(Closed) Jealous friends

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2481 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I wouldn’t be too quick to label them as jealous. Instead, it sounds as if they are entirely self-centred and disintered in anyone else. And who needs friends like that?

Post # 5
4497 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t understand…. If they get new cars, imported horses, etc then why can’t they buy a house?

Post # 7
2037 posts
Buzzing bee

@Lizzy723:  I think I’m confused….

You say they are bad friends because it would appear to you that, you and your FI get a house, and you think they are jealous?

Could it be that they are just homebodies?  They prefer to be alone?  They are settling into married life?  TTC? 

My friendships ebb and flow…my more demanding friendships I would rather lose because honestly, I have my own life and relationship to worry about, and I don’t have enough time to cater all of my time to my friends.

Post # 9
2037 posts
Buzzing bee

@Lizzy723:  Are you sure that you two haven’t done anything to offend them?

I’m sorry…I just find it hard to believe that you buying a house means that they don’t want to be friends with you anymore.

I’m not sure how old you are….but I’m 31 and I just don’t really keep in touch with any of my HS friends…I’ve pretty much outgrown them all….Just something that happens.

Post # 11
2037 posts
Buzzing bee

@Lizzy723:  Friendships naturally ebb and flow….they are not about hanging out all the time, not even once a week or once a month. 

Personally, I would never dream of telling my SO who to be friends with or not to be friends with based on what I THOUGHT as far as my judgement on if they are contacting him enough or not…my SO is a grown man and capable of making these judgement calls himself.  Just try not to take it personal! Smile

Good Luck!

Post # 12
1129 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Lizzy723:  we all feel jealousy towards someone sometimes. The right thing to do is be grateful for what we have and be happy for our friends. I hope your FI’s friends can grow up and do the right thing.

Post # 14
12103 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think that it might be a little bit of jealousy, perhaps.  But I would also caution you to not assume what you’re seeing on facebook is accurate.  My BM and I were talking about this this past weekend (actually..I had this conversation with a few people this week).  Facebook leads us to believe that eveyone else has a much more active social life that we do.  Facebook makes me think my BM is out with friends 3-4 nights a week, in reality she’s home pretty much every night by herself.  She thought the same of me – FH and I almost never go out. 

Because we post pictures online, because we don’t know for sure WHEN those pictures were taken, there can be a perception that we’re busier than we are *most* of us don’t post on facebook, another quiet night at home with the dog, my life is boring.  We post things to make our lives seem interesting and exciting.  It’s one of the perils of social media.

Your friends may be a little jealous, or maybe they’re busy.  Maybe they think you’re too busy with your new house to have time for them?

Post # 15
4716 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Doesn’t sound like jealousy to me, they sound self centered and completely uninterested in anything that doesn’t revolve around them. Congrats on the house! 

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