(Closed) It's okay that he's not ready…

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
4528 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Glad you had a good talk and have found a good place 🙂 my FH was also in bad relationships before. It makes him appreciate that I’m not an evil bitch, but it makes him vulnerable and slow to trust, so I understand what it’s like to deal with that.

Post # 4
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I’m glad that you had a good talk with him and that you’re feeling better! Sometimes it helps so much to just find out where they stand, even if it’s not the same place that you’re in at that point.

 

Post # 5
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

Aww congrats 🙂 hope you can move in soon!

Post # 6
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@laughs:  Oh, yay! Sometimes the hard conversations are the best to go through. There is an afterglow to those sorts of things, and I’m so happy you guys talked it out. I do hope you get to move in soon. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
2379 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Talking about it is such a big step.  I know my fiance had his share of abusive relationships, and it took a while for him to realize that he was safe with me.  At least for him, once his brain fully accepted the fact that I wasn’t going to ridicule him for his past or be abusive like his exes, he started moving forward a lot faster.  

It’s ok to not be ready, and I’m happy both of you understand that.  Moving in is a good step!  The nice thing is that when he does ask you, you’ll know beyond a doubt that he is truly ready, and not just asking you because he feels pressured.

Post # 8
Member
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I think there are situatins where you are waiting together. Where you both realize that now is not the right time, and you are waiting together until the right time arrives. It sounds like you two are waiting together, and it’s so sweet. <3

Post # 9
Member
76 posts
Worker bee

@laughs:  That’s endearing that he is opening up to you about some pretty dark stuff now. That’s a really hard thing to do. It’s even more endearing that he WANTS to be ready even if he isn’t quite yet.

I think you are handling it perfectly. You’re letting him know you accept that he isn’t ready, and I think that’ll get him there faster than being upset with him because you’re ready and he’s not.

I think the opening up shows that he is getting closer and closer to being ready 🙂

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