(Closed) It's over bees. My marriage is over.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Oh honey, I understand you are upset, but NO man is worth this!  You have got to keep telling yourself that it’s going to be ok, because it is! 

Life may not look the way you expected it to when you are genuinely happy, but if you just keep on going, keep doing what works for you and no one else, one day, you will be sitting somewhere and realize that you are in fact happy, content and just where you wanted to be. 

Avail yourself to that truth, ask for help when you need it and NEVER be embarrassed about living your life…Zsa Zsa Gabor got divorced like nine times and she’s still fabulous, so whatever!

Forget your troubles and have a Merry Christmas!


Post # 4
23 posts
  • Wedding: February 2005

I must be missing something here… it just sounds like you had a fight about where to spend Christmas? That doesn’t mean your marriage is over! Or am I missing some background?

I can tell you Darling Husband wants to spend Christmas with his parents & I want to spend mine with my parents. We’re trying to decide on how to work it out so we can see both. Even if one is celebrated a week later or something. Is that an option? To visit your side of the family later on?

Post # 7
9482 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I sent you a PM.  (hugs hugs hugs)

Post # 8
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

First…congratulations on your high GPA, that is awesome.

Second…. try to keep yourself from contacting his friends and family. If you feel like you are on the brink again, I implore you to talk to your mother and get re-admitted. Don’t be afraid to seek help. Like Nona said….. no man is worth this. It is going to take time to get through this and you need a support system. It is great you are looking to here for help, but family is best. Keep up with your studies, you can do this.

Post # 9
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I don’t have any words of wisdom, but I read every word, and I am so sorry. Don’t let yourself hit bottom – call a hotline, get readmitted, reach out to you mom, etc. Take all the help you need.

Post # 10
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m also a little confused….is it that you decided not to go to his parents house due to the weather and thats why he was furious?

The holidays always seems to get people stressed out and dividing your time between your two families can be so troublesome. We are alternating holidays in an attempt to make things fair…if its so fresh then maybe you both just need some time to relax and think about things when you are both ready to talk.

 Either way i really hope things get better for you. Keep your chin up and we’re here for you! *hugs*

Post # 11
49 posts
  • Wedding: October 2014
Post # 12
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Honestly, after reading that post I thought maybe you were being unreasonable because he wanted to see his family and you wouldn’t compromise but thank you to whoever posted the other links so I could get background information, that really clarified things for me and made me realize that he has some major issues!! How dare him say stuff like you can work, do the housework and raise kids while he sits on his ass and hunts/fishes. Let me tell you, that would be enough reason for my to divorce right there. A marriage is a joint thing, with both people taking on equal responsibilty. While it is great he has a hobby, it is not YOUR responsbility to do all the housework while going to school, especially if you are going to school so that one of you can actually have a job. Sure, living off pension is fine now but when you want to buy a house or have kids, someone is going to have to work.

From your previous post, it sounds like he has some really serious mental health issues and these are not issues to be taken lightly. It also sounds like his parents have been enablers, babied him and not made him get real help. It also sounds like they are willing to defend him when he is in the wrong and go against you and your marriage to him. However, you can’t change him and you can’t change the way they handle it. Honestly, you may be better off without him and please, please do not let yourself be hurt by someone who no offense sounds crazy.

Post # 14
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I’m sorry that your situation got so bad for you.  But I’ve been reading your recent posts about your issues with your husband.  I think he’s irretrievably broken.  And his parents are rotten, enabling people who want him to be screwed up.  They want you under their trumb as well.  You’re better off without him or them.  

I don’t know you personally, but I know there’s much more to you as a person than two marriages that went wrong.  Please don’t judge yourself for that.  All any of us can do is learn from our mistakes and move on.  There’s a whole big world out there full of ways that you can find happiness for yourself.  Getting finished with school is going to be a great start.  

Post # 15
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@nyscpa2be:  Oh my….yes I remember the previous posts now. This abuse is unacceptable! Honestly I commend you for staying and tryng as much as you did. You deserve so much better than this. Although its hard because of the Holidays, just try and surround yourself with your family and friends and try and move on. We’re here for you!!

Post # 16
11271 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@nyscpa2be:  i’m sorry to hear this but after reading your posts i have to say, “you are better off without him”.  that may sound harsh but you can do it on your own.  you are a very intelligent women (congrats on your gpa btw) and you don’t need a man to be successful.

i agree with pp.  focus on yourself.  talk to your family, minister, etc for support but don’t ever give up hope.

so what if you get divorced again?  i’ve been divorced 2x.  i really don’t see it as a big deal.  my true friends and family don’t look at me any differently and that’s all that matters.

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