- 4 years ago
- Wedding: February 2015
I got engaged august last year, and everything has been a bit postively crazy in life.
This month we finally moved in to our own place, which is even more exciting as we have been doing a long distance reltionship for 3 years, so finally everyhting seems setteled.Through out my reltionship and this time i have had this best friend who has seen me through all this and the jouney. I always made sure i saw her regualary, just me and her, so quality girly time and she saw me and my FI togehter a couple of times too. She has a lot of issues and she doesn’t have a partner at the moment so she used to speak about how she felt lonely a lot of time and I used to try and help her with some of her issues.
Last August She never showed up to my suprise engagment (which invovled all of my best friends wearing t-shirts ) because she couldn’t get it off work apparently. at the time I let it pass that she wasnt there, but now I look back and think, it was a kind of a big deal she wasnt there for such a big ocation in her best friends life…
This is was only brought to my attnetion when a few months ago, me and my FI arranged to meet her for dinner and she didnt answer her phone or messages or anything and compeltly blanked us off and we didn’t hear from her untill a few days later and she claimed she had a ‘mental break down’ – even though i know she has many emotional issues I didn’t undestand why she coudln’t of just text and said that she coudlnt make the meal because she wasn’t feel well? that would of been cool with us and understandable, instead of leaving us hanging around wondering what we had done wrong. It just made me think back to the time she wasn’t at my engagment, and wondering why she kept having stints of behaving strangely or like she was trying to avoid us.
After this sittuation, I let her off, again…I don’t know why i let it slide, but I forgave her as i figured she was having a hard time. We used to speak a lot about her issues and drive around for hours talking about only her problems and how we could solve them, I even said she could live at mine and my FI’s new place when we moved in untill she had sorted out some of issues with her family, because thats what friends do – help each other when in need.
As soon as me and My FI moved in to our new place..her behaviour started acting strange again. We again ( me and my Fi) tried to arrage going out for dinner with her and she cancled serval times. At this point my Fi had a theroy that she didn’t like him, but all she used to talk to me about was how nice he was and how he treated me really well, so i didn’t think it was that. I also tried to meet up with her – just me and her, and still she kept making up excuses or canceling on me. Obviously moving in is stressful and we had a week were we didn’t really contact people because we were so busy moving in and I also had a uni deadline, but she knew this because i said i was busy with uni, and as student herself she could understand where i was coming from.
I was home on my own, and I invited her around, and finally she came round, I thought maybe just me and her she could have a chance to be open and honest with me.She was very quiet when she did come round though and there was an awkward atmosphere. we had a little chat and I asked how things was with her and didn’t really say much. After a couple of hours she left..and i remember thinking things seemed very off. After that, I didn’t hear from her for another week ( which was odd again as when she was ‘her normal self’ she would text everyday) and myself, i was busy sorting stuff out in the new place and finishing off my degree work. but i did ask to see her a few times and stuff but again, she kept canceling on me or making up excuses.
After days of silence i decided to message her. and then she came out with how i am ‘so selfish’ and how shes sick of other peoples ‘problems’ and how she is ‘done with me’. She started having this huge go at me.. i was litterarly shocked at how she spoke to me, i was taken back by it all really. She said i was selfish and self absorbed.. i didn’t really know what to say, apart from that fact that All i had done is move in to my first homel! so i had been busy. then she kept coming up with things about how she had crashed her car and a lot of other things i didn’t know about because we hadn’t spoken in a week.My FI was so angry beause of all the stuff myself and him had done for her he ended up messaging her asking her to apologise to me and they had abit of an arugment over facebook. and he ended up deleting her. – he would never normally get invovled, but i think he was so shocked and angry at the way she spoke to me he had to say something. Plus he always admits if i am in the wrong and this time he was like no, she is really out of order with how she just spoke to you.
She is still on my facebook and we havent spoken since the ‘argument’ online of how she thinks i am so selfish and all i talk about is myself…( which is not true)
I’m not really sure how to handle the sittuation now, but i kind of feel the friendship is now over? I personally feel she is a very jealous girl and is jealous of me having all this positive stuff happen to me it seems, but i’m not sure how an outsider sees the sittuation? I don’t know how she can say i am selfish when i offered that she could live here for as long as she wanted! and i always tried to help her with her own issues
I personally feel that you shouldnt have to contact your friends every single day? like she seems to expect? people are busy, have their own lifes? i have other friends i dont see for weeks, but when I do see them its like old times..its what friendships are like! its like she would see me and then be like can i see you again tomorrow, and the next day..Something which i always thought a bit clingy?
This girl, was suppose to be one of my bridesmaids and i am litterarly in shock at the disgusting way she spoke to me….
I am lucky that me and my FI have a lot of mutural friends and i have other close friends and uni friends, but thats not the point, the girl is suppose to be my best firiend so right now I am feeling very upset and confused and lonely 🙁
advice please! x