(Closed) It has started… Someone invited herself to my wedding.

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

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@WillyNilly:  Yeah, she’s pretty outspoken + doesn’t really deal with sh/t so she’s put a few people (nicely) in their place. It’s just crazy to me the people that fish for an invite. Don’t get me wrong, I love weddings, but if I’m not that close to you I do not need to go to yours…

Post # 33
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

We have been super lucky on this front. I have had no one invite themselves, but I also don’t talk about it on facebook at all. We announced our engagement, and a few people have asked when the “big day” is, but all they offered up was congratulations. We are having a small wedding, I think we’re at 55 guests right now. I’m even hand writing in the “number of seat(s) reserved” on the RSVP, lol, that way if someone plans on bringing an extra they might see that and call so I can tell them no.

 

The only thing close to panic I’ve had over guests is when Future Mother-In-Law said we “can’t NOT invite” the gazillion cousins on their side of the family.

I realize that we are very, very lucky.

Post # 34
Member
2686 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Ugh, so rude! Your wedding is not her social hour.

Post # 35
Member
1159 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

OMG, I’ve been a lurker for a while but I had to register so I could chime in. Lol, but people have been inviting themselves to my wedding since I got engaged. Of course on facebook when I posted a picture I got a lot of “I better be invited” or “I’ll wait for my invitation in the mail…” um, no! And the worst was the daughter of an old friend of the family (who none of my family even stays in contact with). She was at a funeral that my parents attended and she heard I was engaged. She literally asked my parents at least three times if she could come to my wedding. Thankfully my dad just kept changing the subject. I don’t understand people! 

Post # 36
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Well, I married so now I get the “Why wasn’t I invited to your wedding?”  The latest one before I could answer she ask “And why wasn’t my daddy invited either?”  I asked who is your daddy?  She then told me and I was like I had no idea that’s your father.   I wanted to tell her so bad that I didn’t invite her because I have no idea what your name is so I couldn’t address the envelope!

Post # 37
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

O.o I don’t know why people do that.

Mum was telling me one of her friends is getting married in Thailand, and someone from their gym just decided to invite themselves. Mum’s friend does not like this person. Unfortunately, she didn’t ask her friend, she asked his future wife, who is very soft spoken and would never want to upset someone.. So, guess who is now attending their wedding? -.-

We did have someone invite themselves to our e-party, but he waited until the morning of to ask, so FH didn’t bother replying. He didn’t show up, thank god, there were around 10 people there who seriously dislike him.

Post # 38
Member
3172 posts
Sugar bee

This girl that I don’t even talk to anymore messaged me on FB asking if I picked out the bridesmaids dresses and to let her know so that she can get hers. She also asked if I could find her a date. I just ignored her and keep ignoring her messages. 

Post # 39
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My fiance has an old friend he hasn’t seen in years who literally sent a text saying, “I can’t believe you’re not inviting me to the wedding.” Ridiculous. Our guest list is 30 people. 

On the other end, I had planned to invite one of my closest friends in college who had previously said things like, “Oh, I really hope I get an invite” “I can’t wait to see you get married!” So I figured it was a no-brainer. When I asked her about it a few months later (when addressing my save the dates) She was very ho-hum about it, asking me when the date was, and saying she’d “try” to make it if she didn’t have anything else coming up. 

Honestly, I kind of think the latter is worse. It not only made me feel like she was doing me a favor by coming, but that my wedding was less important than whatever might randomly come up in the year? 

I decided to instead invite a friend who would actually want to be there.

Post # 40
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I haven’t had issues with any of my “friends” (don’t really have very many, so no surprise) but my fiance’s friends are crazy! People are coming out of the woodwork being like “I better be invited!” It’s like “um…what?” First of all, no. Second of all, no.

Post # 41
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

People can be so rude sometimes!

There was someone who I had on FB because she was in the social circle, but we rarely talked and I hadn’t seen her in awhile. As soon as I changed my status and made a post about it (within hours of it happening), she told me off for not telling her about it and then asked (publicly) if she was invited.

I mean, I get that it might be a joke, but it’s an awkward one and not exactly appropriate. Is it really that hard to smile and say congratulations, then wait for an invite? If you get one, you get one. If you don’t get one, then pressuring or guilting the bride into giving you one is probably an awesome way to get on her bad side.

Post # 42
Member
1217 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I haven’t actually heard it, but apparently my mum has been copping it from her relatives! We’re having a smallish wedding (paying for it ourselves) so we really have no wiggle room with the guest list. Apparently one of my aunts has been mentioning the wedding every time she sees my mum with comments like “can’t wait to be there!”. I haven’t even SEEN her for a year or so, we are not close and Mum didn’t go to her kids’ weddings.

Mum has seven brothers and sisters, they all have husbands and kids (and their kids have kids) so there is no way we can invite the entire family. Fortunately, most of them seem to realise this. I don’t know how I’d deal if they actually said that stuff to me instead of going via Mum!

Post # 43
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2014

i put it on another post but these cards might just be needed for some people!!

 

 

too rude? Smile

Post # 44
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Wow. I soooo don’t get this. I didn’t have a single person seriously do this. A couple people joked about coming but totally knew it wasn’t real (they joked about replacing my sister as maid of honor and whatnot even, lol). If somebody DID do this, I would give them an earful like no other lol. A couple people ASKED if they could bring their SOs when they weren’t invited (we eventually said yes after some seats opened up, but at first said we weren’t sure since it was a small wedding and we had never met these girls, frankly), but nobody assumed at all.

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