Post # 1
So this is kinda strange. I have never. EVER. Wanted kids or even thought about having them. Fiance and I have agreed that we both are not planning for children but if an accident happens we will consider not terminating the pregnancy if our feelings about it are different when it is like a legitimate issue. and we have discussed that in the future one of us might have a change of heart and if it is something we feel strongly about even after having a long thoughtful conversation about the pros and cons of having a kid, both of us are willing to have a kid to make the other happy and fulfilled and would embrace parenthood wholeheartedly.
this semester I’m taking a developmental psychology class for my teaching certification and all I read about is kids and child rearing practices and more and more I’m finding it hard to say “I don’t want kids” because I keep thinking about the possibility of that being a part of my life and it’s not a terrible idea?? But I still hate other people’s children lol.
I know that no one knows me better than I do, but does this sound like ‘baby fever’ or do you think its just because I’m learning about raising kids that it’s even in my head, or is this like me legitimately starting to change my mind???
Has anyone else gone through this??
Post # 2
Wait till you complete the class and see how you feel!
When I was a teen I didnt want to ever have kids… at age about 22-23 I though I might some day have them. At 28 I had the worst baby fever ever (right after meetimg FI) but we weren’t ready financially or logisticaly.. and now I do want kids theoretically, and we will TTC right after the wedding in summer 2017 as agreed, but I don’t have that crazy baby fever I think I need to really want to have kids. And I really really hope it comes back full force before we TTC, cause I want to have a lid when it’s extremelly emotionally wanted not just theoretically. I’ll be 32 and him 40 by then and we really can’t wait much longer…
So after you complete your class, if you still feel like you want to have children maybe you are changing your mind, maybe the class was the triger but it also may be hormones kicking in and the marernal instinct waking up, biological clock ticking….talk to your husband. And hopefully you guys can make the right decidion for the both of you 🙂
Post # 3
themoonofhislife: I feel like I am the opposite! I have ALWAYS wanted kids, always. I work with kids, I love my nieces and nephews (I’d rather hang w/the kids than the adults sometimes!). Everyone expected me to have a kid right after getting married.
And now… ugh. No. I have two good friends who just had babies and it seems HORRENDOUS. They look miserable and unhappy and all they talk about is their kids poop, their cloth diapers, their homemade wipes… UGH. They have the babies constantly on their boobs and never are able to go anywhere without the kid. LOL. To me, this just looks completely awful.
I say wait for the class to be over and give it a good year to see if your feelings REALLY have changed. It’s totally possible that they have!
Post # 4
i think its totally possibly to love your own kids but dislike other peoples children. My neice and nephew drive me absolutely mental and i think some kids are just gross, but i dont feel that way about every kid i meet. That being said i’m excited to be a mom.
Post # 5
Swizzle: omg I’m so glad you said this!! I always thought I wanted children. I loved working with kids when I was in high school and college, always get that “OMG LET ME SQUEEZE YOUR BABY’S CHEEKS AND SMELL THEIR LITTLE HEADS” when I saw an infant and just *knew* I wanted kids. But then…. as Darling Husband and I got more serious and all his siblings started having kids, I literally can’t stand to be around them. We have 10 nieces and nephews and back when we first started dating, there was only one. As more popped out, I loved playing with them but now that they’re older and there are SO MANY of them, I really really dislike them. And it scares the crap outta me! We’ve always said we wanted kids, I know Darling Husband can’t wait to be a dad but, damn… anytime we’re around our neices and nephews I just want to run away and hide from them.
I don’t know if it’s just because they aren’t well behaved (and never disciplined) or if I’m losing my interest in having kids. But I hope you’re right: you can dislike other people’s kids and still love your own.
Post # 6
I hate other peoples kids too… I actually cant stand being around kids or babies ugh! I’ve never looked at a baby or child and genuinly thought, omg she/he is cute!
That being said I do know I want kids of my own! I think my reason for not liking babies/kids is because I’ve never been around them really. They are like foreign confusing things to me. I don’t think you sound like you have “baby fever” but maybe as your getting older your realizing your more open to the idea than you originally thought?
Post # 7
Hmmm I think you will find most people dislike other people’children!!
Post # 8
themoonofhislife: I have my own kids and I still dislike a lot of other people’s kids, hahaha. So no, I don’t think disliking other people’s kids is a sign.
Post # 9
ana2017: thank you for the advice! I will definitely see how I’m feeling after the class comes to an end. that seems like a good way to judge my feelings on this.
weatherbug: lol those are all the reasons I never wanted them! Plus how expensive they are!
ktsteimel: yessss, same here, never been around kids, never understood them, was never comfortable around them. but I’m starting to understand their psychology better and it actually seems kinda cool lol
Post # 10
I never wanted kids and I have a bit of a harsh (traditional Christian) approach to children (see related comments) and my mind definitely changed. The main thing I’m interested in is the psychologicl and sociological development and the parenting styles that best yield the type of child I think is best to raise. We plan on having children now and anyone who knows me is flabbergasted, lol. I think people simply change. You have your reasons and it’s OK if they change.
Like you, I still hate other people’s children, though, lol.
Post # 11
I’m glad to hear that other people don’t like babies! I think they are gross and I never want to hold them, I think I’m scared of them actually. Fiance and I are both 31, we decided to reassess later, when we are at least 35. I agree with the comment that new Mom’s look so miserable. Also, it seems like all the relatives that have kids have nothing going for them except for their kids, it’s like their entire self worth is based on their kids and like they have lost themselves as people. I don’t know if i’ll ever be ready for that!