(Closed) Jealous and unsupportive friend

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

No offence but it doesn’t sound like you were ever best friends.  Rollling her eyes when you talk about your SO, not supporting your relationship – why are you acting like these are no big deal?

plus what are you expecting her to do for your wedding? It’s hard to tell who is being unreasonable with little information 

Post # 3
Member
13665 posts
Honey Beekeeper

So, what is it that you have been asking her to do? And is it possible she had been romantically interested in your FI?  

Post # 4
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee

How were you friends to begin with if she never supported you and your man? Did you just avoid talking to her about the topic? If that’s the case then maybe you should re-evaluate your friendship with her.

Post # 5
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2026

You are not friends. She should not be your future bridesmaid. Friends support one another; she isn’t doing that. Time to find someone who won’t be a little sassy b.

Post # 6
Member
8601 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

If this was my good friend I would say… ” are you upset about something youd like to talk to me about? Youve been really rude and its hurtful”. If she didnt fess up and make an effort to work it out than I’d let that “friend” slip away….

Post # 7
Member
7804 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I agree with pps, you dont sound that close in the first place.

That said, what are you asking her to do? What kind of “stress” are you putting on her with your wedding? The answer should realistically be none, but that is rarely the case on here.

Post # 8
Member
3057 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

You have describe a coworker and no the a friend. She doesn’t want anything to do with your wedding. 

Post # 9
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Rather than focusing on how her stress and feelings are affecting you, why not flip the script for a little bit and focus on her stress and feelings? Ask her how she’s doing, how she’s feeling, if she’s got a lot on her plate, if she has been to a lot of weddings lately, and if there’s anything you can do to help lift the burdens she’s clearly feeling.

Sure, planning a wedding is probably stressing you out, but sometimes focusing and helping someone else solve their problems can be a big stress relief. Help yourself by helping someone else.

Post # 10
Member
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

What you should say and do is nothing. Perhaps she is jealous or has other reasons, but she clearly does not want to be invovled in or hear about your wedding. She told you that out right. Do not ask her to be your bridesmaid and stop talking wedding plans with her. Unfortunately, your friendship is probably not as solid on her end as you believed. It’s sad when friends cannot be supportive, but it happens. The most I would do is invite her as a guest, but don’t be surprised if she declines or is a no-show.

Post # 11
Member
727 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Farm

View original reply
irishbride2018 :  

 

Was she ever interested in your FH at some point before you two started dating? Sounds like the jealousy to me is coming from your relationship with your fiance’. I could be wrong but they way you have described the situation she may actually want your spot.  She doesn’t sound like she viewed your relationship the same way as you did. 

I would keep her at a distance sounds like she could get worse the closer the wedding gets. This may be a relatiionship that you have to cut off.  When someone shows you who they are believe them. I understand giving someone the benefit of the doubt. She doesn’t acknowledge your feelings at all.  Is everything about her whenever you do talk or when you try to talk about yourself does she change the subject and place the attention back on herself?

Post # 12
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
irishbride2018 :  I agree with some of the PPs, just ask her how she is doing and if everything is ok. She may be feeling a little left out. I have no idea why… 

She may be jealous or she may just be uncomfortable with wedding talk. I agree with you, friends talk about so many things with each other, work, family, relationships (in some cases), etc. But when you talk about wedding stuff it comes off like you’re obsessed with your wedding. It is a thin line… It works best when you let people ask you about the wedding.  

Post # 13
Member
841 posts
Busy bee

I am in similar situation, however I am the friend. My BFF is also a co-worker as is her boyfriend. I am the friend that she talks to about him which is all fine until that is all that I hear about non-stop on every break and lunch that we take together. The two of us may take a walk and then her boyfriend spots us and instantly he is now part of the equation, they are hand in hand and I have become the third wheel. My friend NEVER asks how I am, or what is new in my life, it is always about her and her boyfriend. So maybe, just maybe, your friend is feeling the way that I do. Maybe she feels you talk too much about yourself and would just like some time with her friend to talk about something other than a relationship. I would stop pinning everything on her and take a step back to see what you can do to be a better friend and interact with her again.

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