(Closed) I’ve been avoiding the Bee… (Long)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@FloretteLiz: *hugs!* I’m sorry that you guys are in this position. It’s rough on both of you. I’d take a break from it for a bit (it sounds like you have) and discuss your options. Is there a way to involve your families in a small wedding? Eloping doesn’t mean you have to go far away.

One of the most fun weddings I went to was at a good friend’s childhood home (and it’s not a big or fancy home at all, it’s 5 kids in a 2 bedroom house) and out in their yard. The immediate family was at the morning wedding, they all gathered together for lunch, and a laid back afternoon reception for all friends and family was held with just relish trays, cold meat sandwiches, and punch and tea. If your Fiance really wants to avoid eloping, something simple and sweet like this may work. No DJ, no big cake costs, no rental hall, etc. They borrowed church folding tables and chairs to scatter around the yard for guests to visit.

I hope that you can come back to the bee and enjoy it again. If you need any help from the hive, you know we’ll be here! 

Post # 4
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m sorry you two are going through this. My cousin went through a very similar situation with his Fiance – they were enagged for about 6 years! Every time they started trying to plan the wedding something would happen – someone would get laid off, then my cousin developed a serious illness and didn’t have the strength to work or have a wedding (luckily he is doing much better now). What they ended up doing was having a lovely outdoor ceremony with just a few very close friends, their parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. They also included my brother and me because although we’re his cousins we’re almost like siblings. They had a lovely outdoor ceremony, then rented out a room in a nice restaurant where we had a lovely dinner and then just socialized with family. Does something like that sound appealing at all?

Post # 7
Member
1869 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@FloretteLiz:  I noticed you hadn’t been around much in a while.  I’m so sorry this happened.  It totally stinks!  Maybe he’ll be able to find a job really soon, and y’all can start saving again.  Could y’all have a ceremony or reception at your house/family member’s house?  Y’all could have something like Courtney suggested at a restaurant.  *Hugs*

Post # 9
Member
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

@FloretteLiz: I’m so sorry to hear you are going through this. I would say consider different options. If there is absolutely no way that you could manage a super budget wedding to include everyone, how bout doing an intimate ceremony now and then waiting a few years to do a bigger vow renewal. You could have something to look forward to and know that at some point you’d be able to celebrate your relationship with your extended family and friends.

Good luck to you both, I wish you the best!

Post # 11
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

aw, I’m sorry to hear this! Eloping is not so bad. Maybe someday you will be able to have a vow renewal and incorporate the traditions that you missed out on the first time around. Getting married will probably take a lot of financial stress off of the two of you, and you will have each other for support. I bet once you elope and get married, you will feel a great relief. I’m sorry you are going through this and I hope things work out for the best!

Post # 12
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Awww sorry to hear that. How much is yor budget down to? Because some bees have been able to pull off lovely weddings with very low budgets {$2000-$4000}

Post # 13
Member
1571 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m so sorry to hear about this! I was laid off myself and I know how rough it can be. I hope everything works out and you are able to have the wedding you want and deserve, whether it be large or intimate.

Post # 15
Member
1455 posts
Bumble bee

I do understand what you are going through.  SO lost his job 2 times in one year as well.  Once back in Nov of 2010 (was hired as a temp in Jan 2011) and then again when the temp job ended in Apr 2011 (and again hired as a temp to hire in Aug 2011 YAY!).  Anyway, it was really hard for me to keep his spirits up.  I just tried to be as supporitve as possible and only talk about his job loss when he brought it up.  We’re not engaged yet (although I’m hoping any day), but I will say it has delayed our plans to get engaged that’s for sure. 

I would say do what you feel is best but don’t go into significant debt for your wedding, it’s only one day after all and you have the rest of your lives to spend with each other, why start out with a bunch of stress.  Hugs to you, it’s tough I feel you!

Post # 16
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I honestly think that it would be MUCH MORE EXCITING for you to plan a SMALL, SMALLLLLLLL wedding than a bigger ‘traditional’ one.

With the small wedding, u can excuse yourself from a LOT of big ticket items by knowing that you simply do not have the funds to waste. With big weddings, sometimes you like something and go ‘ah, what the hell! Might as well take/do this’. Then you end up repenting for it later when you could’ve used that money on your house/car/education, etc.

It can be a very nerve-wrecking but thrilling experience to keep your budget EXTRA small and try to work with it. I went through it myself. I was frustrated beyond belief but a LOT of doors opened for me as well when I realized that I did not watn to pay for a tier cake. I went with a local shop making cup cakes. (Not ‘wedding’ cup cakes even!) HUGE PRICE DROP right there!

I didn’t have ANY center pieces. No favours. So another price drop.

ONLY invited CLOSE, CLOSE family. Quoted ‘budgetary concerns’. This allowed me to not have ppl whom I would never really see or don’t know as well. With big weddings sometimes you HAVE to invite certain ppl cuz your parents know them or because you are simply acquainted with them. Hard to get out of that….

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