- 7 years ago
Megan and I have been friends for about 2 years. She has helped me move, taken care of my kitty when i’m away. I’ve helped her with her cats on a couple of occasions, dropped things at the drop of the hat to listen to her cry, made her dinner on several occasions, …point is, we did things for each other. Friends.
She asked me to be in her wedding which is next April. No costs were discussed, i had been in 8 weddings so far so i knew of the general idea of what it would cost. Immediately we started the forward motion of buying dresses, making favors, ect….She also wanted my son in the wedding as a ring bearer.
When i got the text “Hey everyone, I bought every one jewelry to wear at the wedding, $30, so you can just pay me the next time you see me”, i got a little uncomfortable. The wedding was still 7 months away and I just wanted to be sure of what i needed to save up for this, I had two of us in the party and was thinking i’d like to plan for any expenses “expected” of me, since i’d never been required to buy jewelry before.
So i called her, i explained and just asked for a heads up on what she was expecting, i didn’t like getting texts that said i “owed” her, it made me feel a bit like a walking ATM machine. I did this politely, calmly. I got responses like “What? You didn’t think i was going to have you wear jewelry?!” and ” I wish i had known this before you bought the dress, now how am i going to find someone else?!” and “You don’t even appreciate that i bought your pizza the other night!”…totally missing my point.
My phone battery died and that’s the last time we talked because she will not talk to me. Meanwhile she has enlisted her fiance to be the messenger . He told me: “we’d like to have the dress back because we are worried that this will come between us and we love you and want you and your son to come to the wedding but we don’t want you to go broke, there are alot of other expenses that you will be responsible for, ie. hair, makeup $60, spray tan, bacelorette party, and we have made the decision to take you out of the wedding party.”…oohh-kaay. I could afford it, i just wanted to know what we were expected to pay for, which was obviously more than i was used to. We were “required” to pay for makeup, hair, spray tan, matching jewelry shoes and dress. at this time since Megan wouldn’t talk to me I figured it was more than that of why she was angry with me, although i couldn’t really figure out why. Her fiance told me not to call her, that she will call me when she is ready to talk to me. when the fiance picked up the dress the next day, he was going to give me money for it without me asking. I refused, said Megan is always strapped for money, just take the dress and have the gift of the cost of the dress $150 to pay one of her bills or something. He thanked me and left.
Five weeks later, not a word. I have called 3 or 4 times, texted, stopped by their house when they were obviously home and they wouldn’t even answer the door. This angered me. I had just tried to be nice throughout this whole thing and i was being treated like a was a crazy. So i did something i guess i shouldn’t have: I asked for the money for my dress. The next day, the Fiance showed up with the dress, handed it to me and left without a word.
I left a final message that said if you don’t call me back i guess i’m going to assume we’re not friends. I left one final text that said, that this is a perfectly good friendship being thrown away and that i’m very hurt by her not talking to me, that i’m not sure why she’s treating me like this. That i am happy to bring my son to be the ring bearer, i will pay for his tux and everything and then quietly leave after the ceremony. “Hope you’re well. Merry Christmas”
She texted me back saying “You just don’t get it do you”. that i am rude and that we will never be friends again. Stop calling, texting and stopping by. That she was about to call me after the 3rd week but because i didn’t listen to the fiance’s advice of don’t call her, and now is not going to call.
My question is:
What am i missing here. You can be blunt with me. I considered her a good friend. Does wedding planning stress out people so much that they do this kinda thing? or am i really in the wrong here.
P.S. Megan’s mom and dad are paying for the entire wedding, every drop.