- 4 months ago
- Wedding: August 2019 - City, State
Bees, I am so bloody upset!
I feel like I have lost total control of my wedding. Back when we started planning and creating a guest list, I made my stance on children attending the wedding very clear to everyone involved. I wanted an adults only wedding. Well things did not go my way, as my FMIL’s brother – who is not local and will have to fly or drive several hours to attend, has 2 young children he cannot leave at home. They also both have Autism – so my sugesstion of hiring them a local babysitter was also a no go. As such, I made an exception for them and 1 other young child to appease my Future Mother-In-Law. I did not want to start my marriage by isolating and excluding who will effectively become my uncle (in-law?).
Well my invitations went out last week and now people are recieving them. I had to make another compromise about a large group of family friends attending. They all grew up with ym fiance when they were very young, but are no longer in contact with him for the least 11 years (at least). My Future Mother-In-Law wanted them all invited, whereas I only wanted to invite the matriarch and patriarch of the family. I lost this battle, but put my foot down on young children. No other children as I had already made an exception for family members.
Well the Matriarch of this family just got her invitation and was livid to discover her granddaughter was not on the list. She just called my Future Mother-In-Law screaming, stating that if her granddaughter was not invited to the wedding she would ensure not a single member of her family would attend.
My fiance is not happy and advised his mother as such, stating this woman was being extremely childish and rude, making her granddaughter the focus of our big day. But effectively – this granddaughter will have to be invited to the wedding. This granddaughter whom I have met once, and doesn’t even know my fiance’s name. I tried to offer child care options – “It’s not about childcare – its about her attending the wedding”, was the response.
I am just so angry and frustrated and just totally furious. I do not know how I even let this happen. I told my fiance to say fine, if they do not come they do not come. Let her be a child and throw a tantrum. But I know my Future Mother-In-Law will be utterly heartbroken if I take that stance. From talking with my fiance it seems like it is basically a done deal and I have no say in the matter. I will have to make room for this child at the wedding.
I’m not really sure what advise I am looking for. I just needed to write this down and vent my feelings. Thanks for reading if yuo got this far.
And yes – I know. Boundries. I have been trying my best to set them. I really just don’t even know how this happened. I thought I was already being kind and considerate by inviting her entire table of children and their spouses that do not even know my name.
I really just want to cry right now.