Post # 1
I just need to vent where hopefully someone will understand. My Sister and I are both getting married this year, and have both been married before. I am feeling a little jealous over all the attention her wedding is getting, when everyone seems to have forgotten about mine. Some back story to help you all understand.
When I was 21 I got married, my husband was abusive, emotionally and physically, I left him before I turned 23.
The year I separated from my husband my sister’s boyfriend was diagnosed with cancer. This was very hard as they were both only 19 when he was diagnosed. Due to the cancer my sister’s boyfriend decided he didn’t want to wait any longer and proposed to my sister. They were married three months later, and sadly my brother-in-law passed away shortly after their 1-year anniversary.
Last September my boyfriend proposed, I was so happy and excited. It took me a long time to be willing to trust a man again, let alone want to marry him. I am very lucky to have found this wonderful man and can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together. We set the date for November 14,2009.
In December my sisters boyfriend proposed to her, her fiancé is a wonderful man, I am very happy and excited for them. They set the date for August 15, 2009.
So far my sister has had 2 showers, and there will be at least 2 more. I think I will be lucky if I get even one. It seems as though all of the attention has been on her lately, and no one has asked (or seems excited about) my wedding. I know that we are in crunch time for her wedding with it being less than a month away. I also realize the attention may swing my way once the excitement of her wedding has passed. I just feel like my wedding has been put on everyone’s back burner and no one really cares any more. I have a feeling some of my extended family may have even forgot that I am engaged.
Post # 3
I’m really sorry!! ((hugs)) This is definitely not fair of your family. When there is more than one wedding in a family, this often happens, and I know it has to be so upsetting and disappointing. I do agree with you that more attention will "swing" toward your special day after your sister’s has come and gone, but watching her get all the fanfare is still frustrating, I’m sure. Could you talk to your mom about it? While of course you will be the bigger person about it, and share in celebrating your sister, it could help to share your concerns with someone in your family who would be sympathetic.
Post # 4
Aww. Hang in there. I can only imagin how hard this must be but I am sure like stated before that after hers that things will come your way. I would try to talk to my mother about it and maybe she can help also! Hang in there!
Post # 5
Oh, i’m sorry, this sounds really hard. I bet that they’re going "one at a time!" and once your sister’s wedding is over, the attention will turn on yours. 3 months between weddings is plenty for there to be a lot of parties in your honor. I’d mention it to your mom, though, so that she ensures there is equal treatment. Nobody wants to feel slighted, especially in regards to their wedding.
Post # 6
I’m sorry that you’re having to go through this. I kind of felt this way about FI’s cousin who go married about 6 weeks before us. Now that her wedding is over, everyone talks about ours now. In fact, it’s a little nice that someone went right before mine, since I can learn from her mistakes. Luckily, in your situation, you and your sister have a good amount of time between weddings – then people can start focusing on you anyway. Just a side note – even if your sister wasn’t getting married, you probably wouldn’t have had any showers yet, it’s just a little early.
Post # 7
I’m sorry you feel this way. most likely it’s because they’re celebrating the fact your sis has such newfound happiness after such devastation and heartache. I know you went thru this also in your prior marriage and I’m sure when the focus is off the FIRST wedding it will shift back to you.
What I’ve learned is whenever I’ve felt this kind of situation, I just give more to the person at the center…ie, LOVE more and then it comes back 10fold! Just give nothing but love right now and it will be such a more positive thing! I know your family loves you and wants you happy too! It’s just that most people have a hard time focusing on more than one issue at a time. That’s probably it.
I also think they’ll probably have your showers around the sept/oct time btw. You’ve got enough time for several showers!
it’s funny. Call it love, or doing what my Creator wishes me to do, or even good karma when you give love rather than angst or negative feelings and energy, but when faced with negative situations I always try this as a focus to get me through and amazingly after all is said and done, things are always fine.
Post # 8
I think you’ll find you get more attention once your sister’s day is over. I got engaged about 6 months before my sister’s wedding and felt similar to you for a while (it is first wedding for both of us). But once her wedding was over, the attention definitely shifted to mine. You just need to get through this one first, enjoy it and be happy for your sister, and then you’ll be feeling much better 🙂
Post # 9
- Wedding: May 2010 - Carlouel Yacht Club
Aww *hugs* I am sorry that you have to feel that way! Like the others have been saying, I bet that the excitement will turn to you as soon as your sister’s wedding is over…but patience is always hard to come by…I would be impatient as well!
Post # 10
Thank you all!
All of you comments and suggestions have helped me alot. I will focus on my sisters wedding, and being happy for her, knowing that afterwards it will be my turn.
Post # 11
I am sure that your family and friends are trying to just "go in order" but let your mom (or a family member you are close to) know and maybe it will help.
Post # 12
Awwww I’m sorry that you are feeling a little ignored, especially when you want to be excited about your wedding too. I’m sure you are right that the attention will swing your way once your sister’s wedding passes. On the up side, focusing your attention on helping her get ready for your wedding will make the time go by faster for your wedding. Hang in there and feel free to vent if you need to!!! We are all excited for you and would love to hear all of your wedding details as you are planning
Post # 13
(((HUGS))) Hang in there. I’m sure (hopefully) things will change after your sister’s wedding.
I know of a family where both daughters are getting married with only a few weeks between them. While the family tried their best to ensure both sisters had their time in the limelight, it was simply too difficult and they gave the first wedding more attention so as "to go in order." After wedding no. 1, the attention shifted completely to the next wedding.
Your turn will come…hang in there.
Post # 14
Wishing you all the best! We’re here to perk you up too!
Post # 15
Aww, I’m so sorry! Its no fun when you feel like no one cares about your wedding.
I do think more attention will be turned to your wedding once your sister’s wedding is done. I am sure it is no one’s intention to make you feel this way. Hers is just so close and people need a little recovery time in between, especially for things like showers. You just go on planning your wedding and getting excited for your big day. If you need someone to share your joys and frustrations the hive is always here!
Post # 16
you re just not as popular for wtev reason, ideally you should always space wedding 6 mos apart, AT LEAST so that each of you can get attn appropriately, I doubt after all this HOOPALA for your sisters, and urs being so close to the holidays that you ll get much of what she is, but do not fret this is supposed to be about you and your fiance… just focus on that