(Closed) I've decided to leave my fiance. Need support.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
2119 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@anonbee3333: Big hugs to you! When I was just a few years younger than you’re now I was in a relationship with a guy that was depressed as well – I tried SO hard to make it work, to make HIM work… but in the end there was nothing more I could do but walk out. You have to look after yourself, and I think you’re doing the absolute right thing by walking away in this situation. You have so much more to see, experience and learn – don’t tie yourself down with a man that doesn’t know for sure that you’re the most amazing thing on earth.

Post # 33
2563 posts
Sugar bee

@anonbee3333:  wow. You can tell you have really put thought and effort into this. I think you are making the right choice not going through with the wedding.

I would suggest just postponing the wedding and working on yourselves (but it kinda sounds like thats what u have been doing for the past 6 months) but maybe that “pressure” of the wedding coming up was hindering his progress as well. And who is to say he will ever come around? You don’t want to spend more time trying to make someone love you the way they use to.

I think you both have your own issues to work on and learn to love yourself (sounds like your already taking some great steps!) Maybe in time he can get better (i hope he seeks therapy)

Post # 34
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I didn’t read every single post but I think you should give it to him now.  I understand that you’re trying not to put a cloud over the other wedding but if I were him, I would be very hurt that you knew this whole time but didn’t tell (even if you have noble reasons)- the time since you first decided would be false.  

Aside from that, good for you for making a difficult decision and choosing yourself.  

Post # 35
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@anonbee3333:  I have been there. I promise you are going to find someone who can’t wait to marry you, just like several other bees have said! I know it can be so heartbreaking, especially when you have been trying so hard. You are a blessing in your FI’s life, and you will move on from this relationship and find someone who loves you without a doubt. A million hugs!!

Post # 36
62 posts
Worker bee

When I started dating my ex, he wasn’t on meds or in therapy for his depression. Once he started them, I realized I expected more of a difference, but they don’t change the core of a person’s personality.

I’m not here to say it can’t work or get better. I’d been living with him a while and was scared to break up with him in fear of how he’d handle it, but I knew I wasn’t happy anymore and had to put myself first. Like some PP’s said, there’s only so much you can do for someone else! I learned how to rely on myself going through all of that, and that’s something my SO I’m with now respects.

If you feel some sense of relief thinking about ending it, that may be the best answer you can get. We’re here for you either way!

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