(Closed) It’s Over, No more wedding, No FI, Just Sadness =(

posted 12 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
1009 posts
Bumble bee

Hugs to you  You trusted your gut and did what you thought was best.  Stay strong.  It will get easier.  

Post # 18
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

As far as what to tell people, I would just say “I decided that this was not right for me”. End of story. You don’t owe anyone more than that.

 

Post # 19
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I am so sorry, just keep your head held high, and everything will work itself out for the better. ((hugs))

Post # 20
Member
8375 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m sorry to hear this. I read your other post and I think you made the right decision. I agree with menobride, keep the explanation brief and vague. Nobody needs to know your business.

Post # 21
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I know that you are blaming youself, but don’t. If he can’t be a real man  and stand up to his mother to create a new family with you, that is all on his shoulders. And his loss. If anything, you should be angry at him for wasting your time.

Post # 22
Member
8941 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m so sorry.  Please stop blaming yourself.  He is completely wrong for turning it around and blaming it on you, don’t think you are the bad person here.

Post # 23
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant

That’s terrible, I’m so sorry.  I agree with EmeraldR that he should have stood up to his mother, and you’re probably better off with someone you are absolutely sure will be in your corner.  Marriage is a partnership for life and you want to be sure that no matter what, you’ll always have each other.  It doesn’t sound like he realizes this.

A break in communication can be good–maybe in a couple of weeks, send an email to him and let him know you’re ready to talk.

Post # 24
Member
3952 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

In time, he might see the error of his ways, man up and stand up to her and do the right thing.

Don’t be surprised if this happens and he contacts you.

Just let things sit.  Either outcome (he changes or you move on forever and eventually meet the right guy who loves you and values you above all) is good and I wish you nothing but love and happiness.

Love always seems to find its way to you again, trust me on that 😉

Post # 25
Member
5323 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

The ladies have all given excellent advice that I couldn’t argue with, so I’m just offering you lots of ((HUGS)). I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling right now.

Post # 26
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Hugs!!!

Please don’t worry about what other people think or how embarrassing this is. In the long run, if it’s what’s right for you, it’s better to do it now than later. At least there won’t be a messy divorce or kids involved. You are going to be ok. He is probably hurting too, which is why he is lashing out and blaming you, so maybe just wait a few days before trying to call him again. Personally, I would only contact him if there are any loose ends to tie up, like shared furniture or bank accounts, that need resolving immediately. Otherwise it might be better to just let him know that he can contact you whenever he is ready to talk. Good luck with everything!!

Post # 27
Member
846 posts
Busy bee

I think it is best to make a clean break, don’t linger on the past.  Be strong in knowing that you made the best decision for yourself.  If you must only contact him with any loose ends like bank accounts etc -maybe through snailmail.  I totally agree with Menobride and EmeraldR.  You will heal in time, and I think you really dodged a bullet, and you will be the happier for it in the end.  Best Wishes and hugs to you. 

Post # 29
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I will be praying for you Val. Obviously he didn’t deserve you, and I’m glad that you are realizing that. Your courage should be an inspiration to others. Be well and stay strong..

Post # 30
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Dear Val

This man is critical of you and that is not the type of man who can solidify a loving foundation with you. Understand that. My ex fiance was also very critical and while there are times that your partner will not always agree with what you say or do, he should also be your number one fan and support you and undrerstand you. Be confident in this fact.

You are right. Hundreds of men are out there willing to know you and love you unconditionally.

And how dare he say you have issues? He couldn’t cut the apron strings in time so now he is saying you took the scissors and stabbed him in the back? NOT FAIR. Breathe deep and move on. You are still young. I met the love of my life only a year and a half ago. I was 36 years old. God Bless !

Post # 31
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Oh girl, you made me cry while in the office! I am so proud of you for walking away and realizing that you are worth more than what he is willing to give. The only relationship advice my mom has ever given me is “he better treat you like a queen,” and I think it’s great advice for you too. Not that whoever you are with needs to spoil you with gifts, but he should treat you like the light of his life.

I know it’s hard right now but it will get better, I promise! We are all rooting for you! This will sound strange, but in the end you will be thankful the experience of being in that relationship because it has made you realize that you deserve and want more from a man! Trust me, I know!! HUGS!!

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