Post # 1
my wedding is in mexico (where i live) and i was wondering if its ok to write thankyou notes to the english guests the day(s) after the wedding and hand them in person before they leave? or is that a bit strange? providing i make sure theyre all done at the same time?
its more a formal thankyou for coming and taking the time out of their lives to come across the world, as im not registering for gifts/ dont expect gifts. as im not registering i dont see that i could be surprised by a gift after they leave and then have to send another one
i know its supposed to be sent by mail…but unless i write them and pass them to my family to send when they get back i dont think theyd arrive
or is it a bit weird?
Post # 3
Hm, I honestly don’t know what etiquette says on this, so I am going to answer as if I were to receive a thank you note by hand.
I would find it to be a little bit weird. It’s always nice to get a thoughtful note in the mail (as regular mail is usually just bills and catalogs most of the time). If a note was handed to me, I would struggle with whether or not I’m expected to open and read it then and there, do I take it with me? I wouldn’t have any clue it was even a thank you note as that wouldn’t be the first assumption I’d make about being handed a card, ya know?
That all being said, if handing out notes to folks as they leave is going to ensure that they receive a thank you – do it!!
Post # 4
So, I just looked for an answer on Emiy Post’s web site, and the Etiquette Queen does not actually address mailing vs. physically giving a note.
I will say that everyone loves fun mail. If I am handed a card I might put it in my bag, but if I receive one in the mail, it will likely go on the fridge 🙂
Post # 5
yeah my gut feeling says it would be a bit strange. i guess the solution is to write them, give them to my mum and have her mail them for me from london…well, providing she doesnt mind of course!
because i think id feel a bit odd if they opened it in front of me!
Post # 6
I’ve read that it is OK etiquette-wise to do this, as long as you hand deliver them to the recipient. Meaning you physically hand it to the person, not stick it in their mailbox, or under their door, or give to someone else to hand to them.
Post # 7
I would be impressed & pretty happy to get a hand delivered thank you as long as you stopped for a moment to chat/say thanks in person too. Since so many people don’t send out thank yous, I think people would be glad to get them & would understand how expensive it could get mailing things internationally. Just be personal & don’t write a form thank you & I think you’ll be golden.
Post # 8
I think the point is to thank them, not how it is delivered. It may be quite a bit of work to undergo on vacation though!
Post # 9
Also, if you’re factoring in international mail prices, I would absolutely hand-deliver it (or have someone else hand deliver it).
I’m a teacher, and we always have showers/birthday parties/retirement parties. No one EVER mails thank-you cards after those events–they always give them to us personally or put them in our work mailbox. If we give a group gift, they sometimes even write one thank you note to all of us and we are supposed to pass it around (pointless, in my opinion….but that’s because I don’t care about thank you notes).
So in your case, I would say you should just hand it to them.
Post # 10
I don’t see why that wouldn’t be ok. The point is that the guests get thank-you notes in the first place.
Post # 11
@Pinkmoon: the english ones i can do quite quickly (under 10 people)
what im going to struggle with is getting fi to help me with the spanish ones for the non-english speaking mexican guest’s. and i know hes going to resist me and keep saying “tomorrow tomorrow” . even if i got him to write out a rough template, im going to have trouble personalising each one using proper spanish. and writing in english when they cant read it would be a bit pointless