(Closed) Jealous of my boyfriends brother and his girlfriend getting married .

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
6377 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I wasn’t really jealous when FI’s brother and sister in law got married but I felt like a raging lunatic when our two friends got engaged. We set my best friend up with FI’s best friend about 4 years into our relationship. 6 months later they were engaged and 6 months after that they were married. I found it really hard to be happy for them, even though I totally faked it (I was a bridesmaid & Fiance was a groomsmen). I acted really stupid through most of their engagement and said some hurtful things (not to them but to our other friends and it got back to them). I wanted so badly to be in their place and I felt like it should have been us! Fiance was super uncomfortable by the whole thing too since he felt like everyone was looking at him, wondering why he hadn’t proposed yet.

I realize now that I was being ridiculous and that I should have been a better friend through the whole ordeal. Do I think they should have rushed into marriage? Nope, but they made it work and they are very happy together. They didnt see the point in waiting if they knew they were going to spend the rest of their lives together. I wish that I could go back and change how I acted but whats done is done. They recently had a baby so Fiance and I have vowed to be a major part in their daughters life to try to make up for acting the way we did through their engagement. We plan to spoil the crap out of that kid!

I guess the moral of my story is, its common to be jealous but dont let it get out of control or else you will regret it when everything is said and done. If you and your SO are meant to be together, your time will come and you too will be a bride. Fiance and I were engaged in June and will be married next october, 6.5 years after we started dating. 

Post # 18
Member
1099 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  I know this was posted awhile ago, but I can completely relate! A little over two years ago, my SO’s older brother (who was 30 at the time) started dating this really nice girl. This was right about the time that I was finally feeling more comfortable with his family (I get along great with his dad, but his mom and I had some things to work out). The older brother (here on out referred to as “Bob”)’s girlfriend (who I will refer to as “Jane”)’s girlfriend was welcomed in very easily. Luckily, I really liked her, too, so there wasn’t any jealousy there…

  Until they got engaged. They got engaged after a little over a year of dating. Now, granted, they were older, they were in the same place, it made more sense for them. However, this was pushing back our engagement because my SO wanted to wait until after his brother’s wedding. In retrospect, this was a good choice.

  This made me beyond frustrated! I didn’t really want to hear any of their wedding plans. I was afraid that she would be looked at more as “family” than I would be, even though SO and I had been together for over 5 years by the time Bob and Jane got married. Thankfully, his parents really didn’t treat me differently. I think they knew that our time was coming up soon.

  I will give his family credit…come wedding time, they went above and beyond to make sure that I didn’t feel left out. Although I wasn’t in the wedding party (I played violin at the ceremony), I wasn’t hurt by that at all. I had just been in a few weddings and funds were short. I was included in everything, which was helpful.

  Now, SO is my fiance :-). True to his word, he proposed before the summer was over. At the time, I hated waiting, but it was totally worth it. It will look up…it’s just frustrating waiting for it to happen.

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