Post # 1
I’m not even two weeks into this and I already have a minor dilemma…
About a year ago, I found the most incredible venue nearby that I completely fell in love with. It had everything I was looking for and was in my price range. Naturally, I was excited and told my two best friends about it.
Fast forward a little bit….one of my best friends got engaged right around the same time I did. We have all known for a long time that she and her fiance were planning on getting married February 2010, and my fiance and I were looking at October 2009. Well, before I even had the chance, my friend booked my venue. I was completely shocked – 1. because we have completely different tastes, and 2. I really didn’t think my friend would do something like that.
I can’t help but feel a little jipped, a little hurt…and kind of weird about the whole thing. We grew up together, so we know all the same people. I don’t want to be the one seen as the venue thief. So, I keep going back in forth about whether or not that is still where I want to have our wedding.
I’m trying to keep a good perspective on it all, because when all is said and done all that really matters is that we’re married and are starting our marriage off on the right foot.
Any thoughts or advice?
P.S. I have learned my lesson and won’t be sharing any more details with her 🙂
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2020 - Hotel Vitale
I promise there is another venue out there for you. But at the same time, I wouldn’t feel too bad if you booked the same venue. I am sure that you will both decorate it totally differently. Have you asked your friend about her decision? You could tell her that it’s so great that you two are going to get married at the same place.
Where do you live? Maybe ask the local boards for venue selections and you can find something better?
Post # 4
If you love it, then keep it. Just be prepared that you might run into similar things in the future- color schemes, etc.
Post # 5
Aren’t you getting married first? I think you should just keep it. Be positive! At least you can help her out after you’re done with your wedding.
Post # 6
i think you should just keep it. you found the venue and loved it. also, since your wedding is first i don’t think it’s such a big deal. if she gets mad at you for taking the same venue just tell her that you have always wanted your wedding there and gently remind her that you’re the one who found it first.
Post # 7
Because you had the idea first, and because you shared it, I would go ahead with the venue. If she mentions something about it, be honest: "Oh! Remember I told you about this venue before you were engaged? We’ve been planning to marry there since then!" It was your idea, so go for it. You’re getting married first anyway, so if anything she’ll look like the copycat she is.
PS-This is a little like Bride Wars, have you seen it? LOL
Post # 8
If you love your venue, you should not be deterred from having the wedding of your dreams there, no matter if your friend booked it first. Every wedding is unique in its design and taste so don’t worry about it and make the most out of your experience and make your wedding shine!
Plus, they say imitation is a form of flattery!!
Post # 9
Wow, previous posters are being really nice about this, I would be furious. I swear that I am not a drama queen, but I would have a really hard time getting over this. Do I understand this? You picked venue, your friend books it and doesn’t tell you until after she books it? No discussions? Wrong.
Post # 10
Did she book it on your wedding date? If not, then I would be flattered that she loved your venue enough to book it for her wedding; especially since her wedding is after yours and it will be obvious that she was inspired by you!
Post # 11
Niki – she still hasn’t even told me is the thing. She told me she booked the venue, but hasn’t told me which one. However, her and her parents have told everyone else in the world where it is.
MightySapphire – I haven’t seen it, but it’s exactly what I’m trying to avoid. haha 🙂
Post # 12
Maybe she forgot you mentioned it? That happens to me a lot… I’ll mention an idea to a friend and then later they’ll forget that I mentioned it. I don’t really share ideas nearly as much any more, cuz of this very issue!
Post # 13
@littlemiss – have you already booked this venue?
Post # 14
If your wedding is in October, I say you go for it. Not only can you pull out all the stops with gorgeous fall themed centerpieces and colors, but you also have crisp, autumn weather and scenery on your side.
If you’re in love with this venue go for it. If she booked for February 2010 then honestly, she’ll look like a venue thief to the majority of the guests.
Also, she wouldn’t possibly have a similar wedding to you because her season’s off and she’d come off looking like a copy cat. On top of this, who’s to say she booked the same room/time of day?
Go for it. Life is short and you’re only getting married once. If you’re this in love with it, I say do it.
Post # 15
She hasn’t even told you? One thing to think about when deciding if you want to also have your wedding there, is are you going to be OK with it when everyone compares your wedding with hers (which will happen no matter what because you are getting married so close to each other, but it will be worse if you have your weddings in the same place)? I would expect that to go on the entire night of the reception and beyond.
Post # 16
- Wedding: September 2020 - The Desmond Hotel in Malvern, PA
I also say book it, if it’s the venue you really love. She hasn’t told you she booked it for her own wedding, so technically you may not even know that it’s also her venue! You shouldn’t miss out on the venue you really want just because she swooped in. And if she gets mad about it, honestly she has no right to because you told her that it’s where you wanted your reception.
If she tends to be a copycat kind of friend, though, I would be prepared for her to "borrow" more of your wedding ideas for her own wedding, since yours will be occuring 4 months before hers. If you’re not okay with that, maybe it’s all worth confronting her about.