I've changed my mind!

posted 5 months ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
573 posts
Busy bee

Not sure if this is what you meant but I never imagined myself being a “marriage” person until I met my SO and now I would love to be married to him and can’t wait until we can finally arrange for that to happen. 

Post # 3
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

When I met my fiance’ he had never been married and I was divorced. We both told each other that we never wanted to get married. After about a 6 months we would talk about marriage in a joking manner. He would always call me Mrs. Smith. We would laugh about it. Than it would be more of a serious conversation. And low and behold he proposed on a beautiful beach in South Carolina. And we are planning our big day for Sept 7th. I always say never say never. It’s beautiful what love can do to two people. 

Post # 4
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

After I got a divorce in 2013, I didn’t think I’d get married again but I wasn’t too concerned about it either. When my SO (now FH) and I bought our house and moved in together I started feeling similar to OP. We had a conversation about it and he agreed that he wanted to get married too. Now we are! 

Totally normal! Marriage isn’t for everyone but once you have the right partner, it makes the choice that much easier. 

Post # 5
Member
10041 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Tell him, maybe he feels the same way!

Post # 6
Member
3031 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

Time for an open conversation with him.

I’ve never been married before, but before I met my fiance I wasn’t sure I cared whether I ever got married or not, since I don’t want kids and didn’t really see the point in it. 

Then I met him and before we’d even been together a year I was absolutely sure I wanted to marry him.

People change and circumstances change – nothing wrong with that!

Post # 7
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Definitely have the chat with him! 

Before i met my fiance i never wanted to get married, i was honestly so against marriage i just wouldn’t ever entertain the thought. I said the only way id get married was if it was in Vegas conducted by a drag queen! 

After meeting him, and very soon after, i came to the realization that this was the man i wanted to grow old with, and i wanted him to be the father of my children, and it just all changed. Its mad, and i wish i could explain why, but i guess its the universes way of telling you that theyre the right one! 

Post # 8
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee

Hella never thought I would get married again and here I am….on a wedding forum….on the waiting list…. I mean, what the hell?! hahaha  

But yep…. I guess with the right person, things can change…. 

Post # 9
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee

I was always in the mindset that I would never get married. I was with my son’s father for 17 years, and we never married, as neither of us wanted to. He was not a good person, but I stayed for my son.

 

When I began dating my guy, my stance on marraige did not change, even though I knew early on he was a man who would one day like to be married. Eventually, I feel head-over-heels for him, and even though my initial shift in views was unhealthy (I thought to myself that I could “do” marriage “for him”), eventually, I realized I wanted to do it for us. On the rare occasion I’d think about a wedding with my ex, all I thought about was how much fun a reception would be – so superficial. Now, when I think of marrying my guy, I think about walking down the aisle to him and officially becoming a family. All the fun details are just so secondary to that. 

Post # 11
Member
1203 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve been married twice before so i didn’t want to get married again because I was so embarrassed about a 3rd marriage!  But enter my SO, who was never married and actually pretty sure he didn’t need to be.  Well after I fell In Love with him we started talking about it and he got to the place of “I’d do anything to make you happy, including getting married”.  Later I got to a point where I thought I’d be fine with eternal cohabitation, but then he was disappointed because now he want to get married haha!  So while im still a little embarrassed about the 3rd marriage, I’m very excited to be married to him eventually. We plan on official engagement in 2019.  I knowntechnically were probably already engaged but we want to do it up right!

addendum-

first marriage: he left me for a 19 y.o. Waitress at his work.  While I was 9 months pregnant with baby # 3 (6 years married)

second: maybe might have been a rebound, he’s a nice man with a big heart but so irresponsible.  (6 years married) we are still friends now as we have a child together as well.

Post # 13
Member
2858 posts
Sugar bee

charlotte74 :  You might want to reconsider this relationship… It is not your mission to mend what is “broken” or to convince him about how lovely marriage could be. Also, please do not fall into the trap of convincing yourself that marriage, after all, is really not that important to you in order to stay with  him.

Post # 14
Member
543 posts
Busy bee

I’d take that as a cue to move on. Just because you changed your mind on a major life decision doesn’t mean that he has to. 

Life is unpredictable and it’s okay that you changed your mind. But it sounds like you’re not going to change his mind  no matter what you do and you should respect his wishes. Good luck OP

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