(Closed) its the awkward bridesmaid situation. plz help

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ok, I’ll address the real question soon, but I have to ask… 1) how do you know she doesn’t shave down there, and 2) how does that affect being a bridesmaids unless your dream wedding includes them being dressed in skimpy bikinis???

I don’t think you really need to explain it to her.  Just say that you’d like to limit the bridal party to four.  If you really want to lie rather than being upfront with her, you can say that your husband only has 4 people and you want things even, I suppose

Post # 4
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Okay, you have a lot of different things going on here, so I’m going to address them separately.

1. First the harsh part…it is absolutely none of you or your family’s business if this girl uses condoms or deodorant, nor should it matter whether or not she shaves ‘down there’ – seriously, how on earth would you all even know that, let alone give a damn? Lots of girls don’t anyways. That just totally rubs me the wrong way, this girl thinks she is your best friend and you’re going around saying nasty things about her when she has done nothing wrong. If you don’t like her at all, why even be friends with her? How mean.

2. If you don’t want someone to be your bridesmaid, then don’t ask. She’ll figure it out eventually, there is no need to make a big announcement to her that she isn’t a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

 

You don’t need a ‘good story’, you need to act like a decent person. Stop trashing your friend when all she has done is been excited for you and apparantely not shaved to your standards. I just can’t get over how judgemental your post is. Seems like you’d be doing her a favor if you just stopped being friends with her, you say she is drama but the only drama I see here is you being horrible to this girl behind her back, along with your Fiance and other friends. I realize my post is harsh and reconsidered my wording several times, but I just can’t get past the nasty way you speak about her despite the fact that you also say she is a good person at heart.

Post # 5
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

^ exactly. how does pussy shaving have anything to do with it? Only like them bald eagles!!!?

Whatever, I think you just need to lie. “My mother in law has insisted that there only be 4 becasue of how many bff’s finace has… it’s very weird but she’s paying for half the wedding so she really does have a say. I’m so sorry.” Or something to that effect.

Post # 6
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

does  not shave “down there”

bwhahaha im sorry but this is the most incredible reason i have ever read to not have someone as your BM!   outstanding!

Post # 8
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Aside from what you said about her hygenic qualities, if you really don’t want her to be a bridesmaid would you be willing to give her something else to do? I would be honest with her and let her know that you are keeping your Bridesmaid or Best Man count to four for whatever your reasons are. Then maybe you could offer to have her do a reading for the ceremony? If she considers you her best friend you might tell her that having her do a reading is something you couldn’t envision anybody else doing.

As an added note: I don’t think that her being a “mood killer” or less cleanly should affect your choice of bridesmaids. If she is a great friend and is there for you that’s all that matters. I don’t know your whole story and I’m not trying to patronize you.

I have a friend that doesn’t smell the best (she can’t really help it though) and doesn’t like to drink or go out for fun. I try to just include her in activities with my friends to the best of my ability. Sometimes it is awkward, but we get through it and it helps us to open up a bit more. She sees me as one of her best friends while I see her as only a good friend. This girl has very few friends so I try to be there for her the best that I can.

Post # 9
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

This is what I’d say: “fork ’em over… yeah, YOU. Give me my rubbers, now. Good, thanks. Now shut it.”

Post # 10
Member
1571 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Wonderstruck: I’m with you 99% of the way, but OMG it is everyone’s business when someone chooses not to wear deodorant! The closer you stand to the person, the more it becomes your business!

Post # 12
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@LMD84: Supposedly this is the professional way to let someone know they stink: “sometimes your body odor is quite noticable” (coming from human resources)

Post # 13
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@ykrainka: jesus, tell her to shut up, she wasn’t asked! She’s allowed to have her opinion but tell her you know it and she needs to drop it. Mean it when you say it!

Post # 14
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Oh wow I would totally say no way in hell to being  bridesmaid if it meant I had to have bikini pics taken! lol. The condoms thing is super weird, I would definitely tell her hey, you’re not invited for the bach party because you did that at the last one I won’t put up with that rudeness at mine. I thought you meant she doesn’t use condoms like ina  slutty way, I totally misread that haha.

Post # 16
Member
2190 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

LOL to the bee’s responses.

But to address the problem, do you really want her as a bridesmaid? “We’ve decided we don’t like her” isn’t a reason, that sounds like your friends convinced you to not like her…but if YOU honestly don’t like her, that’s a good reason. If she annoys you, just let her know that you’ve reached the max number of people in the bridal party?

The topic ‘its the awkward bridesmaid situation. plz help’ is closed to new replies.

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