(Closed) its ok to hand out thankyou notes personally?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1736 posts
Bumble bee

Hm, I honestly don’t know what etiquette says on this, so I am going to answer as if I were to receive a thank you note by hand.

I would find it to be a little bit weird. It’s always nice to get a thoughtful note in the mail (as regular mail is usually just bills and catalogs most of the time). If a note was handed to me, I would struggle with whether or not I’m expected to open and read it then and there, do I take it with me? I wouldn’t have any clue it was even a thank you note as that wouldn’t be the first assumption I’d make about being handed a card, ya know?

That all being said, if handing out notes to folks as they leave is going to ensure that they receive a thank you – do it!!

Post # 4
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

So, I just looked for an answer on Emiy Post’s web site, and the Etiquette Queen does not actually address mailing vs. physically giving a note.

I will say that everyone loves fun mail.  If I am handed a card I might put it in my bag, but if I receive one in the mail, it will likely go on the fridge 🙂

Post # 6
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’ve read that it is OK etiquette-wise to do this, as long as you hand deliver them to the recipient.  Meaning you physically hand it to the person, not stick it in their mailbox, or under their door, or give to someone else to hand to them.

Post # 7
53 posts
Worker bee

I would be impressed & pretty happy to get a hand delivered thank you as long as you stopped for a moment to chat/say thanks in person too. Since so many people don’t send out thank yous, I think people would be glad to get them & would understand how expensive it could get mailing things internationally. Just be personal & don’t write a form thank you & I think you’ll be golden.  

Post # 8
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I think the point is to thank them, not how it is delivered. It may be quite a bit of work to undergo on vacation though!

Post # 9
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Also, if you’re factoring in international mail prices, I would absolutely hand-deliver it (or have someone else hand deliver it).

I’m a teacher, and we always have showers/birthday parties/retirement parties.  No one EVER mails thank-you cards after those events–they always give them to us personally or put them in our work mailbox.  If we give a group gift, they sometimes even write one thank you note to all of us and we are supposed to pass it around (pointless, in my opinion….but that’s because I don’t care about thank you notes).

So in your case, I would say you should just hand it to them.

Post # 10
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t see why that wouldn’t be ok. The point is that the guests get thank-you notes in the first place. 

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