(Closed) Its WAY to early ro feel this way

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2750 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You sound exactly like me!

 

In the end, (at his suggestion and my execution) to do a destination wedding at an all-inclusive resort. =)  Originally fearing we’d be payingup to $30k for a wedding, our budget is about half of that now!

Post # 4
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m a type A planner. So it’s time to get your big girl shoes on and get studying! I knew our budget way in advance, so I started a huge spreadsheet for every place I ran in to. As soon as I found five that met all financial and physical criteria for what I wanted, I presented them to Fiance. He agreed to see four of them.

You can do this for dresses as well. Just focus on one thing at a time. It’s exciting to be in the planning stage and you may want to get everything done now, but taxing yourself by seeing every venue and trying on every dress is just going to add to the stress.

Breathe and enjoy it!

Post # 7
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have experienced what you are talking about, on a slightly smaller scale. I was definitely internet-researching venues and dresses and colors before FH actually proposed. My thought was, I will know exactly what I want and it will just be so smooth and easy and I’ll be the most carefree bride in the world!

Oh, how things change in one week. Once I allowed myself to truly start “planning,” I stopped sleeping and woke up with dresses and outdoor seating and flowers in my head. I either tossed and turned for hours agonizing over every little detail (who gets cut from the guest list? do I want lace or satin on my dress? how do I tell my sister there’s no way in hell I’m letting her wear a strapless dress in my bridal party?), or just got up in the middle of the night to get on the computer for hours.

What I have found to be helpful are a few things: truly narrow down your most important expectations for the wedding. For example, my FH and I don’t really care about a cake. We will have one, but as long as it’s not some sort of hot mess and it doesn’t cost a fortune, it’s fine by us.

If your FH is not feeling like jumping in, you need to prepare yourself and him. Set up designated times to talk wedding talk as opposed to just swearing off the whole discussion until March. I forsee further frustration during your research if you don’t ask his opinion from time to time.

Use this year and a half. I am still struggling with the feeling of, “I know what I want, and so I want it all taken care of and planned RIGHT NOW.” I feel like I keep running into dead ends with venues and budget–keep looking! I have run myself in circles over the dress–I would take a break with that one if I were you. How do you know what kind of dress is appropriate until you know your surroundings?

I think you are completely normal. Take breaks. Get one of your BMs or someone to distract you from time to time. Work on your lists. Planning a wedding IS overwhelming at every level, and THAT’S OKAY. Your wedding will be lovely.

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