(Closed) Deleted.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1925 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

**hugs** I don’t really have any comforting words, but I wanted to say how hard this must be for you.  I can’t believe all he’s put you through, you clearly don’t deserve this.  HUGS

Post # 4
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Sweet.Sugar.Rose:  You deserved better than this for a father. I’m so sorry that he neglected your relationship and continues to. He obviously doesn’t care enough about your relationship to try and fix it, so i would say that it’s up to you now to figure out how to let go and move on with your life. Have you tried counseling? It might help to talk to someone and figure out how to deal with the sadness you still have over this situation. *BIG HUGS*

Post # 5
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

🙁 I’m sorry sweetie! I too have an on-again, off-again father. Though not exactly the same situation, we had long periods of time where we had no contact throughout my childhood. It never has made any sense to me. I take something positive from knowing I don’t think my Darling Husband (or yours!) could or would ever do that.

I don’t have any advice other than to say your feelings are just that – your feelings. Feel them however much or little you want to. It sounds like writing stuff out helps you cope (I’m the same way, I have a private blog for all my feelings, happy or sad) and I hope that you find what you want. It sounds like closure and answers, but I may be wrong. I really do wish you the best – we can PM about it if you EVER want to! XO

Post # 6
1076 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m sorry to hear this, hugzz

I’m 25 and haven’t spoken/seen my dad since I was 15. Its hard.

Post # 7
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

This is so hard and so sad 🙁  You need to take care of yourself and figure out how to let this go.  Just know that you and your husband can be for your children what you never had.  you can still have the family you wanted and he can be the father you always needed! 

Good Luck

Post # 8
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Oh mrs. Estep! I am so sorry.

I loves you!!!!! (huggles)

Post # 9
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@Sweet.Sugar.Rose:  Your story sounds a lot like mine, except my father had a little girl that I got to meet when I was 8, and a brother soon followed. 

At least yours bothered to tell you he wasn’t coming to your wedding. Mine did not call me. Mine did not facebook me. Mine couldn’t even be bothered to walk his ass to the end of his sidewalk to drop the SELF ADDRESSED, STAMPED ENVELOPE into the mailbox.  

It hurts, believe me it does. But my father lives in a sea of drama, and even though I have thoughts of “this SHOULD be ________” on occasion, ultimately I am glad that he doesn’t involve me in his cloud of drama, because it would seriously be detrimental to my mental health trying to make sure he isn’t going off the deep end again. He’s a grown man, and needs to address that himself. 

I know his drug and alcohol issues kept him away when I was younger, and I know he feels guilt now as an adult. It’s about self preservation, and not about anything I (and most likely you too) did wrong. Give yourself the time to grieve if you can not bring yourself to speak to him and tell him how you feel. Most likely even if you did speak to him, it wouldn’t change. People work on their terms only.

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