- 10 years ago
- Wedding: August 2010
Okay, I know I am being very unreasonable and jealous, but I hope there are a few others out there that can validate my feelings and help me to cope with this. Here’s the deal–my sister, with whom I am very close, just had a sweet baby girl. This is the first for everyone–her first baby, my first niece, and my parents’ first grandchild. So it’s extremely exciting, everyone is so happy, and she is the best baby ever.
So why am I jealous? I think it’s because my sister first announced that she was expecting immediately after she found out, which just happened to be two days before several members of my family came to visit and to attend my law school graduation. I totally admit that I was hypersensitive about her "stealing my thunder," and but for this hypersensitivity, I otherwise might not have noticed that when my sister and I first arrived at the hotel to see all of my aunts, parents, grandma, etc., they all congratulated her about the baby before congratulating me about graduating. And that with only two days’ notice, my mom found the time to go to the bookstore to buy my sister five different "What to Expect When You’re Expecting" type of books, but only got me a card for graduation (and she never got me a graduation gift…ever. I am not complaining, like I was expecting to get a gift… but it was just difficult not to be jealous, given that my mom showed up with a gift for my sister for getting pregnant and no gift for me, even though I just graduated from graduate school, first EVER in my family).
Then when Christmas rolled around, my fiance and I got engaged and went home to visit, and I felt that my mom was genuinely excited–we went to the bookstore and got a dozen wedding mags. But that quickly wore off because my sister gave birth less than three weeks later.
Additionally, my mom now talks to my sister far more frequently than she talks to me. I have always been in closer contact with my mom–we usually talk two to three times per week, whereas my sister and my mom only talked once every two to three weeks, and my mom usually got updates about my sister from me (since I talk to and see my sis frequently). Now, when I call my mom, she never bothers to call me back and I usually have to try several times (over the course of several days) before I finally get through to her. Every time I talk to her, she mentions that she talked to my sister earlier that day, and the day before, and the day before that, etc. But apparently she didn’t have time to return my phone calls.
And–last gripe–my parents just came out to visit to meet our sweet little baby for the first time (my sister and I live in the same area, and our parents live about a 12-hour drive away). My fiance and I had a great time with them, but it was clear throughout the entire weekend that we were secondary. Okay, that’s understandable. But I called my parents at the time they were supposed to arrive home after the long drive back, and my mom told me that they had <span class=”Apple-style-span” style=”font-style: italic”>just arrived home only 25 minutes before and so she couldn’t talk long as they needed to continue unloading the car, etc. But guess who she had already called? Yep, you probably guessed–my sister. Just to see how her day went.
Ugh! I hate that I am feeling so jealous, because I love my sister, I love my mom, and I love love love my baby niece! But I am seriously beginning to feel like no one cares about me and my fiance getting married, now that there is a baby in the family–like who cares about a one day, expensive celebration when there is the next generation to think about? For what it’s worth, I am not at all the type of person who needs to be the center of attention–in fact, I am normally quite reserved and shy about attention/accomplishments.
I kind of feel like eloping or something… every time I talk with my mom about our wedding plans, I feel like she could not care less! And it makes me feel so unloved.
Has anyone else felt this way? How did you cope? Should I say something to my mom, or just let it pass?