(Closed) I’ve gotten secretly married and I need advice

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

Ooh… ouch. Do you know what she has to say? Maybe she can say that in a non-obtrusive way so that people don’t think too much about what they just heard? Probably not, though, since I’m guessing the purpose of that law is not to pull the wool over people’s eyes…

If you REALLY want to keep it a secret? I’d probably find another officiant. 😉

Post # 4
Member
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

IS it only for this judge or does anyone have to state that you’re already married?

Post # 6
Member
1455 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Ummm what state do you live in? I have NEVER heard of that law! Although we did the same thing (for insurance) and our priest is just removing the part about “and the state of Indiana” from announcing us. Could you have someone else officiate? Since you’re already married you  can do anything- seriously you can hire an actor and it won’t matter!!!!!!!

Post # 7
Member
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with getting someone else.

Post # 8
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - The Chesapeake Bay Beach Club

Does she have to say the word married?  Can she just say that you all have already committed yourselves to each other?  That could be interpreted loosely 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I guess I would need to know how your family is going to take it when they find out.  If they’re going to be fine with it, I say you can very excitedly tell them at your housewarming.  If they might not be happy, I might be in the camp suggesting you find someone else to officiate–you know, keep the peace!

Post # 11
Member
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well, you have the memories of having her for your ceremony. Now, it’s just going through the motions for the sake of your guests.

Post # 12
Member
1455 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Is it REALLY state law??? That just sounds so fishy to me. If it was state law why would another officiant not have to say it?

I would look into that if I were you.

Post # 13
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

@kpugs: I believe that in California, that’s the law. If she was married by an officer of the court, then she can’t be re-married by the same officer without the person announcing that they’ve already done it. Otherwise I think that’s considered misdemeanor fraud.

My suggestion would be to find a new officiant…unless she could officiate as a layperson?

Post # 14
Member
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

It can’t be state law.  I bet she just has to say “in the power vested to me” instead of “in the power vested to me by the state of XYZ”.

 

I’d find a new officiant though.  Either that or suck it up and tell people.

Post # 16
Member
1455 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Ok ONLY her not being able to say it makes more sense than how I read it- that a judge couldn’t say it, period.

Still weird/silly but no matter how awesome she is, my vote would be to find another. i would rather find someone else than have to tell everyone!

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