Post # 1
Lest I ruffle any feathers, let me start out by saying I hope each and every one of you gets a proposal. Preferably tonight. However …
For almost my entire life, I never wanted to get married. As a child, I never really saw any examples of stable marriages. I didn’t start planning my wedding when I was four. I never envisioned myself in a white dress. To the child version of me, marriage was something that inevitably ended up in failure. As an adult, I decided I never wanted to have children. And it seemed totally illogical to permanently entwine my life with another’s if there weren’t kids in the picture. I saw nothing wrong with being with someone forever, but didn’t see why it was necessary to formally get married. And I loudly proclaimed, “I’ll never get married.” I even joined a group, “The Alternatives to Marriage Project” and bought their book, “Unmarried to Each Other”.
And then, I met this dude. And it hit me – I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, legally declare my intentions in front of a huge group of our loved ones, and throw a massive party. I became a lady in waiting. (I realize I could have simply proposed to him, but if I was going to go through the time-suck of planning a wedding, I needed some preemptive action on his part.)
My worldview had been rocked. And I had no one to talk to about it. Literally all of my friends were either engaged, married, or didn’t want to get married. Plus, all of my friends would have had a field day, with Miss I’m-Never-Getting-Married turning into Miss I-Want-A-Proposal-And-I-Want-It-Now.
I know that some people disparage the Waiting board. But I think it’s vital. The best way for someone to truly *understand* what you’re going through is for them to be experiencing it, too.
With all that, though, I still hope you all get a proposal tonight 🙂
Post # 3
aw! I am so glad I found the waiting board when I was still waiting. I think it spared a lot of my sanity and a lot of friendships (so I didn’t have to talk to my friends about zomg whats he doin’ now) heh. I love the waiting board!
Post # 4
I love the waitiing board too!! lol!!! I hope i get a confirmation tonight 😀
Post # 5
Wish I had the WB when I was waiting 🙂 I’m so glad I found this board when I did though because by this point I would have completely lost my sanity. 🙁
Post # 6
I’m not waiting, but I love the Waiting board. I love when someone gets engaged and shares the excitement with the hive!
Post # 7
@FlipFlopBride – That’s so true! I love seeing the “He PROPOSED!!!” subject lines 🙂 Or the “I think I’m engaged…..” ones (Hi crebre80 🙂 )
Post # 8
Oh my gosh, I totally agree. While I was waiting, I thought I was the only one in the world that ever had to wait. All the other girls I knew got proposed to before they could even start waiting for it to happen. I really REALLY thought I was the only one. Once I ended up on WB and saw there were sooo many other ladies in the same boat I had been in, it was like a light went off or something!!! Other people actually had/have to wait too – it wasn’t just me!
Post # 9
@honeybun… I felt the same way. I still don’t know anyone IRL who has had to wait and has been dating even close to as long as me and Boyfriend or Best Friend, but I am so glad I have this community!!
Post # 10
Wow! Your story is my story (minus joining the group). Never wanted to get married, have kids, nada. Didn’t dream of Mr. Right none of it. Could not have possibly cared less about being single the rest of my life. Then he changed my mind. So you are right, it is nice to have a board and know you are not alone.
Post # 11
I was right there with you redherring. I’m so glad that I’ve had this experience and morphed into a total wedding girl!!!!
Post # 12
awww, thanks redherring! not to worry, i wasn’t one of those girls who dreamed of their wedding either. i was too busy playing tag and getting into trouble but i am glad they created this board because it’s nice to have other people to talk to that are in this unique situation. my friends are either single or married so there isn’t anyone that’s “waiting” by any stretch of the imagination so there really isn’t anyone i can talk to about the feelings i have. sure my bestie can kind of relate to her period of waiting but i don’t have access to her all day and night. haha.
Post # 13
@Mrs. DG – It’s funny that you refer to the process of “morphing into a wedding girl” – My fiance still doesn’t quite understand how I’ve gone from “not getting married” to “reading over a dozen wedding blogs and being a Hostess on Weddingbee”. What can I say: I guess I’m making up for lost time!
Post # 14
This board is fantastic. There are situations that people sometimes just can’t understand if they’ve never been in the situation. I hated trying to talk about what waiting felt like to my family members and friends who had never had to wait for the men in their lives to come around. I needed one place in the world where I wasn’t considered a frazzled, crazy mess. I came here to look up venues for my sister (she’s an encore and didn’t have to wait either time) and I never left.
Post # 15
Redherring, you and I are kindred spirits in regards to the morphing… lol. It was quite unexpected and similar to an avalanche I suppose!
I appreciate your and others’ support of the waiting board! I guess some ladies just do not understand or perhaps remember the waiting stress… since my best friends just got engaged/married, I have no one to really commiserate w/ when I need to!
Post # 16
Aw, best post ever! I am so, so in love with the waiting bees and the waiting board, no doubt. And while I didn’t get a proposal tonight (not that it was expected since we haven’t gone ring shopping yet. This month!), we did start on a pre-marital question book!