(Closed) Jealous SILs are making me want to snap on them.

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Ugh. What is with these women?

 It sounds like you need to cut back on time spent with them, as well as how open you are about personal things. I can’t imagine any reason his sister’s need to know about ANYTHING regarding your life insurance policies and premiums. That’s not their business. That’s not anyone’s business. 

You’ve already mentioned that this appears to be jealousy, and I agree.  Just distance yourselves from the sisters a little and simply smile and nod, when you do see them. I don’t think you could possibly reason with these women, if you tried. I am not sure I’d recommend saying anything, because they sound very negative, and I imagine it would turn into a nightmare.

Furthermore, kudos to you and your husband for doing whats best for your children. It sounds like you’ve got a good thing going on.

Post # 4
Member
14424 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

A.  dont talk to them.  B. just ignore it  or C. call them out point blank on it and let them know you’re sick of these passive aggressive comments.  They may just be so  unhappy with life in general that they are just totally pessimistic and not even realize its rude to you. 

Post # 5
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I do think they realize they are being mean to you. No offence. Sorry, I know women just like this and while the passive agressive nature may be second-hand to them… I’m sure they realize when what they say gets rude or out of hand. How has your husband handled it? 

I agree you should ignore them and limit time spent with them. People who bring you down so much is not good, I’m glad you can see that this is really their issue… not yours. You’re living your life, not catering to in laws. 

Post # 7
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MrsFuzzyFace:  Sounds great! hang in there, I hope it gets better soon. Glad to hear he’s doing something! 

Post # 8
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

How are they privy to so much personal financial information about you? My husband and I until very recently didn’t have 2 pennies to rub together, and we not only managed to raise a great kid, but no one (including our parents!) ever knew about any of it. Money (in my opinion) is a very private thing, does he share these details with them?

Post # 10
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Having life insurance is selfish? Never heard of that one. They sound so angry that they can’t even see that what they say doesn’t make sense!

Post # 11
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Yeah, I mean you’ve been married now for 8 years, it’s probably time for them to stop fixating on your ring. My standard Stay-At-Home Mom response when people question is “We’re careful with our money” or “I don’t need to explain myself.” The more you share about your money situation, the more you invite people in to have an opinion on it. Family can tend to have the attitude “I’m struggling and you’re not, you should be helping me out.”

Post # 11
Member
3452 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

From now on, I would tell them to mind their own business and keep their opinions to themselves.  They’re jealous.  It sounds like they expect some type of financial support or handouts from family that is doing better than they are.  That is unfortunate, because as an adult you are in charge of your own life and family.  Also, having more money doesn’t make you a better parent.  I’ve known plenty of people who are poor and raise good kids.  That’s the lamest excuse to be a poor parent that I’ve ever heard.  Sorry you have to deal with them.

Post # 12
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

@KatyElle:  I agree.

 

@MrsFuzzyFace:  After the first or second time they asked you about your finances you should have told them that that was between you and your husband. If you know these women will try to use this information about you, stop sharing it with them. I guess to me it sounds like you sharing that information came off as bragging and putting yourself on a pedestal above them and they were jealous so they are using it against you. Just stop sharing. Stop conversing about it. Stop interacting with them. Stop giving them what they want… a rise out of you.

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