(Closed) I’ve been waiting so long that…

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee

Have you discussed with your SO how long you expect to be engaged before you get married?  Does he also know that you would be ok with going to the courthouse?  Maybe part of the reason he’s waiting to propose is because he thinks you want a big wedding, and he knows that’s not really possible right now.

I’ve always wanted a smaller wedding, but SO actually wants a bigger wedding.  Talking about it is key.  You just want to be on the same page.

Post # 5
Member
429 posts
Helper bee

Trust me i know how you feel. All i can say is maybe you can ask him to get you a less expensive ring so he can propose sooner? 

 

goodluck and hang in there xoxox

Post # 6
Member
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I commend you for being so patient! IF I had to wait 7 years and my SO was supporting his parents, I think I would pay for my own ring!!! Sad, I know. Haha. But it is OUR money after all, so I wouldn’t be opposed to it if it gets us there quicker.

And I am like you, I do not need a huge wedding. I think I could elope. It is he who wants the lavish destination wedding with all of his family. I think reality will hit him when we see the cost and I can talk him into eloping.

We’ve only been together a little over 3 years, and if I don’t have a ring before we reach 3, I am out! 

 

Post # 7
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Good girl!  I don’t know what I would think after 3 years must less 7 years!  I would have knocked him out and carried him to the courthouse HAHA. 

I think you have an AWESOME guy for him wanting to help his parents like that, what a sweetie for sure!  I think it’s also great that he wants to make everything “right” before he proposes to you.  If you really think that you can have a small wedding (at this point, I understand… everything is SO expensive!) I say discuss it more and go for it.  Do you live together now?  You might as well make it official;)  Good luck and keep us posted! 🙂  

Post # 8
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think I am actually getting to that point of not caring about the wedding.. I just want the progress!

Maybe thats what triggers a guy to propose.. when the girlfriend seems to lose interest..? Haha – migggghttt work!

Post # 9
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

Whats the hurry? Is getting married going to change your relationship in any way? If it is then sure go and elope so that you can move out or do whatever you are waiting to do, if its not then just wait till everything is in order. A few extra years isn’t a big deal when you look at the bigger picture. Are you going to regret eloping in a few years when you are now able to afford the wedding you always wanted? Just saying.

I will be with my Fiance 7 years when we get married next year, we were highschool sweethearts too and I would have been more then fine waiting several more years before he proposed.

Post # 10
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I am in the exact same position. I have been with my fiance for 7 years, who proposed in October, but similarly just to make it ‘official’. We have known for a few years that we wanted to get married but we were still a little young (we are both 22 now). It has got to the same point now though after looking at how much it would cost us, that I just feel like I’d rather scrap all the planning, saving, worrying about people getting upset because they don’t have an invite and just doing something very private!

After 7 years and having been together from the age of 15, I just want more than anything to be married, not to have a big wedding, but to be husband and wife. I am thinking about the possibility of getting married on holiday, although I am quite traditional and would like a church wedding. It’s tricky when you have a very large family! I don’t want to spend a ridiculous amount of money on one day, I’d rather spend it on the honeymoon! I don’t mind waiting up to 2 yrs to get married, but any longer than that seems a very long time!

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