(Closed) I’ve been venue robbed…

posted 12 years ago in Venue
Post # 3
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2021 - Hotel Vitale

I promise there is another venue out there for you. But at the same time, I wouldn’t feel too bad if you booked the same venue. I am sure that you will both decorate it totally differently. Have you asked your friend about her decision? You could tell her that it’s so great that you two are going to get married at the same place.

Where do you live? Maybe ask the local boards for venue selections and you can find something better? 

Post # 4
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

If you love it, then keep it.  Just be prepared that you might run into similar things in the future- color schemes, etc.

Post # 5
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Aren’t you getting married first?  I think you should just keep it.  Be positive!  At least you can help her out after you’re done with your wedding.

Post # 6
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

i think you should just keep it. you found the venue and loved it. also, since your wedding is first i don’t think it’s such a big deal.  if she gets mad at you for taking the same venue just tell her that you have always wanted your wedding there and gently remind her that you’re the one who found it first.

Post # 7
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

Because you had the idea first, and because you shared it, I would go ahead with the venue.  If she mentions something about it, be honest: "Oh!  Remember I told you about this venue before you were engaged?  We’ve been planning to marry there since then!"  It was your idea, so go for it.  You’re getting married first anyway, so if anything she’ll look like the copycat she is.

PS-This is a little like Bride Wars, have you seen it?  LOL

Post # 8
30 posts
  • Wedding: May 2009

If you love your venue, you should not be deterred from having the wedding of your dreams there, no matter if your friend booked it first.  Every wedding is unique in its design and taste so don’t worry about it and make the most out of your experience and make your wedding shine!

 Plus, they say imitation is a form of flattery!!

Post # 9
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Wow, previous posters are being really nice about this, I would be furious.  I swear that I am not a drama queen, but I would have a really hard time getting over this.  Do I understand this?  You picked venue, your friend books it and doesn’t tell you until after she books it?  No discussions?  Wrong.

Post # 10
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Did she book it on your wedding date?  If not, then I would be flattered that she loved your venue enough to book it for her wedding; especially since her wedding is after yours and it will be obvious that she was inspired by you!

Post # 12
2765 posts
Sugar bee

Maybe she forgot you mentioned it?  That happens to me a lot… I’ll mention an idea to a friend and then later they’ll forget that I mentioned it.  I don’t really share ideas nearly as much any more, cuz of this very issue!

Post # 14
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

If your wedding is in October, I say you go for it. Not only can you pull out all the stops with gorgeous fall themed centerpieces and colors, but you also have crisp, autumn weather and scenery on your side.

If you’re in love with this venue go for it. If she booked for February 2010 then honestly, she’ll look like a venue thief to the majority of the guests.

Also, she wouldn’t possibly have a similar wedding to you because her season’s off and she’d come off looking like a copy cat.  On top of this, who’s to say she booked the same room/time of day? 

Go for it. Life is short and you’re only getting married once. If you’re this in love with it, I say do it. 

Post # 15
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

She hasn’t even told you?  One thing to think about when deciding if you want to also have your wedding there, is are you going to be OK  with it when everyone compares your wedding with hers (which will happen no matter what because you are getting married so close to each other, but it will be worse if you have your weddings in the same place)?  I would expect that to go on the entire night of the reception and beyond.

Post # 16
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2021 - The Desmond Hotel in Malvern, PA

I also say book it, if it’s the venue you really love.  She hasn’t told you she booked it for her own wedding, so technically you may not even know that it’s also her venue!  You shouldn’t miss out on the venue you really want just because she swooped in.  And if she gets mad about it, honestly she has no right to because you told her that it’s where you wanted your reception. 

If she tends to be a copycat kind of friend, though, I would be prepared for her to "borrow" more of your wedding ideas for her own wedding, since yours will be occuring 4 months before hers.  If you’re not okay with that, maybe it’s all worth confronting her about.

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