(Closed) It's over. I was blindsided.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
2107 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I am so sorry. That is horrible and you absolutely deserve better! I’m glad to hear you feel like a weight has been lifted…he definitely doesn’t sound like the type of man you’d want to spend the rest of your life with anyways.

I’m sure you will find the REAL man of your dreams!

Post # 18
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Wow… I am so, so sorry. 🙁 Please don’t feel like you aren’t welcome here on the Bee anymore- I know of a handful of other bees who have had their relationships end and continue to stick around as part of the community. <3 I’m sure we’d all love to have you here.

You never really know a person until you go through the really hard times with them. That’s when who they really are comes out.

In your case, it seems like you and your Fiance had a really rough patch (the ring incident), and instead of staying around and sticking it out and making it work, he decided to bail on you emotionally with someone else. As horrible as this is, try to remind yourself that it’s better that this happened now, and not after you were already married.

You deserve someone who is going to fight for your relationship, not someone who bails when the water gets rough. He’s out there- and he’s coming as quickly as he can.

Lastly, I know it’s probably really hard not to think of his ‘other woman’ in a poor light, but do try your very best not to think of her as the ‘skank.’ Chances are, she may not have even known that your Fiance was already involved with someone, and would have been just as surprised as you. (And probably hurt as well, but I doubt her pain would have been as severe after three months as yours must be after three years.)

Hang in there, girl. We’re here for you.

Post # 19
Member
2552 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Oh my goodness. I am so sorry. I’m always terrible in these situations but I’m so happy to know that you got out of the relationship sooner rather than later. Many many hugs!!!!!!

Post # 20
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I know I’m new here, and I know this doesn’t help, but I am so…so sorry about everything for you. I wish I could just hug you and make everything better. He’s absolutely and completely terrible for doing that, and trying to make himself look like a hero. Just terrible. Again, I am so incredibly sorry for all he’s put you through

Post # 21
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@SnowInApril:  I’m so sorry you’re hurting but I’m relieved for you. I followed your other posts and I was genuinely worried you’d stick it out with him. It’s painful now but you’ll find someone so much better. He did not deserve you.

Post # 22
Member
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

View original reply
@SnowInApril:  You didn’t do anything. He changed. Let him have his skank.

 

Hell now I would totally tell himabout you kssing Jake at the park  *evil laughter***

Post # 24
Member
232 posts
Helper bee

Speaking as someone who has been there in a similar-yet-really-different situation… don’t think you drove him to cheat. Really, do not start thinking like that. Sometimes people have their own problems and their own selfishness going on in their heads and they hide it well, and it’s for all their own reasons.

Maybe the engagement freaked him out, turned him into a huge jerk, or maybe his true colors were just coming out after a long time — whatever the reasons, YOU did not drive him to cheat. He drove him to cheat. If he had a problem, he should have manned up and communicated it, not spent 3 MONTHS going around with someone else. I mean seriously, 3 months? Being “torn” between you two? I could go on all day. What an A-hole.

I am so sorry 🙁

Post # 25
Member
9795 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Wow I’m so sorry!  I know it sucks now and is awful, but I really think you are better off without someone like him.  MUCH better off without him than marrying someone like that. You deserve, and will find, someone who treats you better and respects you.  Stay strong!  Even though it hurts now…When you meet someone who really deserves you, you will be soooo happy things ended with this jerk!

Post # 26
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@SnowInApril:  I remember your original ring thread but missed the one about running into Jake (your ex)

I have to say that I’m so sorry you found out he had another girlfriend. I would also like to add that a part of me is glad because based on what I’ve read, you deserve SO much better than him and you certainly have enough self respect to not take him back after he cheated on you.

I didn’t read the whole “running into the ex” thread (just the first post) so I don’t know if anything has happened since but you may want to explore that a little more. Maybe once things calm down a bit.

Again, I’m sorry.

It takes time but you will get there.

PS: You don’t need to be engaged to use this site. Half the time I ignore the wedding stuff!

Post # 27
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

View original reply
@SnowInApril:  Is it wrong that in some ways I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me?

This! ^^^ Hold onto that. That means you’re better off without him. You deserve someone who loves you and would never cheat on you.

Post # 28
Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. 🙁 But I am glad that now you know he is a piece of scum, so you won’t be wasting any more time on him. You deserve so much better than that!!!

Post # 29
Member
3774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

That is terrible.  You really will be better off without him.  This really is his loss.

Post # 31
Member
5107 posts
Bee Keeper

I am so sorry. Hugs.

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