Post # 1
This is just a follow-up to my previous post. Everything fell apart and the battle with his mother just sucked the life out of our relationship. He said he supported me and wasn’t going to subject me to his mother’s meanness but it was too much for him and he ended up turning it on me. In a fit of emotion, hurt and confusion I gave him back his ring and the gifts his family gave us at our shower.
He got on a plane back home the next day (I live in his hometown and he was visiting) and now has blamed this entire thing on me. He says I ended it and I have hurt him too much. There are a couple of details that we need to speak about and he refuses to speak to me. I called him on Saturday and he picked up the phone twice and hung up on me, then he turned his phone off. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help but regret my decision.
He was in my life for so long and I can’t imagine loving someone as purely as I do him. I feel sick to my stomach when I think of what this all really means. Not to mention the humiliation and embarassment of calling off a wedding that is less than 2 months away. I don’t understand why he won’t even talk to me or answer an e-mail or text. Just so heartbroken and devastated. How to go from about to marry someone to not willing to speak a word to them??
Post # 3
Hang in there Val… Don’t dwell on humiliation or embarassment. Just know that you are trusting your gut instinct and following your path.
Remember that no contact right now might be the best thing and stay strong!
Post # 4
That was very brave of you! Sometimes the hardest things are the best. Be strong! Maybe a break from communicating is helpful because it will allow time for the situation to soak in.
Post # 5
I’m so sorry you are hurting. Like Mrs. DG said maybe no contact right now is a good thing.
Post # 6
((hugs)) at least you know it will get better!
Post # 7
Big hugs! I am sorry you are going through this! Be strong! This may be one of those things where you both need time, or it may be that you need to stay apart–but either way, try to focus your energy somewhere else.
Post # 8
I am so sorry that you are having to go through this, but based on your previous post and this post, I am of the opinion that you did the right thing. I know you have been together for what seems like forever, but from what you have stated, it seems like a one-sided relationship with you doing all the work. I am very confident that you will find your reall “true love” when the time is right. The best thing to do, in my opinion, is to distance yourself from him and his family; ie., mother, and start the healing process.
I wish you the best of everything.
Post # 9
I know I dont know the whole story and Im so sorry youre going through this right now. Keep your head up.. you trusted your gut and that is usually right. You shouldnt have to marry someone who wont put you first. Give it time.. right now the wound is still fresh. Feel free to pm me if you need a shoulder or something..
Post # 10
You trusted your instincts and although you are hurting right now, you made the decision you needed to make. Stay strong! There is no humiliation and embarrassment when you do the right thing. Good luck 🙂
Post # 11
i’m so sorry for the pain that you are in right now. i know there’s nothing we can say to make the hurt go away, but please please please take solace in the fact that you ended it BEFORE you said I DO forever.
it will get easier and i think that you made the right choice. you should not have to live your life forever in that horrible situation between your fi and his mother.
hang in there and stay strong!!!!
Post # 12
Hi Val – as everyone else already stated, I believe you did the right thing as well! I know it was very difficult for you, but I do believe that you will find the right person when the time is right. Just hang in there and take things day by day. I know it’s hard to believe now, but it will get easier.
Post # 13
I’m not sure what to say except I’m so sorry you are going through this. Keep your chin up, you’ll make it through this.
Post # 14
I’m so sorry. Stay strong.
Post # 15
I think you just need to keep your head up and stand by your decision.
Question…if he were to call and change his mind (turn on his mother), what would you do?
Post # 16
I;m so sorry that you have to go through something so painful. i know that you can’t see it now, but you dodged a bullet that would have hit you over and over for the rest of your life. Not only is he not able to stand up to his mother- not evben on your behalf- but he also cannot accept blame or face problems.
I have friends who have relationships like this and they are so miserable. A couple of them have children and feel horribly trapped, with a bossy Mother-In-Law always interfering and a husband that,well, isn’t much of a husband, or father for htat matter.
I know that you can’t see it right now, but you will find someone who is more suitable for marriage and who will put you first, which is what you deserve. Eventually, you will be very relieved that you escaped much worse and found much better.