(Closed) I've realized I'm not being fair…

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
90 posts
Worker bee

I’m pretty lousy at this waiting thing, too.  I used to bring up all sorts of I-want-to-get-married nonsense an awful lot.  Honestly, the only reason he hears about it less is because I’m finally seeing that being a nuisance about it has gotten me nowhere, so why bother?  Not talking about it is less frustrating for both of us (not just him).

 

And yes, my mother does hear me say the same types of things you say.

 

So you aren’t alone in this.  And there certainly wont be any judging.  Honestly, your post was a bit of a reality check.  You are labeling yourself a “bad waiting bee” and you’re still better than I am.  I’m definitely doing something wrong…

Post # 4
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@braverbeating:  dont feel bad. I had to stop the passive aggressive stuff myself a couple months back. now i am just direct whenever i have something to say =0) I put my feeling into the universe and the universe puts me at ease (for a while)

 

Good luck holding it together!

Post # 6
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’ve been similiar too…I shut up about it for 3 days and he noticed! I had been harping on about it. So now I’m trying the SUIP and seeing if I can last until our Easter roadtrip!

Post # 7
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@braverbeating:  You aren’t a bad girl friend- you are frustrated and people say things when they are frustrated.  I’ll be honest with you and I’m guilty of that too (and probably worse than you) “I don’t want to go on a couples trip with your friends until you are fully committed to me- I’m JUST your girlfriend (all the couples were married except us- awkward!)” and “We went to DisneyWorld in November and you didn’t propose then, so your proposal better be better than that or I am saying no- good luck.”  Not nice things.  I was really upset when I said those things and they haunt me now (and the first comment I said over a year ago).  You shouldn’t say hurtful things to/about your SO because that’s not how you show someone you love them.  Think before you speak.  But waiting is HARD, and if you aren’t perfect, don’t be too hard on yourself.  *hugs*

Post # 9
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

I’m right there with all of you.. passive aggressiveness is my specialty. The other day we went out to supper with a couple that we are really good friends with. They started dating 5 days after us, so it has always seemed like everyone compares us. Anyways, they got engaged in November and I had some wedding books from my sister. When the 4 of us were at supper, I gave them to the girl and said, “You can borrow these, I clearly won’t be needing them for a while.” Oops! It was a joke, sort of…

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