(Closed) I'VE MESSED UP. This is SO stupid…

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
4405 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Break it down into small tasks. “In the next two hours I am going to get all the kitchen dishes packed”, etc. You can do this.

Moving is overwhelming to *everyone*, so don’t beat yourself up.

Post # 3
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
alittledisappointing:  Oh honey. Big hugs. I don’t think anyone will come here and flame you.

 

Moving house (even if it is moving in with your wonderful SO) is stressful as hell. It’s a lot of hard work and it is exhausting. If you suffer with anxiety then no wonder you are struggling. Can you maybe go and help your SO and when you are feeling more calm he can then come and help you? Rather than you both doing your own thing? Get his stuff moved in and then tackle yours? Do you need to be out of where you are by close of play today, or could you actually do it another day.

 

Deep breaths. Everything will be ok.

Post # 4
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I am so sorry you’re feeling this way. I would focus on one task at a time. Literally pretend like packing up a single small room or just some part of one room (like just the books or something) is the only thing that you need to do. Start small, and focus on that single quick task. Once you complete that, move onto another small job. Often times when I feel overwhelmed to the point of procrastination, it’s the getting started that is the hard part – once you get going, you’ll probably find it a lot easier to keep motivated and keep doing task after task until it’s done. So just start small.

Post # 5
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Relax, dont be so hard on yourself. Moving can be an overwhelming task. Just start with one catergory of things like books. Dont worry about anything else just pack all of your books. After the books pack all of your silverware etc. Break it down into manageable piece. You’ll be fine. 

Post # 6
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

Do you have any friends or family to call and come and help you?  Can you call your partner and ask him to come and help you.  I am sure he is aware of your anxiety so he will probably be happy to help you.

Maybe to help cut down on your anxiety, stop thinking about having to pack your entire house at once and just focus on one room at a time.  Like start in your bedroom and begin packing up your clothes.  Then empty your nightstand.  Then move on to your bathroom.  Etc. Etc.  If you just focus on one room or one small task at a time then it may not seem as overwhelming.

Also focus on the fact that you are moving into an awesome home with your partner.  Think about the fun you two will have making it a home.  Focus on the positives.  And maybe throw on some of your favorite music and have a packing dance party.  Make it fun.

Finally, when you move again, to help prevent any anxiety maybe start packing earlier.  Waiting until the day that you move to even start packing anything would cause anyone to have stress or anxiety.

Post # 7
Member
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Try setting a timer. Crank your favorite get pumped music and work on a task for 20 minutes. Then set it for 5 for a break. You can do anything for 20 minutes. 

Post # 8
Member
444 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
alittledisappointing: Step One – Breathe.

It’s okay to be nervous. Give yourself a break for a moment, allow yourself to be human. 

You’re looking at everything at once, and it’s huge and messy and scary. Stop. Don’t do that. Just do something small. Not even small, like, I will pack this whole bedroom, or I will pack my whole wardrobe/dresser, but just “I will pack this drawer/shelf of clothes”. Take it in small, manageable bites. Then move on to the next drawer or shelf. 

Also, put on some good music or stream an old faithful television show to get some noise going. I love to watch reruns when I’m working around the house, feels like I’m hanging out with good friends.

Post # 9
Member
867 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

*Hugs* 

If any of my friends called me and said they were dealing with this I’d be there in a heartbeat (with pizza), this is a good time to call “Team You”. Good job reaching out to the bee for support, I know how hard it can be to admit something like this and I hope you felt that little rush of relief when you put it out there. 

Do you have to be out of your current place today, or do you have till the end of the month? When DH and I first moved in together (then BF) I was moving from my parents place to an apartment we picked out together. Since we didn’t have a deadline for getting all of my stuff and we didn’t have a vehicle I packed all of my necessities for over night and bussed them over. I bussed a few times to grab the next easy thing to transport (I filled my suitcase with my overnight stuff, then my laundry basket with other stuff I wanted to have). As for the rest of my stuff, it stayed at my parents place until the next day when we could bribe some friends with pizza and gas money to help move the rest of it. Dh’s Brother-In-Law helped DH with his stuff so they got all of his stuff (including the bed thankfully) over that day. 

All that to say, if you don’t need to do it all today, break it down into bite sized chunks. Prioritize what you need first (couple days of clothes, toiletries, phone charger), pack that and have it ready to go for today. After that just keep your priorities in mind and pack the room that makes the most sense to take over next. Don’t beat yourself up about this (easier said than done). 

You can do this!

Post # 10
Member
1321 posts
Bumble bee

Call a friend – any friend – to come and motivate you. 

I needed to do some clearing of clutter in my house and for months I couldn’t motivate myself to do it. My mum offered to come and help and we did all of it in a day! I honestly think that even if she’d just sat on the couch and talked to me it would have been just as motivating! 🙂

Post # 11
Member
4140 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I agree with everyone else, call in reinforcements! I have moved a million times and I’ve never done it without my BFF. Having someone else around makes the task seem so much less daunting. I bet if you told someone you were struggling they would be there in a heartbeat. Don’t be afraid to ask for help!

If that isn’t an option, start in one room and only focus on that. Forget the rest of the house. Start in one closet if you need to. Remember: How do you eat an elephant? One. Bite. At. A. Time! Haha, that always makes me giggle and remember that anything can be done if you break it down into smaller pieces. 

Wish the Bees could band together to help you! You got this! Congratulations on the next big step in your life!

Post # 12
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Awww I’m sorry you feel like that!  We are moving tomorrow into a new house and I have been a wreck all week as well.  My son is switching schools, today is his last day at the school he’s been to since kindergarten.  All his friends are sad he’s sad, I feel guilty ugh.  Moving is exciting but man does it SUCK!!!

My house looks like a tornado came through it.  I have boxes EVERYWHERE and most are empty.  Our friends are showing up at 7am tomorrow and I’m completely embarrassed to have them see how disgusting our house is right now.  I felt like how you did all week.  I just did what a PP said, I would sit in a room just staring at things not knowing what to do or where to start so I would pick a “subject” and start putting it in boxes.  Like the kids art stuf, anything art related I started throwing in boxes.  Then puzzles and games.  For our stuff I started with general decorations then the bathrooms, clothes, kitchen etc.  Just start small and once you get going you kind of get on a roll. Then the roll stops and last night after packing half the kitchen I sat on a chair in the middle of boxes and just sat there doing nothing for like 30 min haha.

You can do it, just small steps and take whatever breaks you want or need to.  It’ll all get done.

Post # 13
Member
628 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Don’t be so hard on yourself! Kudos for reaching out for motivation, you’re already doing more than you think! I agree with the PP who suggested 20 minute intervals. Keep those hurdles small today bee

I wouldn’t even say I usually suffer from anxiety but moving was the most overwhelming experience that I never thought I’d make it through! How exciting to have such a wonderful home to be moving in to with your partner though… keep your head up!

Post # 14
Member
1996 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

One step at a time! First I would pack smaller things, like dishes, or fragile items. Once you get going, you’ll pick up momentum. Don’t fret, don’t overthink it! you can do it 😊 maybe call your SO to come keep you company, or ask a good friend?

Post # 15
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

When I’m feeling anxious/overwhelmed about a big task, my favorite thing to do is turn on some awesome jams, boogie, and just knock it out while dancing!  Find some motivating music and just start one thing…I bet you get a ton finished!  I just moved a few months ago and I packed up just about the entire house all by myself, and this is the only way I could get started.  Good luck!

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