(Closed) It has started… Someone invited herself to my wedding.

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

My DOC is a pistol – she said she’s standing at the door with a list, and if you’re names isn’t on it, you’re not getting in…she’s only about 5′ tall but believe me, you’re not going to mess with her! I’ve had a few people at work ask about the wedding but I’m not about to invite people I don’t want there – my father isn’t even coming.

Post # 18
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Since I got engaged, so many people have invited themselves and others have said something along the lines of “I better be invited to your wedding.” People I hardly ever speak to, or haven’t in years. It is beyond ridicculous. I never realized how tactless people can be! I would never invite myself to someone’s wedding. I usually just don’t respond. I guess they will get their answer when they aren’t invited!!

Post # 19
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am so particular not everyone knows that I am getting married for that reason. People who you have not heard from in years have a tendency to invite themselves. My Fiance doesnt like strippers so i know he would be upset if loose women were to attend. Most of guest will be military personnel we are expecting 150 to attend. So I have to make sure that I dont invite women who will feel they are at a buffet and make a fool of themselves and embarrass me. We all have friends from our past that have never grown out of their negative behavior (drink too much, loud, and always flirting). It is sad to say I have a sister like that and I cant not invite her but I wanted too. My oldest sister would be hurt so we will give her a stern talking too before and let her know her behavior will not be tolerated or she will be thrown out period.

Post # 20
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

When Fiance proposed I had only been working at my job for 2 months and my boss invited herself! I explained how (at the time) we decided to just having a small, intimate wedding with family and very close friends.   She then proceeded to ask if we were having a party afterward because she will go to that then. I gave a nice smile and explained how it’s so early in the planning process Wtf?! the wedding in my hometown and is 5 hours away from my job. I also got texts from college friends saying “better get an invite” or ” what should I wear, did you pick a date” and my personal favorite “hey! Haven’t talked in so long, congrats in your wedding, I heard its in June, I’ll send you my address on face book so you can send the invite, can’t wait to catch up!”

why do people automatically think that because you were friends 5 years ago, or just met recently that they are invited to the wedding? Especially when you try very nicely to tell them no, they still push the subject.  It is so rude and in poor taste to invite yourself to a weddinG. even sending the “hey better get an invite” text , even when joking , puts a lot of stress on a person. It’s because of this that a you can plan on a wedding of 40 people and end up with a guest list of 110…sigh.  I’ve learned to just keep planning details to myself…

People can be so….

Post # 21
Member
3201 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

People are rude. I haven’t even told anyone on Facebook about my wedding date since FH and I have chagned it a few times. But there is this girl that I was friends with in high school that I haven’t really spoken to since high school who sent me a message out of the blue several months ago asking me if she could be a bridesmaid. When I told her that I hadn’t picked my bridal party yet, she told me that she at least wanted an invite because she was newly single and weddings are the best places to pick up a guy. Yeah. She said that. 

Needless to say, I laughed about that and no, she isn’t getting an invite either. 

Post # 22
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@LiliKitty:  I’ve experienced the same thing.  People who I haven’t talked to in a long while are asking me about my wedding and fishing for invites.  What I’ve been telling people is that I’m on a very tight budget and the guest list has already been made. That I’m keeping it to family only (all my friends I’m inviting are considered family in my book =D )

Post # 23
Member
2453 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I hate this. I didn’t tell everybody I was engaged, and 99% of my friends only found out after my wedding that I got married. I basically avoided all the drama that comes with everybody knowing.

I had a home wedding reception for the rest of DH’s side of the family because we had a Destination Wedding that only 10 people were invited to. I invited a few of my friends, including a couple whose wedding I attended earlier this year out of courtesy because I was invited to theirs. Obviously, I didn’t invite a few people who were invited to and attended the other couple’s wedding. Why?

BECAUSE WE AREN’T THAT GREAT FRIENDS. That wedding reception was so awkward, for me at least, because everybody was friends with the bride and groom but not really with each other.

It seems to me as though weddings and receptions make people think that they’re suddenly your best friend for some odd reason and try to get invited to these events. One of my guy friends even went so far as to try to guilt me into inviting him to the reception because I invited a mutual guy friend who is in heavy contact with him, hence the butthurt. Another friend who wasn’t invited (nor told about the reception, and DH dislikes) asked how it went when I was chatting with her one day.

Sorry bitches, you aren’t getting me to feel bad about not inviting people who don’t bother to keep in touch with me, especially when you suddenly think we’re best friends – that has got the be the most annoying thing ever. Best part was the snarky comments at the other couple’s wedding that DH and I attended, about how we deliberately had a Destination Wedding so we wouldn’t have to invite so many people. Oh! You actually got the message that we didn’t want you there! Great! XD

Post # 24
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

This situation is where social media can really be a pain – I have not posted anything on FB about my engagement/wedding because my “friends” – with the exception of maybe 10 of them – are not invited. I don’t understand why people post details of engagement/weddings and then get pissed when people start inviting themselves or make comments they don’t like. If you don’t want to hear the snark, do yourself a favor and stay off of those sites! When I get married I’ll post a few pictures and call it a day!

 

Post # 25
Member
3584 posts
Sugar bee

@LiliKitty:  People just dont have manners! One of fiances friends (not close) gilrlfriend tried to invite herself and her kid to our destiantion wedding..the FIRST time I met her! I was like..ummm no… Like WTH!!

Post # 26
Member
2453 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@PMSJL:  so true. I didn’t even post my wedding photos on facebook and asked my guests not to do so. I made a wedding photobook to share with everyone who did want to see them and actually asked to see them to my face instead of just stalk and hit Like on Facebook.

Post # 27
Member
2314 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@LiliKitty:  Psh.  I had two people just SHOW UP that I had never met.  My Father-In-Law invited them.  My husband knew I didn’t want anybody there that I hadn’t met if they weren’t related to either of us and okayed it anyway.  I was very gracious, but I have to admit I am still a little peeved. In fact, I didn’t know they were there/coming, until they were introduced to me by my Father-In-Law in the middle of the reception.  Like, really?  MEN.

And this is SO F&CKING STUPID (and I know, how awful of me for thinking this, especially because we specifically asked for no gifts) but they just got us a card and signed it, no personal note or thank you for the invite or anything.  If I had not been personally invited by the B&G, you bet your sweet ass I would have found a better gift than just a card. (AGAIN, I know that’s really hypocritical of me…)

Post # 28
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Fortunately, I didn’t have to deal with this too much, but my best friend just got engaged recently so now she’s dealing with all of our mutual friends who weren’t invited to mine asking her constantly about being invited to her wedding. She feels really uncomfortable because she keeps getting “Congratulations, by the way can I come to the wedding? I wasn’t invited to ______ (mine)?” messages on Facebook.

Post # 29
Member
2314 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@anabell465:  Soooooo, that means that SHE owes them an invite?  WTF?

Post # 30
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@WillyNilly:  Your guess is as good as mine. I actually feel bad b/c I feel like it’s caused added stress for her right from the beginning. These are people we haven’t seen in years.

Post # 31
Member
2314 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@anabell465:  Feck ’em. Your poor friend….

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