Jealous of another couple

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
227 posts
Helper bee

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vinepixie100 :  

My brother and his wife are this couple. They make a ton of money.  They have one child and she goes to daycare or they pawn her off on my mom. They have a brand new house, brand new 2018 vehicles, blah blah blah. My life could not be more different and I don’t even care. They never see eachother or their child. It is almost like it has to be scheduled. So yes, on the outside,  they’re living the dream right? I value people more than things. I value time with my husband and kids and taking care of them and quality time more than material things. You’re only seeing their highlight reel and you don’t see all the little cracks. If you don’t believe in your self and your own life, you will NEVER be happy. And you don’t have to hang out with them!

Post # 17
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I think you need to get over your jealousy. Sorry bee 🙁

Post # 18
Member
915 posts
Busy bee

Yes bee please try to stop comparing yourself to others. I have been told by some of my friends that they sometimes feel jealous of me and DH because we travel a lot, and have good jobs, and appear to be so happy. I find it hilarious! They have no clue! I always try to remind them that we all have our own issues that aren’t on the forefront and we are by no means perfect. 

Your time is your time. When its time for you to get married and have babies (if thats what you even want) the timing will be right. And you are in a transition right now when it comes to your life. Enjoy this moment. Enjoy your relationship. Don’t compare.

Post # 19
Member
571 posts
Busy bee

Work on building your own life. Everyone is on a different path, has different luck, drives & opportunities. Try being happy for others. Enjoy the different stages of your own relationship. Money situations change. 

Post # 20
Member
2432 posts
Buzzing bee

Jealousy is one of those waste-of-time responses to a situation that you can never be absolutely sure  it’s What you think it is.

It’s not worth spending even a minute in making comparisons between your circumstances and the circumstances of someone who is not living in your brain.

Yesyesyesyesyesyes to talking to someone who is trained to help you objectively consider what is going on in your own life and making mature judgements about that. You owe it to YOURSELF.

Post # 21
Member
300 posts
Helper bee

Giiiirl you have no idea what someone else’s life is actually like.  I have been told that my Fi and I are “goals” and we have it all together.  HARDLY.  My Fi makes >100K per year, but he cries twice a week because he’s so chronically exhausted from the stress and alternating sleep schedules. We see eachother like twice a week. I’m a big proponent of transparency so I have no issue talking about our struggles.

I think a big source of jealousy and anxiety is lack of gratitude.  Water your own grass, love your boyfriend, and also practice self respect.  You can only control yourself and your life; haven’t read your prior posts but if you’re staying in a committed relationship >2 yrs and your Boyfriend or Best Friend won’t discuss marriage, then you discuss moving on.

Post # 22
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee

I mean it’s true what other bees are saying that you don’t truly know what someone else’s life is like, but I also don’t think you need to come up with ways/rationalize about how your life is better or the same. They might actually just, by every metric that matters to you, have it better. Oh well, that’s life. There are also people living under the constant terror of war in parts of Syria, and you have it better than them. That’s just life — there’s no inherent fairness to it, some people have it good, others have it worse.

Your happiness needs to come from being appreciative of what you have, and working on ways to improve it. There will always be people who have it better, and always people who have it worse. But that shouldn’t matter. What should matter is you. 

Post # 23
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough”

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