(Closed) “I’ve only ever been with one person” – well, whoop de doo.

posted 6 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: What's your situation?
    I have only ever had sex with one person and I am proud of that. : (197 votes)
    11 %
    I have only ever had sex with one person but I don't care/never mention it. : (170 votes)
    10 %
    I have only ever had sex with one person but I wish I'd experienced other partners. : (63 votes)
    4 %
    I have had sex with more than one person and I am happy that I did. : (477 votes)
    28 %
    I have had sex with more than one person but I wish I had only been with one. : (120 votes)
    7 %
    I have had sex with more than one person but I don't think it had any effect on shaping who I am. : (205 votes)
    12 %
    My choice was partly based on my religious/moral beliefs. : (104 votes)
    6 %
    Added: I've had sex with more than one person and it has had helped to shape who I am. : (393 votes)
    23 %
  • Post # 3
    1855 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Hah. I was a teeange whore. I’m 21, I have a degree, and I’m engaged to an Electrical Engineer. I’ve never had an STI.

    Fiance has also slept around. We have awesome sex. I know what I like and he knows what he likes.

    Clearly neither my Fiance nor my vagina resent me for this.

    Post # 4
    5075 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    You need an “I’ve been with multiple people at the same time” choice. Wink  

    Post # 5
    2871 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I certainly had been with others before I met Darling Husband so I am purely speculating on behalf of those who waited. 

    That being said, I think part of the “pride” is that (in my opinion) it takes TONS of friggin willpower to wait.   If I was one who felt waiting was the right thing to do, I would be proud that I stuck to my guns.  I can imagine between the peer pressure, and (lets face it) physical urges waiting isn’t easy! 

    Just as I am proud that I didnt wait and got to discover what I like, what I didnt like etc.  I am sure they are proud they made a choice and stuck with it.  To each their own!


    Post # 9
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Heck yes!  I am glad I had some “other experiences.”  I love life way too much not to experience many different things.  (This is my personal opinion for myself, not saying someone who has not gotten around does not love life!) 

    For me:  I have been through so many things that I appreciate what I have now with Darling Husband.  I am glad I got all of my “experimenting” out of my system.  I have no desire to go “back there,” but I am glad I did prior.

    Post # 10
    13099 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I’ve only had sex with Darling Husband but he wasn’t my first everything.  And we didn’t wait until marriage (or even engagement) either.  DH had had sex before me.

    I wouldn’t say that “proud” is the right word for it but I am happy with how things turned out.  I told myself that I wasn’t saving myself for marriage or even necessarily “the one” but that I was saving myself for someone I loved, trusted, and was 100% comfortable with.  When Darling Husband and I started dating when I was 20 (and he was 21), that was the first time I felt it was “right”.

    We broke up for a few months (after we had had sex) and I didn’t feel any regret over that.  I didn’t wish I’d saved myself for someone else or anything; I was fully comfortable with the choice I’d made.

    That said, I am glad we ended up back together because obviously someone who I love, trust, and am 100% comfortable with isn’t a bad person to be with forever! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Post # 11
    424 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I chose: I had sex with more than one person and I’m happy that I did it!

    Like you, I have been many people in my life and all my relationships have helped me grow in different ways. I have enjoyed having different sexual partners and have learned a lot from each and everyone of them. I for one, feel that I’m more secure (AND confident), feel like I’m a better lover and most importantly, I don’t regrets or thoughts of “what could have been.” 

    I do know know what you are talking about… I see the smug-ness all the time. I can definitely appreciate that some people have found their loved one early on, but I really don’t care to know that he’s your only one and that you’re elated by that fact. I do think that it is somewhat immature (maybe socially inept is more accurate) to state that “he’s my only one” because really, most of us DON’T care and it doesn’t earn you brownie points. It’s great that you found your love and you saved yourself them, whatever floats your boat but it doesn’t make you look any more like a saint, or make me feel guilty about how many sexual partners I’ve had or. I also don’t mean for this to sound rude but a lot of the time it is IRRELEVANT and just plugged into the post with having little to do with the topic at hand. Maybe I should start or end my posts off with “I should know… I’ve boinked __ amount of people.” 


    Post # 13
    903 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’ve only ever had sex with my Fiance but I’m not super proud to say that nor regretful–it’s just kind of a fact. Trust me, I NEVER EVER imagined a when I was younger that I would be marrying the man I started dating when I was 16. I didn’t believe in “high school sweethearts” and all that sentimental stuff. Before we were together, I probably would have said there was no way that would happen. My mom didn’t marry my dad until she was forty, so I always figured I had tons of time to meet the guy I would spend my life with. I dated a bunch of guys before Fiance but we always went on only one date because no one sparked my interest. Then I started dating Fiance and…we just kept dating! There was no point when I was in my teens when I thought, “Omg, this is the guy I’m going to marry, this is the only guy I’ll ever sleep with, I am SET.” We just started dating, we fell in love, and now we’re 24 and 25 and we’re getting married. We did both change a LOT from who we were as teenagers, I think it’s pure luck that we changed in ways that are obviously compatible. So even though I’ve only slept with one person myself, I get where you’re coming from. You do go through so many changes in your late teens and early 20s, which is why I didn’t even entertain the thought of getting married until within the past year and a half. Even though we’d been together for five years plus by then, it was still too soon. I don’t feel some sort of glowing pride to say I’ve only been with my Fiance. That’s just the truth!

    Post # 14
    338 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I met my fiance when we were 15/16. Beyond making out, he was my first everything and I was his first everything too. I feel happy about this. Not PROUD because it’s not an accomplishment but happy. Sex is a very, very romantic notion to me, so the idea of having only shared that with one person and him having only shared it with me is sweet and romantic, which is why I’m happy about it. 


    I do think it would have been nice to date more for the experience and self growth but I couldn’t help it. I found the one in high school and the more I got to knoW him the last 6 years, the more I didn’t want to let go. 

    Post # 15
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I am 25 and I’ve slept with 3 people.

    The first, when I was 18, was a mistake and I regret it. I wasn’t ready, but I gave in to his pressure.

    The next person I was with at 20, I was completely in love with and 100% convinced we were going to get married one day. He ended up breaking my heart, but I don’t really regret sleeping with him.

    And the last person is obviously my Darling Husband.

    My Darling Husband has only slept with one person (me obviously lol).

    I secretly wish that I had waited until marriage, but I’m okay with how things turned out. While I don’t think that remaining a virgin until marriage is the best accomplishment ever, it is a very special thing that is rare these days. 

    Post # 16
    7173 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I think for some people – waiting is the epitome and the most desirable thing. I also feel like there could be some hidden judgement for those that have not waited (hence the smuggness)???   I have to believe that waiting is 99% religiously motivated, but I could be totally wrong on that (that’s purely my opinion).

    I actually don’t every read it as pride – more like genuinue excitement they are about to have sex!!  (or just had)

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