Post # 1
I think I might be getting too ahead of myself and I’m not sure where all of this has come from, is this normal?
Background: I’ve been with my SO for 5 years, I am 23 and he is 24. During that time we have both lived together and had a LDR. Now that our careers are sorted we will hopefully be getting our own place together this year, that’s exciting enough right?
Only since xmas I’ve decided I am ready to get married (or engaged to be married really, I’m not ready for a wedding tomorrow!) and I’ve begun to think about it more and more. Prior to this I was completely against the idea because I felt too young and just not ready. But now I am obsessed!! Mother doesn’t help, she is just as excited by the idea (has been for a few years) and we are secretly stashing a small collection of bridal magazines and have been googling dresses and venues and now I have practically planned the big things in my head!!!
Help! Why am I doing this and how can I get myself to chill out a bit? I’m worried all the time that my lovely SO will discover my little secret and I don’t want to puit any pressure on him. Has anyone else felt/acted like this when they knew a proposal wasn’t imminent?
P.S. please don’t suggest I avoid coming on here as I love reading all your exciting stories 🙂 x
Post # 3
I know a proposal is at least 4 months away, but realistically, probably won’t be for another year or two. I’m fine with that (after a very angsty period!) but I still can’t stop daydreaming!
If you let me know the answer to this, I’m sure we could become rich giving out tips!
Post # 4
I think it’s great that you’re already getting ideas in your head about what you want, means less stress down the line! to chill out maybe spend time with friends, developing other hobbies, etc. I am not too sure, I can’t get wedding stuff out of my head either! I suggest at some point you do talk to your SO about where you guys sit with marriage, whether you are on the same page, just so you know a general idea of a timeline 🙂 You have been together so long, (and congrats on the new house!) that I think you probably will get engaged sometime soon 🙂
I have a different situation, but the wedding wait is probably similar. For me the engagement will be coming very soon but we won’t be getting married for at least 3-4 years, due to me having to finish my degree in a couple of years and wanting to live together for a year or two before getting married, but I can’t stop dreaming!
Post # 5
I’m not engaged yet, but I’ve pretty much planned almost everything (even so far as to two different weddings based on whether we decide on August or September). Granted we talk about it a lot but there is nothing wrong with planning. Waiting goes in phases- sometimes it’s relaxing, sometimes it’s stressful, sometimes I want to shake SO and be like just propooooooooose!
anyway you aren’t alone, and being here gives me someplace to talk and plan without driving SO crazy with bringing it up every day
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016
I’ve been waiting about a year for a proposal and I find that wedding fever comes in waves 😉 I find that saving inspiration on my computer and finding some kind of hobby to pass the time helps. I hate the antsy stages of waiting, during those periods I try to blog about wedding stuff (or come on here) to avoid nagging my SO haha
Post # 7
This sounds almost EXACTLY like my situation!!
Post # 8
Honestly, I would say at this point in the relationship you might want to have some kind of discussion with him on what you want for your future. It’s possible to have a great surprise proposal AND be 100% on the same page with one another that you want to get married. You could end up totally surprised to learn that he’s ready for marriage, too.
Post # 9
Number one thing you need to do is talk to him. Tell him what you have been thinking about and that you do not need a proposal today. If he sees you guys at the alter someday then now he will know you are thinking about it. Set out time to have serious discussions (not during his down time!) to talk about important things such as finances (are you savers or spenders?), kids (how to raise them), and what you expect of each other. You don’t need to go through everything in one sitting, maybe make a weekly sit down dinner where you discuss this things.
Once he knows that you are thinking about getting married tell him no pressure, but instead of bothering you with wedding talk 24/7 I’m just gonna obsess about this over in my own little corner lol. Its so much better to obsess about it when you’re feeling it than to opress it. It will save you so much frustration. The worst thing you could do is not say anything and seethe inside about it. They aren’t mind readers!
Post # 10
Thank you for all your lovely advice and reassurances!
We had The Chat a little while ago and he said he saw us married with kids by the time we were 28 which really freaked me out at the time but now not so much. I’m pretty sure he’s been more into the whole marriage thing a lot longer than me! I was just amazed at the speed wedding fever took hold, one minute I was happily bumbling along and next thing I’m a non-bride bridezilla! Lol!
Post # 11
Haha I’m so glad it’s not just me! What do you do?!?!
Post # 12
It would take a lot to explain, so I do suggest looking at my previously started threads.. but right now, I’m just trying to not bring it up (we sort of had a huge fight/discussion about expectations) and trust him to follow his promises. Not easy! I have been “waiting” since February, but SERIOUSLY WAITING like, upset about it not happening yet, since Thanksgiving.