(Closed) Jealous of his bachelor party

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Maybe you could ask him to not drink to the point of a hangover, since you really will need the help decorating? I think that’s a reasonable request.

Post # 4
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I would definitely ask him to not get TOO drunk. The other stuff he’s doing is awesome, so alcohol could be cut back on!

Post # 5
4311 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am going to have to disagree.  He let you do what you wanted, now it’s his turn.  Let him have his day.  I mean, a wedding is largely centered around the bride anyways.  This is a whoopty 24 hours of his life, and then he is dedicating the rest of that time to being a husband to you.  Let this go.  It’s childish and not worth it.  Don’t let it ruin your day!!

Post # 6
3575 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I kind of have to agree with @crystalrodz.  It’s only fair to allow your Fiance to have his day too. 

Post # 7
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think crystalrodz has the right idea in this situation.  Since you know how you are going to feel about it, maybe you can work on how to get past it even before it happens!  Alternatively, is there any way to push back the decorating a bit?  Yeah he’ll be hung over, but eventually he’ll have to get out of bed and he could maybe help you later in the day?


Good luck, and enjoy your wedding 🙂

Post # 8
375 posts
Helper bee

Let him enjoy his day. I know that guys (some guys) dream about their bachelor parties. It’s basically the only thing that revolves around the groom (whereas the bride has showers and all). Let him enjoy it and don’t worry whether he’ll be too hung over or whatever.

Post # 9
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Just talk to him and let him know that you are def going to need his help on friday. But let him enjoy his party to the fullest! It’s his day and you had yours. My Fiance and I had our bach parties on the same day/night his ended up being ruined horribly by his brother while mine was amazing! I felt guilty at how much fun I had and how upset he was by the things that ruined his party. I’m sure your fi will be thinking of you while he’s out! Just relax and get all the crap done he can’t help you with, and drag his butt out of bed if he’s hung over when you need his help!

Post # 10
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree with the other posters who say let him have his day, and let him do whatever he wants and drink what he wants etc. It does suck that there is a chance that he’ll be too hungover to decorate, but if you say to him “don’t have too much to drink!” he might have a lousy time. He might too worried about decorating the next day to really enjoy himself, and he might resent you for it.  You might just have to recruit some other people for decorating. But this is his one night to go out and live it up, and just because yours was not ideal, you still had a good time, so let him go out and have a good time too. Also I hope you take no offense to this! I know weddings are overwhelming and decorating is a huge part of the stress, but don’t let it ruin your day!

Post # 11
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I agree that you really need to let it go.  What your girls did for you sounds very nice.

Post # 12
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it’s fine to be jealous of his awesome sounding day as long as it’s healthy jealousy (it exists) meaning you wish you could be part of it but encourage him to go balls to the wall and make some lasting memories.

Encouraging him not to drink too much is a really bad idea. Encouraging him to drink a lot of water that night, especially before bed, is a really good idea.

Just arm yourself with a breakfast plan. Encourage him to get out of bed with the promise of aspirin, coffee, bacon and hashbrowns. That should do the trick. There’s no reason why he can’t help you the day after but also no reason why he should slow his roll the night of his bachelor party.

Post # 14
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

My hubby was a bit jealous of my bachelorette party(s). I had a surprise weekend trip to Vermont, and a local party here with my friends. He had a night bar hopping (which he loved, but you have to admit a weekend trip and 2 parties are better). But he was still really happy for me to get to have so much fun. He understood that his Bridesmaid or Best Man has a family and doesn’t have a ton of money, so they weren’t able to spend as much money or time. My bridesmaids don’t have kids so they aren’t as tied down.

Post # 15
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would recommend trying not to get upset over his bachelor party. He did let you go out and have your night, its his turn. Maybe you both should have talked about the parties together before the plans were set… maybe it would have been best to have the parties at least a week prior to the wedding… either way, he wants to enjoy his night out with friends so try not to make him feel guilty. I think it is reasonable to ask him to drink enough to get buzzed, but to know his limit after! You should not have to decorate alone, if that were the plan from the beginning.

Post # 16
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m assuming the two of you discussed the fact that his bachelor party was going to take place the Thursday before your wedding already and you have agreed to it, for whatever reasons. Assuming that’s the case, you should try to let it go and encourage him to have his day. No good is going to come out of being mad about the fact that he’s too hungover to help, you both should have planned for that by either choosing another day or asking other people to help out with the decor. And he’s either going to look back on the week before the wedding and think “Wow, what an awesome wife I have who was so understanding about my needs and my friendships” Or he’ll remember it with resentment about how you SAID you were OK with the bachelor party, then got mad anyway when he couldn’t help out.

As far as being jealous, seriously don’t be. Boys have totally different expectations when it comes to bachelor parties than girls do. Girls are trying to be frugal, watch their figures, etc. while Boys have a savings account specifically for bachelor parties. My Darling Husband went with 19 friends (19!!!) on a 4 day destination bender. That means the guys had to pay for flights, hotels, every meal out, etc. Compared to my bachelorette where the ladies drove up to NYC, stayed 1 night with me and we went to the cheapest restaurant with an ‘all you can eat’ special to cut costs. We still had an amazing time and it was really memorable, at least I can remember mine!

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