(Closed) I've had enough!

posted 7 years ago in Home
  • poll: WHO IS SUPPORTING ME?
    I am - I am rooting for you! You can do it, see you next week with pics! : (125 votes)
    86 %
    I am not - you should just burn the place! (much easier!) : (21 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 32
    Member
    233 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @StuporDuck:  Haaa @ tire coffe table. Very practical.

    Post # 33
    Member
    2401 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Why cant the tires go in your car’s trunk? I’ve never, ever heard of anyone storing tires inside. 

    Personally, I cant stand clutter. Whenever I feel like I have too much “stuff,” Fi and I do a goodwill run. I used to do a “buy/donate” trade. For every item I bought, one thing had to go to charity or go out in the trash.  

    Post # 35
    Member
    1064 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Here for you!!! We’re struggling with lack of space..i have nowhere to put the winter clothes during summer, for example 🙁 We son’t have a laundry room so the only place i have to pile the washed clothes before ironing is the living room chairs and i HATE it !!*sigh* there’s no question of moving to a bigger house, fue to the economy. IF only Darling Husband would allow me to buy a good bookcase i could take my beloved books from the bedroom closet and hence make space for winter clothes!! But he’s terrible about changing anything Undecided

    Post # 36
    Member
    10951 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    Tires in the living room?   Augghhhh!  I’m having anxiety problems just reading aboutbthis mess.

    My Mother-In-Law is a hoader, and Darling Husband has the genes.  His office looks like hell.  I don’t know how he can actually think in there.

    But,  I leave that be in exchange for zero clutter tolerance in the rest of the house.  

    In go berserk when he leaves crap on the kitchen counters and it’s working.  

     

    He has sold a lot of stuff on ebay, which is a good thing.  But tires in the living room is way beyond whst  I could handle.

    Post # 37
    Member
    9951 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Fist off (( HUGS ))

    Second off, I get it.  I sooo get it because I grew up in a house with a family of pack rats.  And some of that has most certainly wore off on me.

    Mr TTR is a kind-of pack rat… he doesn’t keep too much crap, but he does have his “zones” that are out of control too IMO… like his Office, Garage and Garden Shed.  Honestly I don’t have a clue what is in each of them… thank goodness they all have doors that close.

    My issue is more about “hot spots”… I have distinct areas that are my “drop zones”… where things tend to accummulate.  Kitchen Table, Dining Room Table, next to the Computer, and on my side of the Bedroom…

    I am trying to improve… but as a life long pack rat it really is a struggle.

    I would advise that you don’t throw anything out without consulting with him first.  Pack Rats / Hoarders are very possessive about “their stuff” even if they might have forgotten what is in each and every pile.  If you’ve ever watched any of the Hoarder shows on Tv, the most success is found when someone works thru the process with the person one-on-one (expensive proposition if it isn’t a loved one but a specialist that you bring in).  You have to give the person choices… Keep (and a plan where) – Throw – Donate – Recycle etc.

    9 times out of 10, we know we have an issue… it is just that we get overwhelmed and cannot manage it on our own… we truly need someone who LOVES us to give us a hand (it really isn’t something we do on purpose… it is a habit that is tough to break because it is something we’ve ALWAYS done, and as others said, comes to us either thru family… or a situation that happened to us that sparked a need to “hang on” to life (aka stuff) because of some sort of fear of letting go)

    It can’t necessarily be cured… as it relates psychologically to OCD behaviour… but it certainly can be managed thru LOVE, patience and understanding

    And yes, you have to have organized storage as well.  There are a lot of great items around to aid with storage solutions.  And stores that specialize in those needs (beyond just going to Canadian Tire – Zellers – Walmart – Home Depot – BBB etc… even a Dollar Store has cheap stuff you can use).  And check out a Solutions Store if there is one near you… even if you don’t buy there, they are great for inspiration.

