(Closed) I’ve been unfaithful to my husband……

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
1356 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@now6ivedoneit: um, I would say the flip side is more like, how would you like it if he’d been doing this to you?

Post # 18
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

wow…. just wow.

Post # 19
Member
10285 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

This has got to be a troll post. No-one in their right mind would cheat on someone for 8 years, refuse to come clean and WILLINGLY try to have a child. 

Post # 20
Member
1356 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@UpstateCait: I try to give benefit of the doubt but I was thinking the same thing. I’ve got to say, I know everyone’s different, but if I made a back-up anonymous acct, it wouldn’t be specified to the problem..in case I wanted to use it for another “secret” questions. that always strikes me as suspicious.

Post # 21
Member
1543 posts
Bumble bee

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@UpstateCait: And that’s why I flagged it w/o even bothering to comment. Hate it for her if this is real and she’s not a troll, but c’mon, seriously. 

Post # 22
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee

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@UpstateCait: i sure hope so. the profile fits though, so they would have to make it just for this post. either way this post is pissing me off

Post # 23
Member
10285 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@sorrycharlie
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@Wonderwoman217: &
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@hellopurple:Lets just hope that we’re right because if we’re not, thats like a whole new level of dysfunction. 

Post # 24
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

I am sorry that your marital life is in doldrums. From the contents of your post, I gather that you are deeply distured by your actions.  The choices you made seem to be unsactioned by your husband (unless you have a prior agreement with him). Your choices indicates dissatisfaction (and lack of) both emotional and physical bonding with your husband.  Itimacy in a marriage is ingrained in trust. And love cements mutual trust in a marital union.  You claim unflailing love for your husband. However, infidelity is not a vision of love and trust.

If you are stuggling with comprehending the gravity of the situation, please consider meeting with a therapist, prior to disclosing details to your husband, to discuss your issues for being unfaithful.  Under the veil of infidelitylies ululating unhappiness within yourself. You owe it yourself and to your spouse to introspect your behavioral choices. I urge you to reconsider having children prior to disclosing the truth to your husband. Having a child will not miraculously ameliorate If both parties are agreeable, there is a possibility that your marriage will survive this storm. You may also need to undergo marriage counseling if you and your husband are dedicated to making this relationship work. It is incredible what a relationship can endure! EDIT: People make grave mistakes but sometimes life permits second chances; but there are no guarantees. As an adult, you are ultimately responsible for your actions. I wish you luck in your journey.

Post # 26
Member
10285 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@MOHme: I don’t necessarilly agree that the OP feels distrubed by her actions. I actually didn’t get that vibe from her post at all. I also have to disagree with “People make grave mistakes but life permits second chances.

Post # 27
Member
10285 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

…continued from my last post (it was eaten!).

 I also have to disagree with “People make grave mistakes but life permits second chances.” in the OPs case. Cheating on ones husband for 8 years is hardly a mistake. It’s more like a punch in the face of disrespect. 

Post # 28
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Your husband looooves you so much but you aren’t the person he thinks you are.   If you were honest and he got a glimpse of who you really are, he would run.   I’m guessing that’s why you are not going to come clean.  You know you will lose this lifestyle.

I hope he find out about it soon.  Life is to short for someone to be married to someone with a double life.

Also, you may think you are being safe, but HPV and herpes can spread with no signs while you’re intimate, and cause permanent issues for both of you.   Also, some STIs take a few weeks before they show up during testing, HIV can take a few months.   Hep B is a much bigger risk than HPV.

Post # 29
Member
10363 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

The high volume of these types of posts from “annonymous” users lately really makes me think that they are all trolls. Don’t feed them….

Post # 30
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

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@now6ivedoneit: 

It is not the number of times you have committed infidelity. You may love your husband. But it is not based on a healthy foundation wherein lust overcomes love. Being emotionally or physically unfaithful to your spouse is injustice to their soul. He is an unwitting victim of acts that do not define the vows professed when sealing a marriage.

Also, my previous post has muddled sentences – some of them are disjoined. I urge you to reconsider having children prior to disclosing the truth to your husband. Having a child will not miraculously ameliorate your life and marriage. 

Post # 31
Member
450 posts
Helper bee

@now6ivedoneit: I have to be brutally honest here…if this is a legitimate post, then I’m truly disgusted.  Don’t insult us by saying that you love your husband–because you don’t, simple as that. And after all the years of cheating, NOW you want advice? Bottom line, women like you never stop cheating, and it’s so sad that you’ll never get to experience a true loving relationship without ruining it.  That’s all I’ve got for you.

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