Post # 1
I have been a bad waiting bee. I’ve realized that as of late I have been making some snarky, “you know whenever he wants to propose” comments to practically everyone who will listen. I am not being a good gf & I don’t like the person in the mirror! I wouldn’t want to propose to me either if I knew about that! I am being really hard on SO even though he has been diligently been applying to jobs. He’s been really stressed with the move, not having friends here, and not having a job. He’s expressed that he doesn’t have much to look forward to.
I have been feeling horrible as of late, so I am vowing to be better! I will no longer make those comments and I am going to show him some more love because he’s been so supportive of me and us moving for my job. I just had to get it off my heart and I hope you all don’t judge me too harshly.
Post # 3
I’m pretty lousy at this waiting thing, too. I used to bring up all sorts of I-want-to-get-married nonsense an awful lot. Honestly, the only reason he hears about it less is because I’m finally seeing that being a nuisance about it has gotten me nowhere, so why bother? Not talking about it is less frustrating for both of us (not just him).
And yes, my mother does hear me say the same types of things you say.
So you aren’t alone in this. And there certainly wont be any judging. Honestly, your post was a bit of a reality check. You are labeling yourself a “bad waiting bee” and you’re still better than I am. I’m definitely doing something wrong…
Post # 4
@braverbeating: dont feel bad. I had to stop the passive aggressive stuff myself a couple months back. now i am just direct whenever i have something to say =0) I put my feeling into the universe and the universe puts me at ease (for a while)
Good luck holding it together!
Post # 5
@Sonatine: you’re not bad! We all have our moments, or day or heck even days! But at least we realize that we’re not being fair and yes we do need reality checks!
I also tell my mother the same comments…ha
Post # 6
I’ve been similiar too…I shut up about it for 3 days and he noticed! I had been harping on about it. So now I’m trying the SUIP and seeing if I can last until our Easter roadtrip!
Post # 7
@braverbeating: You aren’t a bad girl friend- you are frustrated and people say things when they are frustrated. I’ll be honest with you and I’m guilty of that too (and probably worse than you) “I don’t want to go on a couples trip with your friends until you are fully committed to me- I’m JUST your girlfriend (all the couples were married except us- awkward!)” and “We went to DisneyWorld in November and you didn’t propose then, so your proposal better be better than that or I am saying no- good luck.” Not nice things. I was really upset when I said those things and they haunt me now (and the first comment I said over a year ago). You shouldn’t say hurtful things to/about your SO because that’s not how you show someone you love them. Think before you speak. But waiting is HARD, and if you aren’t perfect, don’t be too hard on yourself. *hugs*
Post # 8
@alsgirl: I’ve joined the shut it up pact, and although I haven’t said anything to SO about it, I have word vomited to everyone who will listen! I need to apply the SIUP to my daily life, not just with SO.
@HeartsandSparkles: thank you! I’m glad you bees understand my frustration as you are going through it as well.
@subtlebee: thank you 🙂 It helps to know I’m not the only one!
Post # 9
I’m right there with all of you.. passive aggressiveness is my specialty. The other day we went out to supper with a couple that we are really good friends with. They started dating 5 days after us, so it has always seemed like everyone compares us. Anyways, they got engaged in November and I had some wedding books from my sister. When the 4 of us were at supper, I gave them to the girl and said, “You can borrow these, I clearly won’t be needing them for a while.” Oops! It was a joke, sort of…