Post # 1
…but you would think it was by the amount of criticism, judgement and comments we get from everyone about our 2 year old toddler using a soother… Why on earth do people care so much about this AND feel so entitled to make this thier business??
Father-In-Law: pulls it out of toddlers mouth and pretends to throw it away
Future Mother-In-Law: hides it from toddler
Brother-In-Law: “Is he getting too old for that now?”
My Father: “I don’t want to kiss you with that stupid thing!”
My Mother: “Oh god take that dummy out”
Random mom at daycare: “WHAT is THAT in your mouth?!”
Why do I have to justify this to people? It really bothers and upsets me and makes me feel so defensive, and I’m worried about my son’s feelings being bullied by all these comments too. Our child is clean, well fed with healthy food, happy, very loved and can have full conversations. And he happens to also LOVE his sooother. He doesn’t have it all the time, but when he does we ask him to take it out when he talks so we can understand him. And he does. Geez you would think we were beating him in the street. We must be terrible parents to still ‘let’ him have a soother. Or maybe I’m just not interested in causing him anxiety and upset by taking it away before he’s ready. Why can’t people just back off and leave him and us alone about the damn soother!
Post # 2
Is a soother the same thing as a pacifier? Sorry, just want to make sure I’m on the same page as you! Two years old might seem a bit old to some people for your kid to still have one, but whatever, it’s not their kid! You know what’s best for him, and I see nothing wrong with it. He’ll ditch it when he’s good and ready.
Post # 3
almostaudrey: Yes a soother is the same as a pacifier/binky/etc
Post # 4
Is “soother” another word for pacifier or “nooni”? I’m just trying to understand what he has in his mouth.
My Fiance niece had her pacifier until she was 5 and had to go to school. That was really hard for her. She was also not potty trained until she was 3-4 which was also super hard for her.
I’m not a parent and I don’t like all the judgment that happens around childcare but I do know that while it was hard for her to give up the pacifier (at age 5), it would have been better for her teeth and her self-esteem to have been encouraged to give it up earlier.
For a two year old though, pick your damn battles. He takes it out when you ask and he doesn’t have it all the time; those people need to mind their own business.
Also, don’t you find it funny how if you took a cigarette or a beer out of an adults hand and said something like “I don’t want to kiss you with that stupid thing!” or pulled it out of adults mouth and pretended to throw it away, that would be out of line?
I vote you do just that next time someone says something about a toddler having a soother.
Post # 5
mawagedweam07192017: Yes! Exactly – why are the rules different when it comes to kids and parent judgment? I wonder how someone else would like it.
Post # 6
My daughter had one of those until she was maybe between 2 and 3. She had chewed the end off of it and stuck her finger all the way thru it to suck it so she was basically sucking her finger with a latex covering. It was extremely hard to get it away from her but I did bite the bullet one day and had HER throw it in the trash. It was not the best for her teeth. She had a full set of baby teeth by then and they didn’t meet in the middle because of the pacifier – the top set didn’t touch the bottom set and there was a large arch between. I’m sure people aren’t picking at you to be a pain, having them past a certain age can cause issues that will be bothersome later. I didn’t let my other children have one at all because of that. At some point, you’re going to need to address it. Why not now?
Post # 7
greaselightning: Send this link to all the assholes in your life. http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/behavioral/bye-bye-binky-ending-the-pacifier-habit/ Here’s the important excerpt:
“The good news for parents puzzling over pacifiers: Experts agree they’re entirely appropriate for soothing baby. Still, pediatric dentists recommend limiting pacifier time once a child is 2 and eliminating it by age 4 to avoid dental problems.”
Or better yet, don’t bother rationalizing your decision and tell them to back the F off, as you’re the parent and they have exactly zero say in this and just about every other choice you make for your son.
Post # 8
greaselightning: I was expecting to see him be like 15 yrs old or something. Haha! Vent away. Not sure why people have to be so rude and won’t even kiss him. Jeez, that’s so mean. He’s just a little kid.
Post # 9
Pacifiers are not healthy for children. They are the cause of many ear infections. As a child’s eustacian n tube is short and flat at that age and even the slightest germs can travel easily to their ear.
I don’t know why people are giving you’re business because it’s none of theirs, but perhaps they understand all the health upissuesnitmcauses from ear infections to dental issues and are trying to help.
even though I would never say anything to anyone’s kid or parent, my personal feeling about hem is they are gross. The sucking sound is gross and the spit that seems to drip from children’s munall the time is gross. My niece and nephew both had them until 2-3 years and I didn’t like to kiss them because their mouth was always watery with spit from the pacifier. Alas they got older it was a lot less clean because they would drop it and then pick it up and put it in their mouth. whereas in babies if the falls usually the parent puts it away and gives them a clean one.
Post # 10
greaselightning: Unless they are the ones paying for your kid’s future braces they really don’t get an opinion. If it were my kid I would follow doctors reccomendations on when to dump the binky or as I called it for some crazy reason as a child a “Mowy” haha. I think I had mine for way too long and I think it was responsible for me needing a lot of orthodontia that was rather painful as a teen. Mostly with the alignment of my bite and jaw more than anything. But as long as you know the risks of him keeping it vs having to give it up before he’s ready then it’s still up to you as his parent.
Post # 11
I had one for a really long time-I think until I was 3-4! I never used it in kindergarten and only once in a while when I got older though (or so I heard-can’t remember). I do think it shifted my teeth, but I later got braces. I never had an ear infection in my entire life.
Those people sound obnoxious to be honest. It is a pacifier, not a cigarette and kids usually stop using it on their own! Have you ever met someone who NEVER stopped using one? I second the opinion of a PP: try treating those afults like they treat your son. Like slap a chicken finger out of their hand and yell at them:”Oh my gosh! Don’t you know this can cause obesity, diabetes, heart disease stroke etc???”
Post # 12
Your Father-In-Law sounds like a bully, pulling it right out of your toddler’s mouth and pretending to hide it on the poor wee guy. Does your little boy get upset and does the Father-In-Law seem to enjoy provoking a reaction out of him? I’d take huge issue on this in general, regardless of any debate on soothers. These adults are over-stepping their bounds- and your FIL’s actions are unacceptable, you or your Darling Husband need to tell him to keep his hand’s off YOUR child- and his soother.
Post # 13
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
People seem to think that their way of raising kids is the right way. Or they think you somehow missed out on some critical parental knowledge and you are lucky to get their sound advice and wise words. Tell them, “your opinion has been noted and this is not up for discussion.” Some people think they’re such great parents that they can raise everyones kids. How obnoxious.
Post # 14
- Wedding: September 2014 - Merritt Winery
I told this one piece of info to my family and it shut them up and they stopped trying to pull it out of my son’s mouth. My Mother-In-Law works with kids. She’s had some conversations with the speech pathologists at her school and they told her that binks (what we call it) are good for developing the muscles in baby’s mouths resulting in better speech control and less instances of lisps or other speech impediments.
I bet your family will stop thinking it’s such a big deal after hearing that!
Post # 15
would I silently judge… yes (same way I judge anything thats not good for a child)
would I say something… no, its your business if you want to damage or risk your child with something legal and honestly I cant be bothered preaching to people or weasling my way into others business as no one would listen to stuff they dont want to hear anyway so why bother
not my circus, not my little monkey and a rod for your own back not mine
however if I saw my kids doing something dangerous with my grandkids your damn sure id speak up… because its the kid has to live with the conciquence not the parent and id protect my little grandchild