(Closed) It's so hard for me to hang on waiting. I'm setting a walk date

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 1993

This might not be the answer you’re looking for, but the minute I think about setting a ‘walk’ date is the date I would walk.  I can’t imagine putting a timeframe on things and torturing myself for the rest of the time remaining.  I think the fact that you’ve had these conversations and its still not going anywhere is your answer. 

Post # 4
Member
394 posts
Helper bee

if you really believe this man is “the one”..take things into your hands..you’re a grown woman & he’s a grown man..why not propose to him? 

Post # 6
Member
339 posts
Helper bee

I realise you have reached an age where you may not want to wait, but you cannot rush things if it’s not time.  I think you should settle down and enjoy your relationship or he is finally going to propose and you are still going to be miserable.  If you really think there might be commitment issues you may want to seek some relationship counseling separately or together.  Hope this helps…

Post # 7
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You should try to refrain from talking about rings, proposals, or marriage for at least a month or two before you set a walk date. It sounds like you are really anxious to get married, which is completely understandable, but some guys hate that pressure. They end up feeling like they’re being forced to propose instead of realizing that they want to propose. 

Post # 8
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 1993

I’m sorry but if I badly wanted to get married and have children, I wouldn’t wait around for the guy I’m with to realize he wanted it, too.  You’re a fully grown adult with adult wants and desires, and you can make this decision for yourself.  I’d put myself out there and into situations where I could potentially find someone what wanted what I did, and when I wanted it.

Post # 9
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’d recommend not to set a walk date (or if you really want, keep that in your mind but don’t tell him).  As soon as the walk date arrive, just change how you behave with him.  What I mean is, be detach, go out with your friends more, treat him like he’s just other guys and just that.  He would ask why you treated him that way and that would be your time to say that you didn’t see that he really committed to you like he promised.  If he really wants to marry you like he said, I think that could bring proposal soon.  However, if he still doesn’t care, it’s time to really walk away.

Post # 10
Member
1619 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Blanche:  I fully agree.  

Post # 13
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 1993

I don’t think you should ever force someone into marrying you, or having to convince them, but if after 14 months of dating and being 46 years old… you should probably know if you’re in it to win it.

Post # 14
Member
4429 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@biochic75:  yup i sure did set a walking date with my EX after 4 1/2 years and a “promise ring” i gave it 6 months and i didn’t dnot bring engagement up to him and when i felt like we were going no where and he started to lie to me about lil things i gave him his ring and simply said i cant do this anymore i have to move on and your not ready for where i want to go! i was 34 at that time and i did not want to waste anymore time caz i wanted another child and that was more important to me then waiting for him to be ready *hugs* im so sorry your going thru this its a tough decision to make. as i always told my self when i was thinking of leaving a relationship i would say…. put up and shut up or get out! thats what it boils down to.

good luck and i hope thing work out for you. 

Post # 16
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t think I could bring myself to marry someone that I could seriously consider leaving  because they hadn’t proposed yet. 

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