(Closed) I’ve been hiding from everyone since I got engaged :/

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

you should be enjoying this!! and you should enjoy planning a wedding! I told Fiance if there was any stress with planning we would just elope, I really dont think a wedding should be stressful, if it is then its not worth it.  have you thought about not waiting the 2 year and just eloping now? unless you are dead set on having a wedding?

Post # 5
Member
315 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 1997

@HeyKaraoke: I am so very sorry you are already dealing with pushy and insensitive people. It is your wedding and if you can afford a Wedding Planner get one. If you can not afford a Wedding Planner. Then I would suggest you spend a few days and decide everything you and your Fiance want; and only what you want as a couple. Then map out the exact items. Use Pinterest to create the wedding of your dreams. When someone asks or tells you to do this or that, then give them the Link to you pinterest and they can see your vision and maybe realize it is YOUR wedding.

Post # 6
Member
2747 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Lol that’s EXACTLY the reason why Fiance and I decided on a destination wedding.  

Post # 7
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Try to relaxe. You have 2 years to get everything planned, and you can definately still change things. I would step back from planning for a little bit and start back up when you don’t feel so stressed about it. I would also stop talking to your Bridesmaid or Best Man about planning stuff, just let her know when things are decided or respond with “oh, that’s something to consider”.

Post # 8
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

*Big Hugs* I am sorry that all these people are ruining your engagement experience. Just take a deep breath and focus on the most important thing. You are marrying the man that you love!!! You are going to become husband and wife and take the eternal vows in front of the people who love you. Everything else is just small details. Why don’t you take some time thinking about the kind of wedding that you would like. What do you envision your wedding to be? Do you want a destination wedding with an understanding that not everyone will be able to make it? Do you want to eliminate some of the traditions, such as bridesmaids? If you decide to do it locally, why not have it on Martin Luther King’s day? That way you can still have the Sunday rates but many people will be off the following day. Think about what would make you happy and then explain your decisions to people around you. Dont worry so much about everyone else, this is your day. You might be surprised by how well they might take it, your fi’s best friend’s wife might be only trying to help.

Post # 9
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

I have a year and a half until our big party and am allready stressed too so I hear you. If a wedding is important to your FIs family than it is something that should probably be done, but there is no reason to make it something that you don’t want. What about just imediate family and bestest friends? Would your sisters be crushed if there was no bridal party so they are not left out becuase everyone is left out?

Don’t worry about other people, there is a lot of great support on this board, plan what you want, do what makes you and your Fiance happy and everything else will just fall in to place

Post # 10
Member
46612 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Randy from SYTTD was in vancouver a couple of weeks ago. The words he said were: “If you are mature enough to get married, you need to be mature enough to have the wedding you want.”

You can make a choice to plan the wedding that you and your Fiance want and simply let other people’s comments slide off like water off a duck’s back.

We can’t control other people’s behavior, but we can control our response.

Post # 11
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee

When people make comments, say “I’ll keep that in mind.”  Then do what you want.  jlies1949 is spot on. Congratulations and best wishes.

Post # 13
Member
9482 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Forget what everyone wants and their expectations.  It’s your and your fiance’s big day.  Not their’s.  All of that will disappear once the day has arrived.  They’re just being ridiculous.  You have plenty of time.

Post # 14
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I am in the same position as you heykaraoke! My main concern was bridal party/sunday wedding.

So…. we decided to invite only 15 people to the actual wedding day which has dropped the stress level way down and those people who we invited and are really close to don’t mind that it’s a Sunday because they want to be there.

We are having our wedding, going away on honeymoon, then having a huge party so everyone can come and dance and have fun.

As soon as we decided this was what we are doing i’m really enjoying my engagement.

Both of the families took a while to get used to the idea but then came round to it being a nice idea.

I really hope you get to enjoy the time planning and being engaged

 

xx

Post # 15
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

totally agree with mrsboyd2b- i had same problems and am doing something similar…people get over excited but with so much time to go i would recommend saying that you are just enjoying being engaged for the time being. this will give you both time to discuss what you want and i even found that as we decided and started booking i felt much better. also once the initial hype had stopped people left us to it and by the time they asked again we had already made all of the decisions ourselves so now just reply with ‘thats sorted’ dont be pushed into anything its your day!as it all comes together you will be more relaxed and enjoy it ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 16
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Oh dear… *big hugs* I’m so sorry that you have to deal with all of this. 

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