(Closed) jealous friend making things about herself…. vent.

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
5103 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@Cine: And I totally agree! All it takes is a little wedding planning to weed out the “not-so true” friends. Wow. Who knew?!

Post # 18
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Some people are competitive by nature, and if you still consider her your friend you must accept that she is this kind of person.

Of course it’s normal to be put off by her behaviour. You were expecting her support during this shower for your wedding, instead of her focusing on her own non existant one.

However I am sure there are loads of waiting girls who go at these events and make believe they are brides even if they are not engaged. They are probably expecting or hoping for a proposal and are really looking forward to starting to plan their own wedding.

Lastly, don’t forget that even when it’s about you – it’s still not. When you talk about your wedding, the person in front of you is probably imagining her own wedding (past or future). Your friend probably can’t stop thinking about her own wedding and how she would like it every time she sees you and talks to you. I am sure she doesn’t see anything wrong with her behaviour, as she’s not a bridesmaid and probably thought it would be a fun experience.

I would advise to let it go. And if you can’t, try to distance yourself from this friend or you might risk getting upset with her and ruin the friendship completely!

Post # 19
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Ugh, I hate when women are like this.  Honestly, it must be so exhausting to constantly be in competition with other people who didn’t know there was even a competition.  I had a friend who was so jealous of me that I actually would say certain guys were cute (when we went out) just to watch her go hit on them and try to “get them” before me.  I had to cut her off.

Funny enough, my Fiance has one of these friends who is constantly competing with him and it’s sad.  Fiance got engaged (last marriage), this guy got engaged a few weeks later then rushed to get married before Fiance.  This guy was “loving being single” until Fiance and I got together, then he suddenly had a girlfriend who he proposed to the same weekend Fiance proposed to me (and he knew about a month before that that Fiance was going to propose “soon” but didn’t have a specific date – boy did he rush!). There is tons more too…he’s always comparing salaries, houses, cars.  Fiance could care less. I honestly, am annoyed, but I just have to laugh about it. Everyone knows this guys is like this – even FI’s family weren’t surpised by any of it.  It’s really quite sad.

I would start distancing yourself from this girl.  I think she’s toxic.  She has a history to this behavior and it’s sad.  You are NOT being a bridezilla (despite any comment in this thread that you are overreacting).  This isn’t about wedding stuff…it’s about everyday life.  She’s not your friend.

Post # 20
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with the posters who said that the way this girl is acting just makes her look pathetic. It is one thing to want to get married or be waiting to get married, but to pretend to be a bride when you are supposed to be supporting an engaged friend? That is just a desparate and lame cry for attention. I really just feel sorry for people who are not secure enough to support their friends and instead try to make everything about them. Your friend must be very insecure.

Post # 21
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

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@BackyardLoveBird: I agree with you. I hate when women act like this.

Post # 22
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

my BFF went with me to a bridal show, and she signed up as a bride, used one of our good friends as her groom, and I even let her borrow a ring with a small diamond that i got from my parents as her e ring!! She was totally single, but we decided that it gave me twice the chance of winning something that I might need, and we had a total blast making up crazy things about her “wedding”! So for us, we made a great day out of it.

Personally, if I had a friend like that, i wouldn’t want her around.  Why have so much toxic drama around??

Post # 23
Member
7581 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

At first when I read the title I was like oh great another jealous friends story, but honestly this would have bothered too quite a bit. I think you’re warranted in your feelings about this situation. The next time she asks to participate in something regarding your wedding, I would just tell her you want to keep it to the wedding party. Sometimes, too, it’s best just to not say anything at all. Don’t tell her about your wedding plans and what you’re doing. If she asks, give as little detail as possible.

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