(Closed) I've always had a difficult family relationship…can anyone relate?

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
297 posts
Helper bee

Your brother has no right to make you agree to any “conditions”, he is manipulating you on behalf of the family. Tell him he’s not invited to the wedding and please stay away from your toxic family! Getting married is a fresh start at life and I wish you all the happiness you deserve 🙂

Post # 3
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013


artdeco:  You need to take care of yourself first and foremost. i dont think you are being unreasoanble by not wanting to visit them in their homes. It sounds like you have been through alot and i am sure your stories only touch on everythign that has happened. Its a shame you cant be closer with your family, but you need to do what is best for YOU, regardless of how your brotehr feels about it.

I have a difficult relationship with my siblings because of their life choices. Some people may not understand that and say blood comes first, but i disagree. Do what you gotta do and stay strong

Post # 4
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

artdeco:  You’re an adult, he doesn’t get to give you CONDITIONS. What the heck. I too have a family that failed to protect me from some bad situations and harmed me with their own actions both. Some relatives weren’t invited to my wedding and others only barely made the cut, based on our history.

If one of those relatives had put a single condition on their attendance I might have said no out of pure spite. That’s not the easiest thing to admit, but it’s true. I certainly wouldn’t have chased them down or agreed to anything I didn’t feel comfortable with. I’m an adult and I will not be bullied. If someone hurt me, especially if it was when I was a child, I don’t owe them a damn thing.

You are NOT in the wrong. You deserve, as does every bride and every groom, to feel happy and comfortable on your wedding day. 

What are your future inlaws like? I sadly am not that close to my family these days. 🙁 But we spend tons of time with DHs family and I love them to death and I think they like me too. So I finally have the family I wished for. 🙂 Our kids are going to be so lucky to grow up with his family.

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