    As a fellow Canadian I get the whole tire issue.  And ya they take up a ton of room, and are a year-round menace (Winter Tires need storage in the Spring, Summer and Fall… and Summer Tires need storage in the winter)

    If you store them off-site you need somewhere secure.  Basement Locker in your building might be one solution.  Or a Storage Locker (if you have other stuff to go off-site as well)… OR look at having your local Car Dealership store them for you.  Many will do this.  For example, we have a fairly new vehicle… and our Dealer stores our tires year-round.  When we want them changed, we just call up and they do the switchover… and take the ones that come off into storage.  Sure they charge us for this storage service (can’t recall if it is $ 25 or $ 50 each time) in addition to the tire change… but it is sooo worth it.  If the tires are for your NEW car should be no problem… if they are for your Fiance’s car, then maybe you can still work out a deal with the Car Dealer (or a private garage that does tire changes).  In the least, call around.

    Lastly, Mr TTR and I have very busy schedules… (lol we are also LOVERS of R&R) so we don’t spend enough time on house work etc.  I have been following the Fly Lady on-line for a couple of months now.  And that seems to help a lot (having a routine).  Beyond the housekeeping, it also helps in managing the clutter.  You might want to check it out http://www.flylady.net

    Hang in there… you guys CAN find a workable / liveable solution, it just might take some time and effort

     

     

    Post # 38
    Member
    942 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Good Luck!!!

    My Mother-In-Law is a hoarder & SO has the gene. I’ve told him he is NOT ALLOWED to bring ANYTHING into the house unless we both agree on a place for it. If there is no place for it or it doesn’t fit in its place, it doesn’t belong. If he wants to make it fit then stuff goes to charity on classifieds for a small price.

    When it comes to throwing things I try to stick to: if it hasn’t been used or worn in over 6 months, it isn’t needed – throw it out.

    Lastly, you guys must learn to do this together and regularly to keep it in check, starting this week. Hope you’re still going strong :-))

    Post # 39
    Member
    2649 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I support you! But I clicked the burn it button because i like setting things in fire!

    Post # 40
    Member
    10016 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I support you!  Can’t wait for the updates!  Good luck!

    Post # 42
    Member
    620 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    I support you. Get rid of all the clutter. It will be cathartic for you.

     

    Post # 43
    Member
    1675 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Are they snow tires? Most tire places will store snow tires for a nominal fee. Darling Husband and I both store ours at the tire place that puts our snow tires on/takes them off. I think it’s about $35/year.

    Post # 44
    Member
    1497 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    You can do it! I think you have to have a game plan to tackle it but you can do it! I have an aunt that is a hoarder and truly, her mind just sees things differently so be patient with Fiance but be clear in what you need.

    Once you start feeling comfortable in your own home, you can start dealing with Fiance. Explain to him how you feel and what you need. He may not ever “get it” from your point of view but hopefully he will eventually see how his hoarding effects you and your relationship.

    I think in your case, you should set small goals. Have you ever heard of the FlyLady? If not, google her. She has a whole system but the premise is that you clean for 15 minute intervals. Just focus hard for 15 minutes at a time and little by little you gain control and set new habits. The new habits is what keeps you house clean. Nothing is worst than spending hours (or days) working so hard only to have a mess again in a couple of weeks.

    I don’t love to clean but I’m sort of an organizational nut. You have a small space so it can get frustrating and feel like you don’t have room for everything but you’re just going to have to get creative. I love the tire rack that JulesSchnooks:  posted. If you can’t store the tires any where else, go for something like that. Have a piece of wood cut to fit the top and sit it across like a shelf. Then cover the whole thing with some pretty fabric (preferably something that doesn’t have a busy print since that can make the space look busy. Clean lines make things look neater). You create storage underneath and can rotate the summer and winter tires as needed. Plus, you create a storage space up top.

    I’m in your corner on this one!

    Post # 45
    Member
    341 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I am a total neat freak so I would end up giving in and cleaning it up. I would let him know that I would help him clean it up this weekend and if it does not get done its getting donated.  That would light a fire under my FI’s butt.

    Post # 46
    Member
    10849 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @happyface:  Made any head way? I got Darling Husband to clean up his side of the bedroom yesterday and it’s like HEAVEN in there!!! I gave him a deadline of Thanksgiving (Canadian, so 2nd week in October) to finish up the basement which he seems excited to get done. Slow and steady…

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