(Closed) I’ve had it! (rant)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Does your fiance know how much this means to you? Money or no money, I’m surprised you’ve been engaged a year and he’s put so little effort into making marriage happen… most guys would be anxious to get married or at least set a date, too! 

edit: Also, I feel you shouldn’t have to make any excuse to his family at all. It’s a shame yours is not excited for you. I just don’t think you should have to make excuses if it’s really his family. 

Post # 4
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Honestly, if my Fiance acted this way for a whole year I would be done. IMO and I know not everyone thinks this, engagement is the beginning of actively planning a wedding. If you’re not working towards a wedding then you are not engaged. It sounds like he’s not ready to be engaged. Like MisssPumpkinBarry said, have you told him how much it means to you? Maybe you need to communicate your desires more.

Post # 5
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

First, I’m really sorry you’re dealing with all this frustration. Your feelings are definitely warrented.

Second, what’s going on with him? There’s got to be something deeper. My only advice would be to have a heart-to-heart with him about it. Take away anything that might distract him and ask him point blank. Tell him clearly how you’re feeling and see what he says. Maybe it’s cold feet. Maybe he’s embarrassed that he can’t give you a big wedding. Whatever it is, you guys need to get on the same page.

Post # 7
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

make the decisions, and put it all together so he can visualize everything. let him see how much it means to you. he will love seeing you get so excited, and then hopefully give you more opinions! good luck!

Post # 8
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would def. make some decisions if I were you. Let him know how much this means to you and see if you can get him in on your excitement! 


Post # 9
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

How old is he? Guys are typically about 2 years behind girls maturity wise, and he just might not be there yet as far as marriage and understanding how important this is to you. You said you were 21 when you got engaged, is he as young as you? Girls are ready for this stuff sooner, and he seems as though he loves you, wants to commit to you, but just might not quite be there as far as understanding what a wedding is about and the importance. Can you wait a few more years?

Post # 10
13082 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you need to sit down with him and have a long talk about what you want, what you expect from him during this process, and set a timeline based on your schedules.  Being in school, you undoubtably have a lot going on, but you need to be up front with him about what you want/need, and go from there.  Maybe it’ll come out that you need to wait a few more years, or maybe he’s holding back for some other reason entirely. 

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