(Closed) Jealous! Ex's Popping up everywhere!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

It sounds to me like you might be over reacting.  I didn’t quite follow all of that, but it sounds like you’re thinking about not asking your Future Sister-In-Law to be a bridesmaid because she used to be friends with someone that date FI?  That’s crazy.  It sounds like you need to listen to the saying on your picture.  

Whenever I start having any jealousy issues I ask myself what am I afraid of here?  Usually it’s something insanely stupid or irrational.  Your FH is choosing to be with you and marry you.  If she keep all this jealousy stuff up, it could eventually push him away.  So stop and ask yourself what’s at the root of these feelings?

Post # 4
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

@emilygrace07:  I totally agree.

@SunshineLovin:  I think it’s really crappy to not ask your Future Sister-In-Law to be a bridesmaid just b/c she’s still friends with your FI’s ex. You need to remember that he’s marrying you, not any of these exes. There’s a reason he broke up with each of them and the more you lash out with jealousy, the more he’s going to think about how insecure you are. And insecurity is not an attractive trait. 

Post # 5
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

He’s marrying you and pretty soon, YOU will be plastered all over the internet and facebook in your new status… as his wife!

Post # 6
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m not sure why you’re getting so upset about his past, we all have them. I understand getting upset that he made a joke about how his ex that you went to school with went to his dorm after your prom, that was just disrespectful of him throwing that in your face. 

You’re getting upset about things that had nothing to do with your relationship, his past doesn’t change anything about your relationship. He can’t control who his sister is friends with, and from what i gathered that ex was bffs with his sister since childhood, obviously she remained friends after their breakup, as it wasn’t anything to do with her and her friend. 

Post # 10
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

When it comes to your spouse’s ex-files, it’s practically impossible not to have an emotional reaction.  I know that I get pissed just thinking about my Fiance hooking up with other girls in his past — something I know has happened because we were friends in college, and let’s just say there are a few memories that sometimes pop up in my mind! πŸ˜‰

What’s most important to remember ist hat we all have a past.  Surely you have dated others in the past and had relationships with them.  It’s difficult because as women we sometimes can dwell on things and focus on stuff that doesn’t matter.  He loves you and is marrying you, so anytime the green eyed monster comes into town just take a few deep breaths and remember that we all have a past, inluding you!  You can’t fault him for that.  He is devoted to you and that’s all that matters.  But, it’s always fun to remember how she’ll feel when she hears he has been married to someone else. πŸ™‚

Take care! xo

Post # 11
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@SunshineLovin:  Honestly it sounds like you are the one creating drama here. Everybody has a past. In a mature relationship you just need to look beyond the past and live in your present. You will drive yourself crazy and drive your Fiance away from you. Good luck.

Post # 12
Member
732 posts
Busy bee

I truly don’t get it. This sounds like a lot of overreacting and oversensitivity on your part. Chill out!

Post # 13
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Ballet513:  +1

Be a mature woman and handle things maturely. Why are people upset about something that happened near Prom?? You have a wedding to focus on! I think if you are upset about something that doesn’t even matter because it is in the past, way before you and him, it’s gonna be tough… Life has a lot more curve balls to throw and if you can’t even handle something in tah past, how will you be able to handle a mature, married life, with real problems like mortgage, jobs, family, children, goldfish, pets, etc?

Be the better person, you are beating yourself up over something that does not, and should not matter anymore. And like what other people said, don’t “punish” your Future Sister-In-Law by not making her a BM because she was friend with an ex. that’s just an immature move. but it’s your wedding, just make the right and fair, decision/s.

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