(Closed) I’ve been unfaithful to my husband……

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 62
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Ok so this is what I think: You want to have your cake and eat it too. It sounds to me like your husband is your best friend. You care deeply about him, but the intimacy is lacking. This to me sounds like best friend, not husband, territory. To me, intimacy is what separates friends from spouses. So you want to keep your best friend and also have a hot sex life.The issue with this is the whole “marriage” part.

The excuses you use to justify cheating are the same excuses you hear from men all the time, too. Like “he’s overweight”, “I’m not that attracted to him anymore” etc. I don’t really think these reasons give you the right to lie and act deceitfully over and over again. While I don’t think you should stay in a relationship if you dont fully and intimately love your husband, I dont think any of us bees telling you to come clean or divorce him are going to change your behavior unless that is deep down what you believe you should do. Someone said earlier things probably arent going to change unless OP is forced to come clean or is caught lying.

Bottom line here is, there is no reason good enough to justify cheating, IMO and even though you think you have a pretty good arrangement, the lies and deceit will catch up with you eventually.

Post # 63
1136 posts
Bumble bee

please tell me this is a troll.

Post # 64
1746 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m not going to go down the judgmental path and call you a skank in not so many words.

I do think you have a sex addiction at the very least. Maybe some deep and dark secets that have disconnected you from caring about consequences or potential dangers.

I hope you get the help you need. Eventually you will have to disclose this to your husband. If you are very sick, and you do love eachother, they may be hope for you, but it is a long road ahead. Good luck.

Post # 65
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Don’t bring a child into this like you said you are trying to do. You are completely selfish. You say you love him and would do anything for him, anything except stop cheating on him you mean? It doesn’t work that way. When you commit to someone you commit to THEM and you stick it out. You don’t just do it when its convenient for you. There are plenty of ways to spice up a relationship ( I know I used to sell Pure Romance and have coached plenty of people on it). You should have never married him since you were cheating BEFORE you even got married. You have not been honest with anyone (which is why counseling is probably not helping, for that to help you have to be honest). Your husband deserves more than being second rate to a guy you met in a bar. Tell him and expect it to be over

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