managed to raise two children to adulthood without spanking them, I didn’t like the idea of hitting my child. Yelling at them seemed to work just fine lol. But they were great kids overall and didn’t need a lot of correction. 

Post # 14
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

View original reply
ana2017:  I think the Pope, Ghandi, and Albert Einstein could co-author a similar article and my in-laws would still say it’s garbage and that spanking works.  Unless Jesus Christ descends from heaven and tells them otherwise, we’re going to be told we spoil our girls for not spanking them until death parts us.  Deep breath.

Post # 15
Member
3242 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Violence is disgusting. Why can we hit kids but not hit our partners? Seriously, why? Cutesying it up by calling it ‘pops’ doesn’t change the fact that violence and physical pain is being used by the person supposed to protect said child against said child. Healthy?? Why? 

The topic ‘It's official. Spanking is useless. What do you all think?’ is closed to new replies.

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