(Closed) Jealous relative – How to deal with it?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Unfortunately, its probably best to invite him. I HATE my aunt’s husband, he’s a total d-bag. Even last night at my aunt’s (his wife) birthday party he didn’t say one word to me and Fiance. But, it’s best to invite him or I’ll be offending several people. I’m hoping he won’t come because he doesnt like my brother…

Post # 4
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

He said what?!?!? Wow, it is BEYOND rude for him to say you are marrying your Fiance for travel and money. You need to make sure he finds out that such comments are completely inappropriate. If you feel uncomfortable telling him, tell your family, his brothers, whoever and tell them you were VERY offended. Hopefully they will let him know. Does he always make rude comments? Maybe he has no filter or concept of tact? 

Post # 6
Member
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Oh good grief!

First off, I do think you have to invite him to keep the peace. Just ignore him at the wedding as much as possible, that’s what I did with our guest like this. 🙂 She is always negative, never has a nice thing to say…and literally scowled through our vows (according to the bridal party and my mom) as well as not even getting us a freakin’ card or congratulating us! But you know what? She is the one that wastes her life with negativity and cynicism, not us. 😀

She is a gf of a very important family member, and is clearly jealous because they have been dating for over 10 years and this person has no desire to marry her (not getting into all the details, but to give an idea), but I’m sorry if you can’t be happy for us I’m not going to feel badly for you really.

 

Post # 7
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2013

When one of my friends got married last year she was really worried because she had to invite several family members she did not like and did not get along with. The good thing is, is that in the whirlwind of the wedding she hardly noticed they were there at all and didn’t think about it. So hopefully if you have to invite him you won’t notice him either because of all the excitement of the day!

Post # 8
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I know I’m in the minority here, but I wouldn’t invite him.  I really don’t get the concept of inviting people you don’t like to YOUR wedding.  I just don’t believe in it.  It’s your choice in the end & I understand wanting to avoid potential drama.. but I still wouldn’t invite him.  This is how people go through life and continue to say and do horrible things to people… because no one checks them or puts their foot down.  People let them sllide in the name of being the “bigger person”.  Sometimes it takes being the “little person” (lol) before people realize that they can’t go through life treating people any kind of way.

Post # 9
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@MsFoxxy:  I agree! I wouldn’t invite anyone you don’t like to your wedding. It’s your day and should be celebrated by people that love and support you. 

Post # 10
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I say tell him how you feel. If he has any common decency he will feel remorseful and bite his tongue at your wedding. Or if he is a total jerk he will be so insulted he won’t show up.

Post # 11
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Good for you for being so calm when he made those comments. I would’ve lashed out and let him know that not everyone marries for travel and money, and it’s incredibly rude for him to insinuate that I was. Some people are just jerks!

With that said, invite him and make sure he sees how beautiful and loving your wedding will be. Let him squirm in his little jealous seat. Punk.

Post # 12
Member
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with MsFoxxy  

Why should you spend money on him to come just so he can do this to you more? There is a guy in my family I invited to my wedding but neither of his brothers. Don’t feel obligated to invite someone you don’t want there. It is up to you, this is just my take on it.

Post # 13
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

MissCris…you sound like such a sweetheart.  I admire your ability to take a deep breath and not shout back in his face.  However, I say you invite who you want to your wedding.   If he is a “must have” for your parents’ lists, then it may be another story.  But if the guest list is completely up to you; you do what you want.  You only get to plan one day exactly the way you want it…and if you don’t want his negativity and inappropriate comments there, then cut him off the list.  If he asks why, you can always share the same “honesty” with why you didn’t include him as he shares with you on your relationship. 😉  Good luck!!

Post # 14
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Alright, I know I’m going against what most people are saying…but I wouldn’t invite him.

I have a similar relative, my mom’s brother, who after years of ruining any and all events that were thrown for me (birthday parties, communion, confirmation, graduations) finally acted in such a rude way that I said I’m done and told my family I would no longer communicate with him. I just got sick of being the “bigger person” when the person in question was a full 25 years older than me, yet had been picking on me since I was a child!

While he still attends other family events (Christmas, cousin’s weddings, parties, etc.), he doesn’t get to attend mine, and I chose not to acknowledge his presence at these events.

My grandmother wasn’t happy about it at first, but it is what it is and now everyone just accepts it. I would never invite someone who was so rude and made me so uncomfortable to what should be the happiest day of my life.

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