Post # 1
All I have to say is eff waiting! Seriously just screw it. I’m so sick and tired of waiting and feeling like this and just feeling like I’m not even that important to someone. I’m sick of life getting in the way and I’m sick of everything being about money. Ugh! Fuck It!
Post # 3
Oooo. I’ve had that moment. Sorry things are rough. 🙁 I think we all have that big F-it all moment sometimes. I don’t know what’s going on on your end so all I can say is- I hope things look up for you really soon. In any way. *hugs*
Post # 4
I hear you! I was there last week and I only felt better after I had a bad bad meltdown. Now, I’m back up and waiting without problems.
Sorry you’re feeling fed up. It gets better….for awhile at least.
Post # 5
You are NOT alone. I have had an awful start to the week as well! Sometimes I just want to curl up in a ball and forget anything exists.
I really hope things get better for you soon… as they… say this, too, shall pass.
Post # 6
Awww I know how you feel! Some days just suck so bad and the waiting is just too hard. I find the hardest part is the doubt that sometimes starts to creep in and the thoughts of “does he really love me? is money just an excuse?”
What helps for me is to do more gym glasses (particularly boxing!) to get some of the anger and frustration out, or talking it through with my SO.
I hope you feel better soon!!
Post # 7
I’m like practically crying at work right now. I’m so sick of waiting for someone else to have control over my future. I’ve suggested a 100 times that we just start planning and he can ask when he’s ready. Nope. I’ve asked if I can propose to him. Never. I’ve suggested a smaller right, a smaller wedding, a destination wedding. All which are met by Brooklyn you know that isn’t what you want. Which it isn’t but I would do anything that would move this along faster. Sooooo over it!
P.S. Thank you all for the kind words. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who feels like telling him to shove it 🙂
Post # 8
Good! Focus on today and not some future wedding in your head. Personally, it really irritates me that some women get so torn up waiting for a proposal. Makes me feel like women have made no progress what-so-ever in the past 50 years. It is NICE to have a loving man in your life, but it is quite possible to have a happy life without one! NOT that I am suggesting that you ditch the bf (unless you want to!).
Post # 9
I feel you on the waiting for someon else to have control over my future. I feel like that a lot and I hate it because I know I shouldn’t!! I read some advice on here earlier… Live your life like your SO isn’t in it! Make decisions and do everything on your OWN time and forget about the wedding. Easier said than done I know, but it’s nice advice to think about when you are looking to the future. Do it for YOU.
Has he given you any sort of timeline at all? Or any other reasons hes taking his sweet time? I know you’re up there on the waiting list :/
Post # 10
Yup. That was me today. I had a difficult time this weekend and it ended with an email I sent him today. (I just needed to get some things off my chest–I told him he didn’t need to reply because it wasn’t the start of a conversation.)
Once I sent it, I felt much better. I just wanted to get all my concerns out there and know that he understood what was going on with me.
Hopefully this good phase lasts for a while.
Post # 11
I feel ya girl! Oh wee I am so there with this waiting today. I’ve battled with whether or not I should even start up ANOTHER convo with the SO or not. He can tell something is wrong but I haven’t tried talking to him yet. I just feel like it isn’t worth it anymore at times. He’s not really given any “real” excuses in my opinion. I’ve always said it’s money (just due to his job hopping, bad economy, etc) But I have money saved. I can buy my own ring but he doesn’t want that. So that means make me wait forever? Due to the pay cuts from job to job I don’t know when he will be able to save the money for the ring. We are currently at home together everyday this week due to our job situations. I hate having to walk by him all day when I’m feeling like this. I just want to scream. Hang in there. You are not alone.
Vent Over *And Scene*
Post # 12
I agree with almost everything you said!
I just reached my limit today, I’m so freaking bummed. My SO is currently unemployed due to a series of circumstances and can barely do much of anything because he’s waiting for the perfect job. Well I have news: perfection doesn’t exist!!! Every job is going to have some shit and we’ll never know the future until it’s the present!! It’s seriously pissing me off because it’s getting in the way of an engagement. The ring that I want is like $150 and I haven’t told him but I’d be totally fine with a ring that costs $70 but will soon. IF he can have a real conversation about our future! He just avoids avoids avoids these days so he doesn’t have to deal with talking about the future and the scary unknown. It’s so frustrating that I see his personality and know that being married will help ground and stabilize him but he sees it opposite, that he needs to be stable and grounded to have a family. UGH.
I just have to keep reminding myself that it really is the job situation and he does want to marry me. It just doesn’t feel or seem like it some days. And of course, LDR certainly does NOT help one bit.
Post # 13
I can understand why that would irritate you. I guess I’ve been waiting for probably 2 years now and I feel like Im going to be stuck like this forever.
That is part of my issue is I am in a place in my life where I don’t have a whole lot going on and I’m starting to think I’m just going to make decisions for me and not worry what he’s going to think because I just need to start worrying about me and where I want my life to go. It truly is due to money. He gets laid off over the winter and the money that was in my ring fund went to heat my house so it isn’t like I can complain but it just truly hurts. Some days I just want to be like I wish you were trying harder because I feel like this isn’t a top priority to you. At one point my timeline was after Chrismas 2010. Then it was May or June 2011. Well he still hasn’t gone back to work and he isn’t going to make enough in 2 months to pay for my center stone. I’m so sick of that damn waiting list. It’s like a stab in the eye every time I see it (but secretly I like being at the top;)
I hope that you guys stay good as well. I wish we were in that place today.
@PrettySedity:I just feel like it isn’t worth it anymore at times.
THIS! Some days I feel like I should tell people that I actually don’t care about ever getting married and that it is just a piece of paper. FML!
Post # 14
Further evidence that we waiting gals tend to phase through the same cycles at the same time: I, too, am in the midst of a ‘fuck it’ stage. Lately, when people ask “when are y’all getting married?”, my first instinct is to say, “Pfffft, the day after never”, but I just smile sweetly and give a polite same ol’ same ol’ response like usual.
It sucks big fat giant donkey balls to feel like this.
Post # 15
Arrrrrgh I feel this way too. I don’t mind waiting in the sense that we’re just waiting for our current life circumstance to change (which has a pretty definite date, and which is a decision we both agreed on), but I sure as hell am going to mind if he then gets the ring and waits to give it to me until a time he arbitrarily decides is right. That just doesn’t seem fair to let someone else control that! MsBrooklynA, could you talk to your SO to see if he’d be willing to simply decide together to get engaged, rather than you waiting on him to propose? SO and I are kind of doing that and it’s made me feel so much better to know that I have some of a say in it.
Post # 16
@Wonderwoman217:It sucks big fat giant donkey balls to feel like this.
Can this be my facebook status? We just got into a major fight about waiting and I think we both cried. I fucking hate life and the economy. Can I blame the president for making me wait so long?
We both agree to get engaged but he is very traditional and he truly wants to be the one to ask. I’ve tried to suggest that we start planning and he can ask when we are ready but he is against that. I respect that he wants to be the “man” in this situation and I am honored that he wants to give me my ring in a traditional manner but I just wish it wasn’t taking so long.